Sex – When Sex is Just Sex: It is what it is but how about the guys speak up!
February 29, 2008 by NML · 6 Comments
A few days ago I wrote about The Justifying Zone, that slippery slope that women can find themselves on when they stick with a guy so that they can justify their emotional or sexual investment, even if they recognise that that the relationship is doomed. A couple of male commenters raised the point that sometimes a guy just wants sex, which of course made me want to revisit this subject.
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The Justifying Zone: when a woman needs to justify her emotional or sexual investment
February 26, 2008 by NML · 16 Comments
The Justifying Zone is that slippery slope that a lot of women find themselves in, especially after they have sexual contact with a guy. Many of us feel that we need to justify our emotional and sexual investment and this justification is effectively attempting to close the door after the horse has bolted.
The Justifying Zone will always appear when a man fails to live up to the initial promise that he first exhibited or does something inappropriate or that raises a major red flag that could potentially scupper the possibility of the relationship. If for instance, he’s a Mr Unavailable and the ambiguity increases along with all of his other core behaviours, the potential to stay in the zone and cling to it for dear life becomes even bigger.
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Mr Unavailable and The Fallback Girl Book One Available to Buy
February 21, 2008 by NML · 9 Comments
Just over two and a half years ago I stumbled across the realisation that not only did I love Mr Unavailable’s (emotionally unavailable men) but that I was a commitment-phobe that was sabotaging all of my relationships, unbeknowst to me. I started sharing my insights here and at The Mr Unavailable Guide, and I am still astounded by the number of women that are just like me.
Mr Unavailable and The Fallback Girl Part One is finally available to purchase. It’s my guide to emotionally unavailable men and the women that love them. I am empowering women to get smart about their faux relationships with these men and gain real positive change so that they can find personal happiness, which in turn, will lead to better relationship opportunities. This is not about trying to change him (most of us have realised that it’s nigh on impossible) and instead find out how and why Mr Unavailable behaves as he does so that you know how to read the signs and get the hell out. This is the start of embarking on path of building your self esteem so that you can get happy and open yourself up to the prospect of a healthy relationship.
Find out the types of situations that you can be drawn into by these men, get a list of his many signs of emotional unavailability, learn about how he manages down your expectations with The Status Quo through blowing hot and cold and how these men pull the whole ‘This one time in bandcamp’ thing where they trot out the same lame excuses so that we feel sympathetic to their ‘plight’ and don’t ask for too much. Discover how Mr Unavailable relegates you to ‘accidental’ booty calls or friends with benefits and why the relationship with this man is doomed. This is just the beginning…
It is £5 which is roughly $9.83 although it will tell you when you go through to checkout!
Please let me know if there are any problems downloading. This is the first time I have ever done an ebook so no doubt there will be a technical glitch or something! I will be doing a website and if there are any amendments that are made, you will automatically be sent a revised edition.
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Mr Unavailable and The Fallback Girl Part One Launching and Competition
February 19, 2008 by NML · 8 Comments
on this post
It gives me great pleasure to announce that this Thursday I will be launching my first ever ebook! It’s now available to buy!I know that it has taken much longer than I anticipated but I have taken the decision to publish the book as an ebook trilogy in order to stop the wait! Thank you to all of you have been patient and the hundreds who registered by email!
What is it about? Mr Unavailable and The Fallback Girl is my guide to emotionally unavailable men and the women that love them. I am empowering women to get smart about their faux relationships with these men and gain real positive change so that they can find personal happiness, which in turn, will lead to better relationship opportunities.
Book One focuses on helping you understand who Mr Unavailable is, how he operates, what makes him tick, the types of situations you can find yourself in with him, why he is dangerous, and most importantly, how to spot and avoid him. It also gives an initial background to the Fallback Girl, emotional unavailability in general, and commitment-phobia.
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Happy Valentine’s Day…boo….
February 14, 2008 by NML · 7 Comments
If you’ve been reading this blog for long enough, you’ll know I’m not a big fan of this Hallmark day. Too much expectation and drama and not enough emphasis on the basic idea behind the day in the first place - celebrating your love. And that doesn’t have to be just for your significant other, that should be for yourself. However, love yourself and show yourself due care and concern 365 days a year, and don’t just wait for a commercially appointed day to dictate the ‘romance’ in your relationship.
But obviously, if you are celebrating, enjoy! In the meantime, here’s a few love links in honour of the day…
How to tell if you’re boyfriend’s a psycho - This video of tips for sussing out your boyfriends psycho meter is hilarious. Just be careful because if he really is a psycho, you may get waaaay more than you bargained for… [Howcast]
But just in case you think you have any psycho tendencies…there’s a video for the ladies too [Howcast]
Check out my 10 Tips for Surviving Valentine’s Day Whether You’re Single or Attached [Ask Dan and Jennifer]
10 Naughty Things To Do On Valentine’s Day When You’re Single
10 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Let Valentine’s Day Stress You
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Advice: Why won’t he contact me?
February 13, 2008 by NML · 33 Comments
Last month I advised Astelle with Advice: Help me understand how my emotionally unavailable man has been treating me and Advice: Why did he respond if he’s not interested in me?. To do a quick recap, Astelle was involved with an emotionally unavailable man who she wouldn’t hear from for long periods of time unless she made contact. Occasionally they would meet up and they would go through brief spurts of togetherness, but for the most part, it was very off. Astelle has stuck to The No Contact Rule since then and when she started this I explained that he was unlikely to make contact and now I explain why.
Astelle asks “In your response you said that it’s unlikely that HE will make contact with me. My friends tell me that as well, but I think they tell me that because they don’t want me to wait for him and they know he is a user and a piece of crap.
Read more
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Link Love
February 12, 2008 by NML · 2 Comments
I’m still in love with TrueHookUpConfessions. The funniest one is a girl meets a guy when he calls her number by accident and discovers that he’s a psycho after a year! Hilarious!
Just in case one orgasm isn’t enough, Vixen’s teaching you all how to have multiple orgasms over at the Bad Girls Guide
I’m now a columnist over at the very fabulous, very popular Ask Dan and Jennifer. My first post was 10 Tips for Surviving Valentine’s Day Whether You’re Single or Attached.
We’re being forgotten on Valentine’s day, well at least if we live in the UK… This is just further proof that there are a lot of people that don’t buy into this Hallmark day….[Yell]
Hot Alpha Women is helping men understand our lingo.
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Is women loving jerks and Bad Boys really a dating myth?
February 11, 2008 by NML · 31 Comments
I’ve been reading a couple of thought provoking posts over at one of my favourite blogs 40s Singleness, in particular a post about women loving jerks being a dating myth, and of course it’s got me thinking.
Women do love jerks, i.e. the perpetual ‘Bad Boy’. Or if we put it in a language that makes us a bit more comfortable: we love men that create drama. We want excitement, passion, fireworks, and whilst we sometimes get that, we often get plenty of mistreating, emotional unavailability, and ambiguity. ‘Nice Guys’ aren’t claiming a rough ride for no reason; it’s because they often get relegated into the friend zone for behaving half way decent and being available.
Very few women would hold their hands up and say they like assclown Bad Boys and those that do, well they’re a different, rather honest kettle of fish, but every day women blindly pursue relationships with men that reflect the negative things that they believe about themselves, love, and relationships.
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Advice: What’s the difference between emotionally unavailable and he just wants to break up?
February 7, 2008 by NML · 12 Comments
“How can you tell the difference between a guy who’s emotionally unavailable and a person who simply decides to withdraw and breakup because there wasn’t enough there to make it a long term relationship? How do the two differ?
I’ve had my brush with a Mr Unavailable already - and it really broke my heart. I just want to learn the difference between the two situations and not jump to assigning the “emotionally unavailable” tag to a guy just because things don’t work out.
I really hope that I can learn the difference.”
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Link Love
February 5, 2008 by NML · 2 Comments
I had no idea that reading other people’s secret confessions could be so much fun but I have become addicted to True Hook Up Confessions and True Mom Confessions. There are some baaaaad girls out there and I love it. Whatever mischief you’ve been up to, whatever naughty or even evil thoughts you’ve had, there are women out there just like you, or even thinking worse! Love it!
There’s a 35 year old man out there with no relationship experience, and he’s wondering what to tell women who ask about his past… I’m wondering what desert island he’s been on… [Advice from a Single Dating Expert]
Dating Dames ask “Are open relationships healthy?” Oh hell no!
AskMen has Ten Effective [more like defective] PickUp Lines
Have you ever heard of ‘Choreplay’ before? Yep…neither had I! [Dollymix]
The Law of Attraction - Yes we do draw in what we think we deserve… [Ask Dan and Jennifer]
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