Agreed Upon Cheating - ‘The New Monogamy’

February 23, 2006 by NML

A NYC based magazine ‘The New Monogamy’ is promoting the premise that marriages are becoming more and more open and that agreed upon cheating will stop the marriage from flatlining and either party
straying any further.

“In this view, as long as each spouse “sluts around” (their words, not ours) within the boundaries deemed acceptable by both parties (rules range from just kissing to engaging in full-blown orgies), they aren’t actually cheating.”

Now we all know that cheating is quite a prevalent issue, and being monogamous for some is as foreign as telling the truth for them, so is this the way the modern marriage is headed?

How far do we intend to widen our yardstick to accommodate previously unacceptable behaviour? Are we so desperate for monogamy and to be part of a couple that we will change the meaning of monogamy to suit our agenda?
My view is that if I start allowing a stray BJ here, a snog there, a hand job here, it’s all a matter of time before I really have nothing left at all. For me, what is the point in being in so called monogamous relationship if I have to say ‘What’s a
shag between us?’ I know we don’t live in a perfect world, shit happens and bla, bla, bla, but when did we become so desperate that we’re now prepared to let each other shag around for the sake of the marriage? I know that both parties in this arrangement are free to act within the agreed boundaries, but like every situation where you have one of these
dubious arrangements, one person is all for it and the other one doesn’t want it as much of them and is going along.
This whole marriage with benefits farce is the fancy way of saying ‘threesome’, ’swinging’, ’orgy’, ’foursome’, ’date parties’ and much more. Unless you’ve both been doing these things as part of your relationship, this could come as a big shocker to someone who thinks that they’re in a happy marriage. Seems to me that this type of arrangement can only work with both people being unhappy with the relationship, but then, don’t we all have different ways of feeling
unhappy and different ways of coping with it? It’s all a bit fruity for me!
So what’s your view?
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