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Yes some people have met the love of their lives and had lots of fun with online dating, but more often than not, it’s a pain in the ass. I did try it when I was single and I was a touch scared of the weirdo’s that are out there and how confrontational, over familiar and downright creepy people can be when they instant message or email you. Most of all, it’s other people’s experiences that lead me to really dislike online dating…
1. Liar, liar, pants on fire. Jaysus if you want to find the largest cluster of deluded liars, check out online dating sites. Many of these people could be done for violations of the trade description act if it applied to dating. False photos, pretend careers, false personalities, pretend lives, forgotten marriages, forgotten children, and much more. There is so much dishonesty it’s difficult to trust that someone is actually being honest when they are.
2. Unsolicited d*ck shots. For quite a lot of guys, it seems that making contact with a woman online means that it’s time to get their penis out, photograph it and send it to her. When Baggage Reclaim did a Penis Parade in the old forum over a year ago, there were literally hundreds of penis shots submitted by women who had got them from their online dating escapades. At least if you chat to a guy in a bar, he’s unlikely to whip his penis out unless he wants to get arrested….
3. Dumb profile names. As if anyone is supposed to believe that you’re not looking for a shag when your name is Hotdick69, Cumtomebaby, Sirlicksalot, Siliconelove, Barebacklover, and much more. Ugh!
4. Overfamiliarity breeds contempt. It’s like there is no decorum. Someone sees your photo and if you’re online, they IM you with an innuendo or send BS emails about how they are in love with you, want to meet you, or want to touch you, and all because they saw your picture and read your profile. When you’re face to face with someone and they make sexual innuendo’s when you barely know them, it’s not good. When it’s done by email or IM it’s downright laughable. I was amazed at how many guys skipped over introducing themselves and went straight into seduction!
5. Weirdo alert. You get a load of winks and there is always one guy that takes umbridge about the fact that you didn’t wink back or get in touch with him. Or they send an introductory email and let’s say you’ve had a busy week so you don’t look at your emails for a few days, they’ll be a string of increasingly terse emails from guys who are clearly highly insecure about the lack of reply.
6. Cheaters central. Online dating is the haven of people who should be logging off and spending time with their husband/wife/girlfriend/boyfriend. Instead they’re soliciting dates, having a flirt, sending dirty emails and arranging dirty get togethers with either unsuspecting individuals or other equally devious people. They even have special websites just for this type of extra-curricular activity…
7. RFTP. Read The F*cking Profile. I’d like to meet a guy between 25-34 based in London solicits men ranging age from 18 to 80 living in may different countries… People spend time writing profiles about interests, likes and dislikes, only for people who clearly didn’t read it to get in touch. And that’s all because these people aren’t really that interested in reading the profile, they just want to get into your pants.
8. It’s that Eighty:Twenty Rule. One set of people ruins it for the others. I’m sure there are honest people genuinely looking for friendship and love, it’s just that there is clearly an overwhelming majority who want to wreck it for them by abusing the opportunity to meet someone new and putting online dating in a bad light.
9. Why would I want to pay for a headache? Most of these sites get you to pay to avail of all of the communication options and to get full use of the site. But really, you’re just paying for lies and weirdo’s making their way into your inbox and potentially into your life.
10. Technology actually hinders communication in dating. Emailing, IM’ng and texting should not make up the bulk of any persons contact when they really want to embark on a relationship or even open up communication to start dating. Tone is open to interpretation and these type of communications ultimately make people lazy. But then again, making face to face contact with some of these crackerjacks could be more than you bargained for…
NML is the editor of Baggage Reclaim and The Mr Unavailable Guide.
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What, I’m not the only one who gets unsolicited d*ick shots? See my post: “Why do you think they call them mushrooms?” for an “indepth” analysis.
Why you are paying for lies and weirdoes to make their way towards your inbox. Might be into your life! Get rid of those rusty services. Kisscafe.com (www.kisscafe.com) is providing cool dating services. Just go for it!
So there aren’t plenty of annoying drunks at the bar as much as they are online? You just gotta turn that filter on high sometimes…
I say there should be another Penis Parade soon.
I find the whole online dating thing to be ridiculously contradictory.
No matter how adorable the website, how happy the couples on the commercials look, or how romantic the profiles of those who ‘e-woo’ the unsuspecting lady, the unsolicited d*ick shots still come out of the woodwork after the initial meet and greet via chat room.
Personally, I think there must be a more creative way to approach dating.
I met my boyfriend in the emergency room of a hospital.
Desperation is perhaps the problem that fuels this hassle of lechury.
I agree with much of what has been written and would still be willing to give it a try. However after considering online dating and reviewing a series of possible sites, why is it that men most commonly are looking for women 10 or more years younger than themselves? Further why, is it that men in 45-50 age group still want to have kids?
As far as I can tell men outnumber women on sites 4:1, is this real? If it is then there are a great many men between 35 and 50 who haven’t gotten it together and don’t know they haven’t done so!
Confused but not really surprised,
jane
Hey great post! Online dating, there are so many things wrong with it, its not funny. But you forgot to mention the part where you whole family finds out that you have an online profile somewhere and then bombards you with letters that include all the horror stories of online dating. But hey i can only speak from personal experience.
Yeh there are a lot of psychos out there, but you walk out on the street and go shopping and you’ll still find them out there in the real world too. They are just better dressed, that’s all =)
With that said, provided that you majorly filter out all the crazy, horny, old, fat, ugly people you should be fine. I tried online dating, got masses of responses and so it was a GREAT ego boost. If you want to call it that.
I did go on dates, but i made it really hard for them to get me out on one. I was constantly testing these guys (not like we don’t do that with your average guy anyways). Anyways didn’t end up finding someone to date seriously, but i made a shite load of guys friends who are completely normal and hot (might i add) as well as a best friend who i talk to everyday and see on a weekly basis.
There’s good and bad to it I spose =)
Hot Alpha Female
http://www.hotalphafemale.blogspot.com
Ah, not a fan of the online dating world at all.
Too much fantasy, not enough reality.
Be whoever you want to be, and when you meet, bam, nothing there.
More bad experiences than good for me, and I have tried a few of them…I think the guy to girl ratio is so ridiculous that guys go right for the pounce sometimes.
Which is too bad, cause I know a lot of ‘real life’ people who are online dating and not having any luck.
But they would meet someone if they walked away from the computer and actually tried something new in reality…
Glad to know I’m not the only one who (now) finds online dating on par with yanking my own hair out strand by strand. I’ve never felt so rejected, dismissed and “nexted” as I did when I tried an online site. One charming man said it was just a “process of elimination”– gag how sad is that? So the point isn’t to get to know people but to eliminate them? That’s not the attitude I want to have when I interact with people.
I’m convinced people are seriously deluded with their “find my soul mate” mentality.
On Line Dating – I’m glad I’ve tried it but personally it’s been more hard work than anything.
Meeting sooner rather than later is a must. Building up rappore on the phone or via email doesn’t necessarily mean there is chemistry when you meet. It’s so disappointing what is great on paper doesn’t even come close.
The dates I’ve been on have all gone well and was pleasant enough but it was just a formality. I trust my instinct and if there’s no chemistry it’s the first and last date.
Ignore the weirdos or the one’s who send irate emails because you didn’t reply back immediately.
Always read the age limit on their profile. A 40 y.o. man with a range between 18-60 isn’t a quality I’m looking for. Apart from the obvious, what can a 40 y.o. man have in common with an 18 y.o woman?
Men who you haven’t even met claiming undying love or who is far too serious than they should.
Women tend to lie about their weight. Men lie about their height!
Things will happen when they happen whether meeting naturally or on the internet.
Hmm…. paying money to advertise myself on the internet in order to solicit the attention of strange men who claim to be looking for a “relationship” requiring “chemistry”?
No thanks.
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