I swear he drank, womanized, smoked and was a divorcee. Quite the package really. He would have multiple girlfriends at a time, be seeing two women at one time, who happened to be best friends or sisters. Had a terrible temper.

That was until he met my mum. Now my mum was innocent, sweet, loyal, kind caring and had a great heart. She had never had a boyfriend before and she was working for his parents in a restaurant as a waiter and they loved her.

Neways they started dating. Obviously in the end they go married. But all i can say is that my dad has cant stand alcohol anymore, has been completely faithful to my mum and has been one of the best dads i could ever ask for. He stopped smoking ( cold turkey) when he found out my older brother was being born and hasn’t touched a cigarette since.

Now im not saying that all this change was done over night and im not saying that it was my mum that insigated it.

I just saying that .. hey sometimes these things happen. Sometimes you meet someone and they bring out the best in you.

You cant force people to change, you have to accept them as they are. My mum did that .. and i rekon that she found a diamond in the rough.

Hot Alpha Female

http://www.hotalpahfemale.blogspot.com

I’m still hoping a particular bastard (qualifying as such in the mental/emotional abuse category, with his desires to cut me off from friends, his disproportionate fury at: my independent decision-making, my seeing friends, my being in the wrong place (a party) at the wrong time, my wanting love when he came home from long days at work, my wanting support surrounding surgical procedures, etc.) will come around. I’m desperately hoping. I left him – moved out – for all the above reasons, and because I was too tempted to cheat for it to be healthy. Now, knowing nothing of that temptation (only knowing the above reasons), he has come forward with commitments to therapy and to becoming this more compassionate, receptive, and loving character, I thought he was capable of it all before, but had that trust broken.
AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! It is all to terrible for words, I feel he’ll certainly revert again, but spending time with him and I’m being tempted to forgive all the bastardly deeds. Plus…I have doubts that all his scorn for my party friends is even bastardly…some of them are a bit out of control and maybe I SHOULD diminish the time I spend with them for my own health?!
When the abusive-seeming actions might not just be abuse, when I feel like they might be productive ideas that I should comprimise on…it’s so hard to distinguish whether I should trust or not.

open wide
Is it giving in when you hold her?
Are you rationing a kiss
While you estimate the damage it does?
Do you retreat when she looks happy?
Is it still a crime to be content?
Do you rein in a smile before it can spread?

If I drove by your house tonight,
What would I find?
Would all the lights be on?
Would all your doors be open wide?

Do you economize with compliments?
Do you let her catch you when you stare?
Do you push, then pull
Let her push, then pull again?
Are you chalking in your borders?
Hosing them down again at night?
Do you issue the same dark warning?

If I drove by your house tonight,
What would I find?
Would all your lights be on?
Would all your doors be open wide?

And does it come easy now?
Does it spill out?
And did she crack you open somehow?

If I drove by your house tonight,
What would I find?
Would all your lights be on?
Would all your doors be open wide?

‘if I see you in 6 months walking down the street with a pregnant 25yr old I will punch you both out’…lol
of course I was kidding (well mostly) but it is a true feeling. and you can’t help but blame yourself a bit. you know, if I was only more understanding, more patient, a better gf etc etc. fact of the matter is, there are jerks everywhere. I am sure that some of your best male friends have been spoken about this way as well, but you know a different side to them. The old, two sides to every story nugget. I have always resisted the ‘timing’ excuse in relationships gone awry, but maybe there is something to it, as NML states above…this article has been spinning in my head for the past couple of hours, and I even think that it has made me see things from a whole different perspective.
as usual , NML, great article!