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Pocahantas presents a little Valentine’s day humour for the fabulously single!
1: Schedule everyone in your department for a mandatory 7:30 meeting—at least a month in advance—the morning after Valentine’s day and assign each of them a moderately complex presentation.
2: Throw water balloons out of your third-story apartment onto unsuspecting couples.
3: Go to the sex shop buy everything that you would use were you getting laid and express mail them to your boss’s house with a teddy at least 2 sizes too small for his wife (make sure to pay in cash).
4: Parade around the office in black from head to toe advising any and everyone that you meet that this very night we must all face our reckoning and you wouldn’t want to be caught in the act of fornication.
5: Prank call restaurants making tons of reservations backing up the door crowd even more.
6: Cancel your one-night only baby-sitting service for family and friends at 6:00 due to an “unforeseen family emergency.â€
7: Cancel your one-night only pet-sitting service at 7:00 due to any reason at all that gets you out of having 4 dogs, 3 cats, and a parakeet that only says “Justine loves Robert†in your apartment.
8: Snatch the last decent-looking bouquet that features anything remotely similar to roses right out of the reach of a procrastanova—he should have ordered in advance.
9: Call all of your exes simply to remind them of why you all broke up, reminding them, of course, that you were still the best thing that ever happened to them
10: Prepare to do it all again next year cause with this kinda karma that’s all that’s gonna happen!
Pocahantas is a 23 year old fiesty female with loads of common sense and yet an unstintingly healthy dose of cynicism when it comes to men and relationships. She’s currently single and living in the great metropolis of Atlanta, where half the men have lots of drama and the other half are gay. Tune in weekly for her reality check on single living in the great US of A.
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haha love it, I may do one or two of them!
#9 oh ya baby #9…
love this!