Shedding Tears for an Assclown
I recently spoke with a woman who had broken up with her boyfriend of a year a couple of months ago. He had been cheating on her for pretty much the majority of the relationship and she’d finally caught him out. When we caught up, she was still crying a lot and seemed really devastated which understandably you would be if you’d found out that your guy was a lowlife.
Baby 2…yep I’m pregnant
Hello Ladies (and gents)
I have been a bit awol on and off recently, not least because of server problems, juggling several blogs, an overflowing inbox, a toddler (who is sick at the moment) and a host of other things, but…I’m also pregnant again (about 4 months) and due in April. Yep…I’m pregnant again!
I’ve had a weird stomach bug which has taken me a couple of weeks to get over so between this and everything else, How To Lose An Assclown is a bit behind schedule but I will confirm a date next week.
Have a good weekend!
x
Meeting His Parents - Totally Overated…and possibly misleading
I have to say something that will scare a lot of women but the fact that you have been introduced to your date or boyfriends parents is not always an indicator of how much he is into you or the potential of the relationship. Why do I say this? The number of women who tell me that “His parents adore me!” or “But he introduced me to his mum!” or “He treats me like we’re in a relationship when we’re with his parents” and even “Surely a guy doesn’t introduce you to his parents if he’s not pretty serious about you?”
Ladies, just because a man introduces you to his parent(s) does not mean that the relationship is serious.
Server Move Complete - Apologies for down time!
Hello Peeps,
After more than 24 hours, the server move is complete although the new template has been lost so the new look site will be back on within the next hour. Apologies for the down time which has been super annoying and frustrating for me but unfortunately the sites database was deleted without my knowledge [...]
Site Update & Forum
Site Update
The site will be updated over the weekend with a tidying up of the template, overall appearance, and the categories so that the site can make way for things like the web groups which will be announced next week, along with the How to Lose an Assclown in 90 days book.
Don’t Indulge in the Blame & Shame Game
A few days ago, I spent about an hour catching up with one of my closest friends who lives overseas. Amongst the many things we have in common, we share a chequered dating past. Between the two of us we managed to date some really atrocious men! We’ve both had our dark moments and we both readily admit that it took quite a while to get over our worst choices and betrayals, but do you know what? We were in hysterics laughing as we ‘reminisced’.
In the past we’ve both been though the blaming ourselves or just feeling completely mortified that we would even have found ourselves in our situations, but the reactions whilst understandable to an extent, were a waste and if we had focused on those feelings, we’d never have moved forward.
Morphing: Trying to fit in too much with your man
Yesterday I wrote about common ground and how we have to be careful of placing too much emphasis on our belief that we have so much in common with a man, when in reality, if he’s not in the relationship with both feet or has already bolted, you don’t share the right common ground.
Because we find it all too easy to sideline ourselves, two things can happen that are dangerous:
But we have so much in common! That shaky ‘ole common ground in relationships
I was scanning my backlog of emails from readers looking for advice, most it about a chump that is totally not worth their while and I could not believe the number of women who said they had so much in common with their guys.
The sheer numbers of you that profess common interests like golf, reading, music, books, outdoors, cooking, eating, DIY (you doing work on his place for free whilst he actually treats you poorly), only seeing each other when it’s dark once a week, walking dogs, making you laugh, molecular science, and yada, yada, yada, is damn well terrifying.
When he tells you that he wants to break up versus when he treats you badly till YOU break up!
Whilst putting together chapters for my soon to be released book How to Lose An Assclown…in 90 Days and discussing the pain of breaking up, but us not wanting to let go and obsessing about it, I noted that two situations are prevalent when it comes to break ups that we can’t move on from:
He tells you up straight up that it’s not working and he doesn’t want the relationship to continue.
He has failed to see the value of you or the potential in the relationship so he doesn’t want to try and he doesn’t see a reason to try and work things out. You tend to be caught off guard and want to ‘work’ at it.
Relationship Advice: What if he’s just not that into me instead of being Mr Unavailable?
Jane asks: What if he wasn’t a Mr Unavailable? What if he wasn’t really into me? I know I shouldn’t think about his reasons for dumping me and focus only on me but the uncertainty really haunts me.
We were together for almost a year and since the beginning he was kind of weird, because he would pursue me for a couple of days act as we were a couple and then disappear or act like a friend. Even though he disappeared we spent most of our times together. I never pursued him or anything, it was all his work. He took me to met his family (as a friend) so I know he wasn’t dating any one else, and I spent a lot of time in his house with his mom and nieces. He always wanted to take things slow, even the sex part of our relationship. He was extremely sweet those days he felt like being a couple, so he wasn’t all so bad.
