Bullet Wounds & Another Use for Fishing Line… (a true & anonymous story)

She and her adventurous partner had been drinking heavily one night and then came home to start a kinky sex-adventure with each other. Things were heating up in the sack, and the toys came out and the duo was having a great time. They were getting adventurous and experimental when HE apparently requests that SHE become a bit more adventurous with a certain toy. To be specific, HE asked for “The Bullet”. Rarely one to turn down a special request, SHE willingly and enthusiastically indulged his request.

If you’re not familiar with it, “The Bullet” is sort of an entry-level vibrator. Yeah, we really use them for working out the kinks in our necks. Lets not lie to each other now, ok? In any event, if you’ve been living in a Monastery or Convent and don’t know what it looks like, here’s more info: “The Bullet” is a slender, sometimes ribbed, cylindrical and tapered vibrator made of hard plastic. Imagine an egg on the end of a magic marker, only a bit more aerodynamic. Usually, they’re about 7-8″ long. One end is where the batteries go; it’s about 3/4″ and screws on. “The Bullet” end is a bit bulbous and then it tapers down to the end. So, it’s shaped much like a bullet — at it’s thickest, it’s about 1″ in diameter. When used with lubricant, my friend claimed that “the bullet” was very slippery and hard to hang on to.
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Phrases Feared By Men: What Do You Think Of?..

In the first of this series I indicated that the invitation to “Surprise Me” was important because the possibility of sex rested on a satisfactory male response. However, in that instance we were only talking about immediate sex. In the instance of the “What Do You Think Of….” can of worms, an inadequate response might result in an absence of sex on many occasions to come.

Because, as with so many of the most terrifying phrases, the question she seems to be asking here is actually a great deal removed from the question that is actually being posed. She does not want you here to tell you what you think of whatever the item in question is. She is wanting you to recite, precisely, word for word, her opinion of said article, without first having the benefit of any kind of clue as to what that opinion might be.

The thing she is asking about could be pretty much anything. A person, a place, an object, an idea. It doesn’t really matter what it is, it is the concept behind it that is important. She is testing you to check for compatibility as a future partner, and it is a test you had better damned well pass if you were hoping to be seeing her naked at any conceivable point.

Say, for instance, you are on a second date. The first one ended well, you saw her to the door, gave her a brief kiss, not passionate, just one of those where the lips brush that says “I like you enough to allow a small level of intimacy” and you went your separate ways. Now, during this second date, she asks the question “What do you think of private schools?” Warning, warning, danger Will Robinson!!!! The question she is actually asking here is “are you a potential father for my babies?” This does not mean that she is a bunny boiler and is trying to rush you down the aisle. It is simply because she is a woman, and is thus always thinking at least five years into the future, whereas men are seldom thinking further than their next trip to the toilet.

And because this is the actual question she is asking, a great deal of future sex rides on you answering correctly. Because if you are not compatible on the private school question, then plainly you are not a person she would consider making babies with, and thus there is little point in embarking on sexual relations in the first place. Unless you closely resemble Brad Pitt, of course, in which case she may decide, what the hell, at least I’ll get a good shag out of it. But if, like most of us, you are a vaguely homely looking chap, this becomes a far less likely prospect, as getting a shag and nothing else from you is not exactly her idea of a satisfactory result.

But other questions, ones which seem innocuous, may carry the same weight. Maybe the question will be, for instance, “What do you think of Michael Schumacher?” This seems a harmless enough question, and you may be caught off guard and provide an answer based on your knowledge, or lack thereof, of Formula One Motor Racing and all it’s intricacies. Which is fine, so long as it’s the right answer. For instance, you might respond that you think it a positive development that Schumacher’s dominance of the sport over the last half decade or so came to an end this year, because there was a danger of stagnation which could lead to a downturn in interest and thus funding. Meanwhile her own thoughts were more along the lines of, “he’s hot and has a very sexy accent.” In this instance, whatever you do make sure your answer is non-committal and can be turned in the opposite direction at the first hint that you have chosen incorrectly!

But the absolute most terrifying situation in which to be asked an opinion for the average male is in the clothes shop. Because in this situation the odds are upped. You may be able to wing it on personal opinions, but in matters of fashion, your opinion is going to be judged at a later date by those she encounters in a social situation, so if you get it wrong you could cause her acute and intense embarrassment among her social circle for some considerable time to come. Which is unfortunate, as for the average heterosexual male our entire knowledge of ladies fashion can be summed up as follows:- “Huh?”

It constantly surprises us to be asked our opinions in clothes shops. Surely, we think, the collective women of the world should have learned their lesson by now? Surely they must be aware that when they step out of the cubicle we are only vaguely aware that they are wearing something different from when they stepped into it? And, of course, the truth is that they are, that no woman who had managed to go their entire lives unlobotomised by this point would ever leave such an important question in the hands of a male. This is a test, to see if we are paying attention.

Sadly this is one situation on which nobody can help you, you’re on your own. Women in clothes shops operate differently from men. A man walking into a shop wanting a shirt will see a shirt he likes and buy it. A woman looking for a dress will have to look through every dress in the shop, and several other shops, and is actually equally happy when she finds something hideous that she can mock as when she finds something nice. So on any given occasion, when she appears to be wearing a hideous object that resembles a large fairy cake, you are actually supposed to laugh. On the other hand, she may be serious and your laughter will end any possibility of sexual intercourse forever. On the other hand this may be a blessing, as otherwise you would be having sex with a woman who wants to look like a fairy cake, which is okay in and of itself but it’s after the sex that the problems may set in.

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How Do You Meet Men?

When I think back over all of the places that I have been where I have met guys or attempted to, I realise that being single can be an expensive habit. My smug couple friends all watch dvds and eat takeaways, which is way cheaper. These are all the places since I broke up with my ex in June 2003.

1. Countless bars and nightclubs - London

The longest I have lasted with a guy that I met like this is 3 weeks. In London, there are 11 single women to 1 man if they are both in their 20s, which explains a lot of things.

2. Abroad - NYC, Washington, Egypt, Mallorca, Antigua, Hungary and Dublin.

Do you know that I have only met ONE bit of hot totty in all of those places during this period?

3. Leaving Do’s

You know what they say, out with the old, in with the new. And then start again…

4. Blind dates and through friends

After a series of disasters, it has become clear that my friends have no clue what is suitable for me when it comes to blind dates. One was a complete perv and the other needed a sense of humour transplant as an off the cuff joke backfired spectacularly. There was some success though when I was introduced to one guy and we dated for 5 months.

5. Tube Station

I thought I would be brave and let myself be chatted up. I regretted it 3 days later when I found myself on a date with a guy that fired questions at me like a police officer and analysed the date whilst on it. I’m back to my original stance: Only weirdo’s chat me up on the tube.

6. Grocery delivery

Sometimes I get more than the meat and veg I ordered when I get chatted up by the guy who humps my delivery up the stairs. They all try it and they all comment on whatever I have ordered and it’s always a state the obvious moment.

7. Maintenance Man

I had to do an emergency callout when my idiot neighbours flooded my hall. He didn’t arrive till almost midnight but completely overstayed his welcome by spending an excessive amount of time filling out the form and asking far too many questions about the non-existent state of my love life.

8. Chinese Takeaway

I was convinced the guy was a bit odd as I was sure that he’d spied out the window to see where I live. Then he cocked up my order and without thinking, I phoned him up and he ended up delivering the food to my door and then he really did know where I lived!

9. Work

Here’s a hot tip: Be careful of sh*tting on your own doorstep. It does get messy and you’ll want to avoid it if it doesn’t get cleaned up….nuff said!

10. My Mum Pushes Them On Me

I just look completely disinterested now or say something really naughty that has her tutting and giving me filthy looks and him apologetic ones.

11. The Gym

If you’re looking for totty at the gym, don’t bother, or at least don’t join the one that half your company go to. Why the hell would you pay money to see people you don’t fancy sweating at a spinning class?

12. Estate Agent

I rented a flat from one and he asked me out for a ‘friendly drink’ which I accepted, but as soon as I mentioned the imaginery boyfriend, he said he had a headache…

13. Kilburn High Road
I always get approached by old men, sometimes dirty ones and they always offer to carry my shopping, even though another woman just walked by with a load of bags. I politely decline their offer and they ask me if I want to go for a drink. I’m worried that I’m giving off a funny vibe….

14. Speeddating and Lock and Key Party’s

Fun but full of strange guys that are paying the money to be weird on my time. It’s great practice for learning how to talk to guys meaningfully for 3 minutes but I have never actually been on a date with anyone I met at these events. I did however end up on breakfast TV, forget about it and then was spotted by lots of people that knew me. Oh the shame. Now half of my mates back home in Dublin must have been laughing their heads off after me moving to London and not picking up any hot totty without paying for it……

So, where are you meeting guys?

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Dating Games: The Pushey Pulley Game

One of the most frustrating of all the Dating Games is the Pushey Pulley Game (PPG). Over the summer, many women bloggers seemed to be experiencing a blogdemic of Pushey Pulley Bullsh*t (PPB).
I’m writing this article to help women cut through the PPB. I’ll answer questions such as, “What is the PPG?” “Who plays the PPG and why?” “How to identify the PPG?” and, most importantly, “How to stop from being a victim of the PPG?”

Everyone, at some point, has been a victim of the PPG. You meet someone who you like, and who professes to like you. You date, or hook up, and then, for some unknown reason, they pull away, they ignore you, and/or they do something nasty. When you get upset and ask if there’s something wrong, they tell you that everything is fine, and they’re still interested. They will do this until you believe them, then they’ll repeat the cycle of ignoring you, pulling away and/or doing something nasty. And then rinse and repeat, and rinse and repeat, and rinse and repeat, until you eventually figure out that they’re full of sh*t and end the game yourself.

There are two main types of Pushey Pulley men. Type #1 is “The Coward.” This guy isn’t playing the PPG to be malicious; he’s just not interested or has something else going on, and is too much of a coward to be honest about it, so he continues to profess interest while blowing you off. He probably won’t contact you a lot, if at all, but when pressed, he will always tell you that he likes you, but is just too busy. Type #2 is “The Malicious Bastard.” This guy plays the PPG because he wants something from you (i.e. sex, gifts, revenge, ego boost, etc) but he doesn’t want a relationship with you. He may wine you and dine you one week, and then the next week will stand you up, and when you get upset, he’ll have a million excuses and may even blame you for his behavior. Then he’ll reel you back in with fancy words and maybe some more wining and dining, and then he’ll do something cruel again. “The Malicious Bastard” will go to great lengths to continue playing this game with you and will always initiate contact, and keep it going indefinitely, or until he’s achieved his desired end.

The PPG is easy to identify. Simply put, his words will not match his actions. He’ll tell you that he likes you but he won’t call. He’ll tell you he wants to spend time with you, but he’ll never ask you out and will use the excuse that he’s too busy or he’s going through a hard time. He’ll tell you that he’ll be there for you, but will make excuses if you actually ask for help. He’ll tell you that he wants a relationship with you, but is prevented from getting too serious because he’s still dealing with an ex or he’s still not over his last relationship. These Pushey Pulley Men are, generally (and especially The Malicious Bastard) very good actors. Most of them are accomplished liars, possess no scruples and, from extensive experience, know just what to say to women to make them believe their lies. If they frequently use phrases that begin with, “You are the only one I ever…” or “I’ve never done (X) before I met you,” etc, it’s generally a sign that they’re lying. Pushey Pulley Men will say and do things to make you think you’re special, and that’s how they will keep reeling you in.

Other signs to look out for are verbal and emotional abuse. Generally, if you catch them in a lie, or you protest about some mistreatment you’ve received, they will immediately turn the tables and insult you somehow, or act as if their behavior is your fault.

In the dating world, it’s nearly impossible not to experience it at least once. However, the best way to avoid ever having to deal with it is to recognize the signs as early on in a relationship as possible. If he lies, if he’s verbally abusive, if he insults himself, if he makes promises he doesn’t keep, if he is still hung up on or somehow tied to an ex or an old relationship, there’s a strong likelihood that you’re going to be dealing with Pushey Pulley Bullshit. And, the number one rule of thumb to remember is that if his actions do not match his words, he’s playing the PPG.

Let’s get smart, girls and stop being pawns in this ridiculous game!

About the author: After receiving a nice, wholesome upbringing in a typical Midwestern town of the US, this intelligent, witty, and frequently snarky chick, craving adventure, managed to receive her first real-world instruction on the streets of Paris. After that eye opening and somewhat harrowing experience, on a whim, she moved to The Big Apple where she was permanently corrupted. She’s an armchair psychologist and enjoys analyzing herself and others, while maintaining a deep appreciation for the ironies of life.

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CSI: Cum Scene Investigation

Call me childish, but I was howling with laughter reading about this product on Infidelity Today. The world gets stranger every day because there is a sperm testing kit which will enable a guy to test for sperm in the woman’s knickers, which apparently proves that she’s been doing someone else.

“After sexual intercourse women experience a condition commonly referred to as “flowback.” This flowback results in dried semen stains in her underwear that can quickly and easily be identified with CheckMate.

The Infidelity Test Kit is a conclusive non destructive test that detects the semen itself. Yes or no results are obtained immediately. Normal vaginal secretions will not affect the test. “
Say what? It seems to me that if you’re going to the trouble of rifling in a womans knickers testing for sperm, it might be best if the two of you have a chat and decide whether the two of you are meant to be.

Lets say I have sex with my boyfriend (an imaginery one at this particular moment in time!) and then I shower, head off to work and have a bit of this ‘flow back’ they refer to? Now throw in my imaginery boyfriend who has been moaning about the male colleague that I work on projects with and keeps saying that he thinks that somethings going on when it’s not. What if he decides to play CSI and investigate my knickers when I get home?

And yes, there is a male version of the product but naturally there is a lot of technicality surrounding the determining of whether he is bonking someone else….
“ Say for example you discover one small localized stain at the bottom of the underwear. This may indicate dripping after masturbation. But, if you happen to find a stain in the upper waist band area of the underwear, this would more than likely indicate he was at least semi erect, and may have pulled his pants back up quickly after ejaculating. Semen stains in the waistband area of the undergarment are usually accompanied by several other semen stains that were deposited in various locations as the erection subsided, as well as a fairly large stain at the bottom.”

I am frightened by the technicality involved in this sperm debacle. Angle, position, presumed state of erection - If I was inquisitive enough to do something like this, I think I’d have to put on a ridiculous wig and a mac so that I could be incognito!
Well for $49.95 you can buy the equivalent of a Jerry Springer episode in a box and stage your own show down. English people should avoid paying the whopping £49.95 and find a US site that ships internationally. I still think it’s nuts, but each to their own!
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What Makes You Cheat?

I frequently hear horror stories about people discovering that their significant other is cheating and whilst it would be all too easy to assume that’s it’s just sex, I am curious as to what forces are at work when we decide to take the plunge and do a spot of double dealing.

Let’s look at some of the most recent reader scenario’s that I’ve heard of.

Couple together for seven years, owned a home together for almost three of those, but it seems that he has been cheating on her for five of them.

Then there is the golden couple but he’s cheating on her every time he has a spare moment, sometimes just snogs, other times full on sex.

There’s also a couple who’ve been married for longer than I’ve been alive, but she’s had more affairs than he’s had hot dinners.

What about the guy who’s been with his girlfriend for a couple of years but has cheated emotionally or physically since the first few months?

Or the couple who were together for more than a decade, but he played away for almost all of it and since they broke up, he’s gone out with several women, and actually lives with two different women, but they don’t know it.

The scenarios could run and run but they’re all cheating, and when you put aside the apparent horniness, I think it’s safe to say that some of the following are occurring:

Insecurity

What does someone do when they need constant reassurance that they’ve still got the old magic and that they’re still attractive to the opposite sex? Go and shake it for all they’re worth, creepy creeping around bars and nightclubs and having a flirt whenever the opportunity strikes. Insecurity can also come about when you’ve been together for a few years and it’s unclear about where you’re headed and you’re not getting any answers. Something internal says you want to play it safe and not bank on your seemingly indecisive partner.

Boredom/Newness

Some couples really struggle to keep the old magic in the relationship. In fact, most do and I would be suspicious of anyone who says that they have never been through that frustrating period when everything seems ‘the same as always’ and they craved the excitement that a new relationship brings. Years ago you were having sex three times a day, every day and pawing each other at every opportunity, now you’re lucky if you knock boots once a fortnight, and the sex is average. Or you’ve just stopped going out for ‘dates’ and your life together is one big TV marathon. All of a sudden everyone else seems so attractive. I spoke with one such victim recently and he said
“I don’t know what the f*ck is wrong with me. I don’t want to have sex with her anymore and I haven’t touched her for ages. However, when it comes to every other woman on the planet, I want to have sex with them.” As we discussed where things may have taken a bit of a nosedive he said, “Well she pulled out all of the stops in the early days of the relationship and we did some wild sh*t together, but what the hell else can she pull out of the hat now?”

Perceived Lack of Attention

One or both of the parties can get really career focused, which is great, but if one or both of you is working all of the hours possible, where do you get that quality time together? “I knew she loved her career, but I had no idea exactly how power hungry she is and I feel like I’m just in the way” He then cheated with a ‘homely’ woman so that he could feel nurtured. When kids come along, that shifts the focus of attention and if one of them consumes all of their energy with the child, this can often lead to some playing away from home. I recently heard a guy moaning about the fact that his wife is too tired to pay him attention or have sex with him as she’s tired from having to get up for their small child. He bitched for ages and went on about some woman that’s been giving him excessive attention at work and I thought to myself: He could solve all of his problems if he split the getting up with her. Maybe then she’d have enough energy left to massage his ego….

Perceived Cheating

I always work on concrete evidence before I start making noises about cheating, but plenty of people don’t. They get a perceived whiff of it, or they put one and one together and get four and despite the assurances that there is nothing going on from their partner, they won’t let it go. This is where it gets tricky because somebody who won’t let go and then goes out and does ‘payback’ will look rather foolish when it transpires that nothing has actually happened. But what about the accused? Be accused often enough and it can eventually become truth because what difference will it make if the accuser already thinks that you’re cheating?

Revenge

I have heard some painful stories of revenge that involve destroying every item that the person owned, holding his nuts in a vice grip whilst he lay beside the new woman, submitting his/her info to all sorts of sites so that he gets spammed relentlessly etc, but some people will exact cheating as their weapon of revenge. I feel sorry for the person who they cheat with as they probably don’t know that they’re a weapon.

Lack of Sexual Understanding

For some people when they’re partner fails to address their sexual desires, this leads to them finding someone else who will. Nevermind the fact that the sex between people who are having affair is mindblowing because it stems from so many dysfunctional things that are at play…

No-one is a mind reader, but if you’ve spelt it out in black and white and your partner isn’t playing ball, what do you do? This perceived sexual incompatability can create gulfs in a relationship that just get wider and wider, the longer the issue remains unresolved and left long enough, sexual compatability is often sought elsewhere.

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Living Together: Committed or Trial?

I read an article today on iVillage.com which says that the US Census Bureau state that the number of unmarried couples has increased tenfold since the 1960s and that one of the fundamental reasons as to why couples who marry after living together divorce is because, once again, men and women have a different perception of why they are living together.
For the average woman, living together is a firm commitment from your guy and you pretty much expect to see a ring at some point if marrying is the way that you want to go. However, for the man apparently, living together is their way of evaluating the relationship before they make a commitment.

The article asks: “Are men really less committed than we think?” Er, no sh*t Sherlock! It doesn’t take living together to discover this fine fact!

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Finesse

Definition: “Refinement and delicacy of performance, execution, or artisanship.
Skilful, subtle handling of a situation; tactful, diplomatic manoeuvring.” ~ Webster’s Dictionary.

Once in an intimate sexual setting, finesse is also more commonly known as foreplay. Finesse is the skilful execution of getting from daters to lovers.

This is sparked by NML’s post on Tired of Men. In it she described how she was turned off by a guy that she had been digging up until the point when she realized that he didn’t understand the finer points of foreplay.

See guys, foreplay is not a minute fondling our boobs and then a second check to see if we got wet. Just because you get turned on just by a thought doesn’t mean that we ladies are wired the same way.

In fact, purely physical actions cannot get me into the mood. My head has to be in it, my heart has to be in it, and all my five senses must be thoroughly stimulated and heightened. It’s a process, one that a guy has to fully understand and cater to before he can even progress to the next step.

Foreplay begins even the second we open the door. Flirting, the banter, the slight touches over the dinner table, the sultry stares, kissing, embracing, holding…that is all foreplay. It’s a tenuous balance that can easily be shattered by external situations. Think of it as a small spark that must gently be coaxed into a flame, and then a roaring fire. That is how gradual the progression is, with each layer building on the next.

The setting has to be right. If I’m worried that your mom/ex/kid/roommate is going to come barging through the door in a few minutes, chances are, I’m not going to be into it. If I’m thinking that it might be too soon, then it’s not happening buster. If I told you a few minutes ago we weren’t going shag under any circumstances, the sight of my bed shouldn’t turn you into a randy teenager. If the status of our relationship isn’t clear to me, or if I have any ill-givings in any way….I’m sorry, it’s just not going to happen.

Foreplay is sensual. It’s about seduction. It’s erotic. Without it, I’m not going to get it on.

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Should We Teach?

I’ve discovered recently that a great kiss doesn’t translate into great in the sack, but does that mean that I should become ‘teacher’ and teach him all that he should know?

In a world where it is not that easy to meet people and there is another side of us that doesn’t want to have keep fishing in the dating lake and putting ourselves out there, when does it stop being acceptable to teach someone the ropes?

I guess this where we have to think about all areas of the relationship and weigh things up. Sex is a very important part of a relationship, but it’s not the be all and end all. We can have great sex with people and but still be incompatible elsewhere. I don’t expect the earth, moon and stars to collide and fireworks to shoot out of my ass, and I know that life isn’t like the movies, but when has it become acceptable not to want more?

There have been a lot of suggestions regarding how I should move forward:

1) Teach the guy the ropes - Main concern is going to the trouble of investing the energy, only to discover that things aren’t right between us

2) Give him another chance to redeem himself when I’m comfortable with it. Leave some distance between us and the bedroom and focus on rebuilding the chemistry - Should we have to rebuild?

3) Move on.

Just so we’re clear, it would be a back to basics lesson…

Sounds like far too much hard work for me…

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Losing Interest After First Date Sex

Why is it that when a man sleeps with a woman on the first date, the woman is seen as promiscuous and the man is seen as, well, a man?

A male acquaintance went on a first date with a woman and they slept together that night. He has completely lost interest in her. He defended his position by saying that he felt that things were happening far too fast. I asked him what he would have done if she had said, ‘You have 2 choices. We can go and do what you have suggested, or you can come back to mine and I’ll shag you.’ He said he would have shagged her. ?????????????

Apparently when a man is offered it to him on a plate he will almost always take it. It’s sex after all.

Men still get a kick out of it when a woman offers them the opportunity for sex. It is very difficult it seems for them to turn down sex. This is because it doesn’t happen very often unless you’re a singer/movie star/very loaded. Women are always being come onto by men. This has been happening since we were in our teens so it really doesn’t make us jump in delight when we get propositioned. In fact, mentally we’re probably thinking ‘F*ck off’ the majority of the time.

Do the litmus test and ask some men how many women have made eyes at them this week, chatted them up, or propositioned them for sex, and the answer will be zero, or a very low number. Ask most women and they can probably speak of a few encounters. It’s just how the world works!

Naturally all of the guys think that the guy in question is completely right not to be interested in her anymore. Their answer: ‘He’s realised that she’s just not his kind of girl’. It’s a shame he didn’t realise that before he had sex with her. Oh that’s right - He liked her until she gave it up!

I would like to send a ’stiff’ reminder out to guys that it takes two to tango and it is wrong for you to sleep with a woman and then put her down for doing so. If you don’t have enough respect for her to still like her after you’ve had a mutually fulfilling experience, you shouldn’t be dipping your willy in there in the first place.

Women make the mistake of assuming that because the guy is just as up for it and engaging in the act, that it will be OK in the morning. The majority of the times it won’t be, trust me.

When guys sleep with women knowing that they don’t respect women who sleep with them on the first date, it is gratuitous sex, which is had at the expense of the feelings of the woman. It is so off that men put down women for knowing what they want in the sex department and going for it. Men do it ALL the time and in my 28 years, I am yet to hear of a guy that gets put down by other men for having sex on the first date, or just being plain ‘ole promiscuous.

Men get patted on the back for racking up another conquest and women get a verbal kick in the teeth.

Now it is unfair of me to just be hard on the guys and women must take responsibility too. Be honest with yourself about what it really was that you wanted out of the date, because it is no secret that the majority of guys struggle to look at first date sex as anything that can go beyond that, so you must be clear about what you expect to happen. Unless you know this guy really well and trust him, or there has been a meeting of the stars and you’ve both decided that it’s love at first sight, then keep your legs firmly closed.

I knew a woman that slept with almost every guy on the first date, despite claiming that all she wanted to do was settle down with a husband.

“I just don’t understand NML” she wailed. “They seem like nice guys, we have great chemistry and I just get so horny and they do too. I never hear from them again or get a load of excuses.”
I knew that it was now or never and required bluntness.
“It’s because you keep f*cking them on the first date. You have to make a choice here: Do you want a husband or do just want to get laid?”

She looked outraged and I thought it had fallen on death ears, but it must have done something, because she’s settled down with someone after years of wading through a wasteland of first date sex partners.

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