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A NYC based magazine ‘The New Monogamy’ is promoting the premise that marriages are becoming more and more open and that agreed upon cheating will stop the marriage from flatlining and either party
straying any further.
“In this view, as long as each spouse “sluts around” (their words, not ours) within the boundaries deemed acceptable by both parties (rules range from just kissing to engaging in full-blown orgies), they aren’t actually cheating.â€
Now we all know that cheating is quite a prevalent issue, and being monogamous for some is as foreign as telling the truth for them, so is this the way the modern marriage is headed?
How far do we intend to widen our yardstick to accommodate previously unacceptable behaviour? Are we so desperate for monogamy and to be part of a couple that we will change the meaning of monogamy to suit our agenda?
My view is that if I start allowing a stray BJ here, a snog there, a hand job here, it’s all a matter of time before I really have nothing left at all. For me, what is the point in being in so called monogamous relationship if I have to say ‘What’s a
shag between us?’ I know we don’t live in a perfect world, shit happens and bla, bla, bla, but when did we become so desperate that we’re now prepared to let each other shag around for the sake of the marriage? I know that both parties in this arrangement are free to act within the agreed boundaries, but like every situation where you have one of these
dubious arrangements, one person is all for it and the other one doesn’t want it as much of them and is going along.
This whole marriage with benefits farce is the fancy way of saying ‘threesome’, ’swinging’, ’orgy’, ’foursome’, ’date parties’ and much more. Unless you’ve both been doing these things as part of your relationship, this could come as a big shocker to someone who thinks that they’re in a happy marriage. Seems to me that this type of arrangement can only work with both people being unhappy with the relationship, but then, don’t we all have different ways of feeling
unhappy and different ways of coping with it? It’s all a bit fruity for me!
So what’s your view?
Read via iVillage.com
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Prescription for big hurt. Someone WILL be hurt by this arrangement. Most probably it will be one of the women. Women, by our very biology, bond with our sexual partners in a way in which men do not. It’s easy to say you’ll go along with this sort of arrangement, think of yourself as ”modern” or whatever. It is entirely another thing to live it. BIG HURT
This is the sort of relationship my Married Man has with his wife… And Yes, as far as I can see, it is a recipe for destruction. People over estimate their capacity for being truly loving, honest, and open… And keeping their emotions within boundaries.
We are human beings, not robots.
Love often leads to sex and vice versa…
And yes, many of the partners do not agree on this equally… And that is the person who will most likely be hurt, in the end. The spouse who is going along will be hurt, or the third wheel partner….
Actually, all will be hurt, in the end.