Drama Seekers: It’s time to get off the relationship crack
March 31, 2008 by NML · 4 Comments
Today is the very first day in the 30 Days of Drama Reduction series.
Lot’s of women believe that drama is part and parcel of relationships. Some are purposeful Drama Seekers, actively pursuing men that cater to the high adrenaline factor, but there are a hell of a lot of women out there that are ‘Accidental’ Drama Seekers.
You say you want to be happy. You say you want to settle down. You say you want to have better relationships. You say you want to stop being men with an emotional age that’s in the minus category. You say you are sick and tired of the same sh*t, different man, yet…it’s Here We Go Again Time.
You just seem to have a lot of drama going on in your relationships.
Your actions and relationships are in contradiction with what you profess to want. You actively pursue relationships you say you don’t want. You are heavily emotionally invested in relationships you say you don’t want.
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Thirty Days of Drama Reduction
March 28, 2008 by NML · 3 Comments
On Monday, I’ll be starting a Thirty Days of Drama Reduction series. Every day I’m going to post an insight and tip about the inadvertent quest for drama and how to overcome your drama seeking tendencies so that you can learn to gravitate towards healthier relationships and also give a boost to your self-esteem.
There are so many accidental Drama Seekers out there and unfortunately, seeking out situations that cater to the drama meter only serve to sabotage any possibility of happiness, whether that be on your own or with someone.
Many readers are hooked on dysfunction. Many are hooked on the emotional rollercoaster. I get women telling me that they want to be happy and that they can’t bear the madness…and then throw themselves head first into situations that drive them crazy. Too many women are seeking out the fairy tale and everything around us seems to be telling us that if we’re not trying to create adrenaline rushes through all of this drama, we are lacking something in our lives.
All of this ends up having us believing that we are in love with a guy when in actual fact it’s the familiar feeling of drama that he brings to the table.
It’s time to get real. It’s time to put yourself on drama control! It’s time for a change!
If you have any specific issues or questions you want tackled, now is the time to put them forward!
Look out for posts from fab bloggers such as Hot Alpha Female, Lisa Q, Lance from Honey and Lance and more!
Have you got insights or tips to share? Have you written a post about drama? Would you like to include a guest post? Drop me a line and I’ll include you in the series.
Your thoughts?
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Pilot scheme! Consultations and coaching with me by phone
March 27, 2008 by NML · 4 Comments
I am going to be piloting phone consultations over the next two weeks. The amount of emails and comments I am receiving asking for advice on some pretty difficult subjects that need more time and attention shows that there may be a need for this…but only you guys can let me know if this can work!
To test this, I am looking for five people who are prepared to do two forty-five minute sessions each. This is an opportunity to have one-on-one coaching and consultations with me to help you get to grips with common problems like being the other woman, breaking up, emotional unavailability, low self-esteem, and general dating and relationship questions. To get the most out of these sessions, it would be ideal if you have specific issues or questions to kickstart it.
What do you need to do? Email me with why you think you should get these coaching sessions. Try to keep it under 250 words. Get in touch at contact [at] baggagereclaim.co.uk. As it’s a pilot, Skype is my preferred method of phone contact.
I am also considering email consultations so if a lot of you respond, I will set up a pilot for that too!
If you want to see how much I’ve helped readers, check out some testimonials
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How do you heal a broken heart?
March 27, 2008 by NML · 3 Comments
Canada asks “How do you heal a broken heart? When you’ve really cared about a person and they unexpectedly end things with you, you can’t help but feel low and defeated.
How do you pick yourself up and move on even though you’ve got so many feelings for this person? What should you tell yourself to give yourself a bit of a pep talk and how should you approach getting back in the dating game? (when meeting someone new feels really scary and daunting and you really want to avoid getting hurt again so soon)”
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Relinquishing Your Addiction To Someone
March 26, 2008 by Hot Alpha Female · 12 Comments
Hot Alpha Female writes…
Some say its love. Some say because it’s meant to be. But you want to know the real reason why you’re running back into the arms of your ex?
Because you’re weak. Because you’re needy. Because you have not yet remembered the enjoyment of your own company.
I know it’s harsh but the only reason why I know this place so well, is because I have been there. But I’ve learnt my lessons and that’s why I refuse to go back to that place ever again and that’s why I want to give you girls the strength to do it too!
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Romanticize This…Holiday (vacation) romances
Cheekie writes….
Ah the memories…a perfect night, a perfect moon, a perfect beach, a perfect kiss. A perfect, passionate sex-on-the-beach where even-the-sand-didn’t-hurt-in-there (that much) moment.
Perfect perfectness.
No everyday BS. No dishes, laundry, dinners to cook.
No fights, no petty jealousies.
Just one night of bliss, or maybe more.
Depends on the length of your vacation I suppose.
Yes, I am talking about the Vacation Romance.
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Link Love
Does being real seal the deal? Baggage Reclaim contributor Hot Alpha Female reminds us to bring it back to basics with our true selves.
Read the fab review of Mr Unavailable & the Fallback Girl by Lisa Q, plus her revealing self-examinations which include the Assclowns and Douchebag series of posts she is writing as she works to offload her emotional baggage.
Love takes off masks, over at Dating Dames. How real love can help you to unburden yourself of your insecurities.
You want a player boyfriend, trust me by Lance over at Honey and Lance dispels some misconceptions about playa-players where you could almost believe it’s a good idea to date one!
Read my ten tips for blind date setup and survival at Ask Dan and Jennifer
Also read my Twelve Commandments of First Dates at Ask Dan and Jennifer
I’ve also done my motherhood column over at Dollymix, as apparently my maternity leave was a ‘career break’…
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No Ex On The First Date
March 20, 2008 by NML · 3 Comments
You’re on a date. You’re both nervous and you make polite chit chat. Maybe you order a drink and loosen up a little and you’re both tentatively finding out about each other. You start talking about dating/relationships/how you’ve come to be on this date and somehow the conversation slips into the shock infested waters of Ex Territory. Now I don’t care how you got to the conversation, exes do not belong on dates in any way, shape, or form, and certainly not on the first few. If you talk about your ex you might as well have brought them along with you and plomped them in between the two of you.
The most common misconception about asking about exes or blabbing about them is that people believe it’s an opportunity for either party to find out how the other ticks within relationships. People think that you can find out how ready a person is for a relationship, whether they are looking for something serious or searching for a shag, whether they are crazy, and how they think this person will behave if they were in a relationship with them. Now I’m not saying it’s impossible to glean some information from conversations like these but there are two factors that skew any information that you get:
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Stop fearing being single and the power of the magnetic smile
March 19, 2008 by Hot Alpha Female · 8 Comments
Hot Alpha Female writes
Being single - It’s great! I love it and you should too. Why is it that we are so scared to be alone anyway? Are we ever really alone?
I know heaps of my girlfriends that seem to be jumping from one relationship to the other and it makes me wonder when do you really get to spend some time just getting to know yourself? How do you really know who you are if you are always with someone else?
Read more
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The truth about Nice Guys
March 17, 2008 by NML · 11 Comments
The dating world is a complicated one full of dodgy dates, misconceptions, and pigeon holing galore, and none more so than with the quintessential hard-done-by Mr Nice Guy. But…are ‘Nice Guys’ really that ‘nice’?
Trust me, it’s not because you’re the Nicest Guy On Earth™ why you can’t pick up women – it’s either because you’re barking up the wrong tree, you’re mistaking certain qualities or characteristics for ‘nice’ when they are actually hindrances, or you’re actually just not that nice.
I believe there are four types of ‘Nice Guy’:
Assclowns, Bastards, and Jerks in Nice Guy Clothing
Men have far bigger egos and more self-esteem than women, which means that they often do not see themselves as they really are. Even if they’re cheating, beating, stealing, and generally dishonest, these guys would STILL sit there and tell you what a great guy they are. There are so many forums full of disgruntled men that blame ‘bitches’ that love Bad Boys for everything that’s wrong with their universe who have decided that they’re not playing nice and they’ll sleep with prostitutes from now on…What’s so nice about this?
Quick solution: These men need to get real about who they are and stop fronting. Only then might they actually learn to deal with their assclown selves.
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