Annoying Things Women Do in a Relationship
We all dream of the perfect relationship, where everyday you wake to sunlight, birds singing, rolling over to the perfect face of our woman looking angelic in the morning light, seeing them open their eyes, mouth breaking into a perfect smile at the sight of us, kissing softly, no morning breath, just our favourite tastes and smells…
Hey! Snap out of it! It’s just not reality, is it? We all know what the reality is, I don’t think I need to describe it. These are the things we live with, accept and sometimes perhaps even learn to love. No, these aren’t the things that annoy us.
These are, my Top 3 Things Women Do In A Relationship:
1 “Nothing.”
That indecipherable answer to questions such as “What have I done?” and “What’s wrong?”
We’re not stupid, us men, despite our efforts to have women sometimes believe otherwise. We know there’s something wrong or that we’ve messed up in some way. Of course we do, because women are at pains to let us know through body language and silence.
While the answer “nothing” is annoying, what follows is worse for us men. Now here we are, stuck between a rock and a hard place. Which is exactly where you wanted us, of course!
The question is, do we push the issue, knowing it will lead to an explosion of proportions only women are capable of, or do we hold our counsel, knowing it will only delay the inevitable and lead to accusations of thoughtlessness and lack of understanding? Do we ask again, incurring the wrath of our partner but getting ‘it’ out in the open, whatever ‘it’ is, or do we keep it shut, let it fester until it eventually comes out at a later hour, day, week…or month?
So come on ladies…don’t say “Nothing.” Tell us. After all, we only want the chance to try and put things right.
2 “It goes there!”
A man is, for the most part, an orderly creature. A logical being. Very much fond of routine and familiarity. Not necessarily tidy, certainly not known for cleanliness in many instances. But for most of us ‘a place for everything, everything in its place’ is a motto we hold to. Women, however, seem incapable of grasping this relatively simple – and extremely useful – concept. When women arrive home from work the handbag ends up in the middle of the living room floor, the jacket on the back of the chair against the wall. When they bring in the post some of it ends up on the coffee table, some of it on the sofa, and whatever she opens is strewn about the floor, discarded envelope and all.
There’s no rhyme or reason to this placing of things, no logic to it. Indeed, it changes on a daily basis, a completely random act. One day the jacket may be on the sofa, the post down the back! And who tidies it all up? The man. The jacket gets hung up, the handbag placed neatly in plain view but out of the way, the post opened, piled neatly where it can be found, the envelopes in the bin. Simple enough. Here’s the annoying part – when the woman wants her jacket/handbag/mail. All of a sudden any or all of these items have vanished, sucked into another world.
Example:
“Where’s my jacket?”
“Hung up.”
“Where?”
“In the <insert your coat storing option here>.”
“What’s it doing there?”
“It goes there!”
“Well, how was I supposed to find it there?”
“I dunno - look?”
This type of conversation is usually shortly followed by a “Nothing.”…
And last, but by no means least:
3 Candles, cushions and lilac headboards
There you were, happily meandering through life, going to the pub, to the football, out on the town, staying in with mates, beer, a deck of cards and some good music, whatever it is that takes your fancy as a single bloke.
Then you meet a woman and suddenly life is that much better. Things go well, you compromise your life slightly to accommodate her but to no great detrimental effect on your social life. But then you make the mistake of moving in with her…and strange things happen.
Your bed, once a haven with a simple duvet and a couple of pillows suddenly becomes buried in cushions, more pillows, a throw and a few teddy bears. Every available, formerly clutter-free, surface finds itself adorned with a candle or five, usually of various and conflicting scents. And then the killer…you buy a new bed (because let’s face it, you’ve had yours for so long it now resembles a gutter in shape and comfort).
Bed shopping is not the domain of the male of the species. It’s right up there, if not above, clothes shopping. So we just nod, “yeah, that’ll be fine, love” and a week later this monstrosity with a lilac headboard is delivered. How we wished we’d paid attention…
So we end up buried in cushions, choked by candles, gazing up at a lilac headboard, telling our women where their belongings are and dreading the “nothing” which we know is coming. And why? Because women are bloody annoying creatures. But we love you anyway. In spite of and because of these things. So don’t stop, while we might moan about these annoying things you do, we couldn’t live without them.
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