Comments on: Attraction: 4 key things that make you attractive…or unattractive… http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/attraction-4-key-things-that-make-you-attractiveor-unattractive/ Self Esteem|Dating|Relationships|Emotional Unavailability|Commitment| Thu, 18 Mar 2010 17:10:36 +0100 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Brad K. http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/attraction-4-key-things-that-make-you-attractiveor-unattractive/comment-page-1/#comment-237604 Brad K. Fri, 07 Aug 2009 18:48:44 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/attraction-4-key-things-that-make-you-attractiveor-unattractive/#comment-237604 @ Millionaire Matchmaker, I have read that what you say is true - that being and appearing confident opens doors and reaps rewards. So, how does someone feel confident when those around them belittle and abuse them? How do you appear confident when you are afraid of upsetting someone in your household? How do you get dangerous people out of your life when you don't feel in control? How do you guide yourself from misery and depression to "The sun will come out tomorrow??" How do you explain to someone alone and hurting that they need healing and rebuilding, that simply getting introduced to a millionaire or other attractive mate won't solve all the problems, all the excess baggage? Just guessing from your name, Millionaire Matchmaker, and looking at the sunny post - this seems more like a promotional blog entry for yourself. And it almost looks like you failed to identify who your audience is, or what we need most. Thanks for the ray of sunshine, though! @ Millionaire Matchmaker,

I have read that what you say is true – that being and appearing confident opens doors and reaps rewards.

So, how does someone feel confident when those around them belittle and abuse them? How do you appear confident when you are afraid of upsetting someone in your household? How do you get dangerous people out of your life when you don’t feel in control?

How do you guide yourself from misery and depression to “The sun will come out tomorrow??”

How do you explain to someone alone and hurting that they need healing and rebuilding, that simply getting introduced to a millionaire or other attractive mate won’t solve all the problems, all the excess baggage?

Just guessing from your name, Millionaire Matchmaker, and looking at the sunny post – this seems more like a promotional blog entry for yourself. And it almost looks like you failed to identify who your audience is, or what we need most.

Thanks for the ray of sunshine, though!

]]> By: Millionaire Matchmaker http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/attraction-4-key-things-that-make-you-attractiveor-unattractive/comment-page-1/#comment-237595 Millionaire Matchmaker Fri, 07 Aug 2009 16:34:42 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/attraction-4-key-things-that-make-you-attractiveor-unattractive/#comment-237595 Excellent Article, I really enjoyed reading you post! It's all about self confidence, being positive and making the best out of yourself. If you come off as confident, to people, more importantly, you come off as confident to your ideal match. Confident people are mostly happy and content people, and you will attract people, without even thinking about it. Excellent Article, I really enjoyed reading you post!

It’s all about self confidence, being positive and making the best out of yourself. If you come off as confident, to people, more importantly, you come off as confident to your ideal match. Confident people are mostly happy and content people, and you will attract people, without even thinking about it.

]]> By: Lisa http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/attraction-4-key-things-that-make-you-attractiveor-unattractive/comment-page-1/#comment-233609 Lisa Sat, 04 Jul 2009 19:43:53 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/attraction-4-key-things-that-make-you-attractiveor-unattractive/#comment-233609 I've been saying for years that the sexiest thing in the world is a very smart, funny man. And, I've been looking for a man who feels them same about women. Throw in creativity, similar interests, an easy honesty & a lack of game playing and you've got perfection. My friends (most of them are male) tell me I'm too smart for the average Joe. While many men seem to be attracted to me, they become intimidated rather quickly. Which leaves the self assured, smart, funny men (who are few and far between). That's OK, I've been patient, and finally found that perfect man, who I personally think is gorgeous (unfortunately he lives 3000 miles away). Hopefully that will change some day. I'm not saying looks don't matter especially at first, but they become secondary very quickly. Sexual attraction (for me at least) is mostly mental. I’ve been saying for years that the sexiest thing in the world is a very smart, funny man. And, I’ve been looking for a man who feels them same about women. Throw in creativity, similar interests, an easy honesty & a lack of game playing and you’ve got perfection. My friends (most of them are male) tell me I’m too smart for the average Joe. While many men seem to be attracted to me, they become intimidated rather quickly. Which leaves the self assured, smart, funny men (who are few and far between). That’s OK, I’ve been patient, and finally found that perfect man, who I personally think is gorgeous (unfortunately he lives 3000 miles away). Hopefully that will change some day.

I’m not saying looks don’t matter especially at first, but they become secondary very quickly. Sexual attraction (for me at least) is mostly mental.

]]> By: Janet http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/attraction-4-key-things-that-make-you-attractiveor-unattractive/comment-page-1/#comment-230979 Janet Mon, 15 Jun 2009 00:39:24 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/attraction-4-key-things-that-make-you-attractiveor-unattractive/#comment-230979 Great Blog: Mistecha: I too am middle aged (50) and take good care of myself. I workout, eat healthy, have my own money and I consider myself a pretty decent catch. I tried the online thingy for a while and I got the same thing. Lots of first dates but no 2nd 3rd or you know. I had lots of men fade. I was the same way on dates, I was nice and polite, didn't bring up exes and most of the time felt the chemistry was there. Obviously not on their end. The definition of insanity is doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results. Once I stopped the online dating, overanalyzing and wondering what I did wrong, I'm a lot happier. So I get lonely sometimes and I wish I had a mate but I can't force it to happen. I surf, do some volunteer work, stay politically active (am involved in some group) and hope for the best. Great Blog:

Mistecha: I too am middle aged (50) and take good care of myself. I workout, eat healthy, have my own money and I consider myself a pretty decent catch.

I tried the online thingy for a while and I got the same thing. Lots of first dates but no 2nd 3rd or you know. I had lots of men fade. I was the same way on dates, I was nice and polite, didn’t bring up exes and most of the time felt the chemistry was there. Obviously not on their end.

The definition of insanity is doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results. Once I stopped the online dating, overanalyzing and wondering what I did wrong, I’m a lot happier.

So I get lonely sometimes and I wish I had a mate but I can’t force it to happen. I surf, do some volunteer work, stay politically active (am involved in some group) and hope for the best.

]]> By: aphrogirl http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/attraction-4-key-things-that-make-you-attractiveor-unattractive/comment-page-1/#comment-225780 aphrogirl Tue, 05 May 2009 02:46:12 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/attraction-4-key-things-that-make-you-attractiveor-unattractive/#comment-225780 Mistechal I am also a middle aged woman with many positive qualities and yet, for whatever reason, I am not trying to meet a man. I figure if someone ends up in my life I'll take it from there. Since I am recovering from a my first odd EUM encounter, late in life, I certainly will be aware of the signs so as to never get involved in that scenario again. I am sure there are some good guys on dating sites, but the middle aged men I know who who have tried it are looking for easy, no trouble women, usually for fun. One man I know actually gleefully described online dating as being in a candy store. I was stunned, it sounded so juvenile. Obviously if these guys you meet say things are great and they can't wait to see you again....and then don't....they are not exactly men of their word. NIce that you found this out early on, I think dishonesty is one of the trademarks of the EUM. Either their original words of interest were not true, or they don't have the guts to speak their truth and let you know they are not interested in developing a relationship. I bet some don't really know what they are hoping to find. I would not take their behavior personally at all. No need to be validated by guys who make glib statements of intent and flake. My guess is you might be a bit too mature for the fun and games many of them are looking for. I also bet your confidence is a bit intimidating to some. In my book there is nothing to be done about any of that. I don't know why but I cannot imagine trying to meet someone from a dating site. For whatever reason, maybe hope and faith, I fully expect that I will meet a good man in the normal course of my day to day life events, without trying. Just keep doing what you love, be kind to yourself and to others, and don't let " fading" men influence your good opinion of you. Mistechal

I am also a middle aged woman with many positive qualities and yet, for whatever reason, I am not trying to meet a man. I figure if someone ends up in my life I’ll take it from there. Since I am recovering from a my first odd EUM encounter, late in life, I certainly will be aware of the signs so as to never get involved in that scenario again.

I am sure there are some good guys on dating sites, but the middle aged men I know who who have tried it are looking for easy, no trouble women, usually for fun. One man I know actually gleefully described online dating as being in a candy store. I was stunned, it sounded so juvenile.

Obviously if these guys you meet say things are great and they can’t wait to see you again….and then don’t….they are not exactly men of their word. NIce that you found this out early on, I think dishonesty is one of the trademarks of the EUM. Either their original words of interest were not true, or they don’t have the guts to speak their truth and let you know they are not interested in developing a relationship. I bet some don’t really know what they are hoping to find.

I would not take their behavior personally at all. No need to be validated by guys who make glib statements of intent and flake. My guess is you might be a bit too mature for the fun and games many of them are looking for. I also bet your confidence is a bit intimidating to some. In my book there is nothing to be done about any of that.

I don’t know why but I cannot imagine trying to meet someone from a dating site. For whatever reason, maybe hope and faith, I fully expect that I will meet a good man in the normal course of my day to day life events, without trying.

Just keep doing what you love, be kind to yourself and to others, and don’t let ” fading” men influence your good opinion of you.

]]> By: mistechal http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/attraction-4-key-things-that-make-you-attractiveor-unattractive/comment-page-1/#comment-225775 mistechal Tue, 05 May 2009 01:19:51 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/attraction-4-key-things-that-make-you-attractiveor-unattractive/#comment-225775 I am a middle aged woman who has been working very hard with personal growth issues over the past few years. Reading tons of books, seeing a therapist. I am also very well kept, I can afford the latest fashions, dress well, am immaculate. I also am very pretty, great figure, well educated, and have loads of my own money. I am strong, independent, accomplished and do NOT come across as desperate or needy. I golf , paint, can fix almost anything, and am an accomplished dressage rider. I can't get past a coffee date. Like I said, I have read all of the books, and all of the other books on how to ace a first date. I don't dwell on me, but am receptive to questions asked. I don't ask things about their financial status, but more about what they love or don't love about their work, I ask about sports and hobbies, favorite books or movies. Neutral, first date type of stuff, I never mention the ex or his ex and I am also a very optimistic happy personality. So, I just don't get it? If I fellow likes me enough from reading an on line profile at a dating site, and is interested enough to ask me out after a few emails , then why do I never hear from them again? ( Yes , I offer to pay for my 1/2) I should also add, that I don't just go for the gorgeous guys, or guys half my age, but I am receptive to any fellow who can use spell check, and isn't living with his 'ex wife". From talking with girlfriends , a lot of this sort of thing goes on. It's called 'the fade' . The tell you that they really like you, want to see you again, then nothing. I just don't think this many men can be unavailable, there must be something else going on here that I just can't figure out. Seriously, I am a nice , normal, very pretty, intelligent woman, who has a good number of girlfriends, and makes friends easily in social circles, so I don't think it's something I'm doing wrong, but I am open for suggestions, perhaps I am doing something wrong? I am about to give up on dating altogether, it's just so demoralizing and batters the self esteem. I have had one long term abusive marriage, and a heartbreaking stint with a Mr unavailable, ( hence the years of therapy) and just when I thought I was ready to try again, I come up against this issue. ( I'm not talking one or two guys, but multitude) Lastly, how can a fellow decide that I am not date worthy by spending 20 minutes with me in a coffee shop? Any thoughts? I am a middle aged woman who has been working very hard with personal growth issues over the past few years. Reading tons of books, seeing a therapist. I am also very well kept, I can afford the latest fashions, dress well, am immaculate. I also am very pretty, great figure, well educated, and have loads of my own money. I am strong, independent, accomplished and do NOT come across as desperate or needy. I golf , paint, can fix almost anything, and am an accomplished dressage rider.
I can’t get past a coffee date.
Like I said, I have read all of the books, and all of the other books on how to ace a first date. I don’t dwell on me, but am receptive to questions asked. I don’t ask things about their financial status, but more about what they love or don’t love about their work, I ask about sports and hobbies, favorite books or movies. Neutral, first date type of stuff, I never mention the ex or his ex and I am also a very optimistic happy personality. So, I just don’t get it? If I fellow likes me enough from reading an on line profile at a dating site, and is interested enough to ask me out after a few emails , then why do I never hear from them again? ( Yes , I offer to pay for my 1/2) I should also add, that I don’t just go for the gorgeous guys, or guys half my age, but I am receptive to any fellow who can use spell check, and isn’t living with his ‘ex wife”.
From talking with girlfriends , a lot of this sort of thing goes on. It’s called ‘the fade’ . The tell you that they really like you, want to see you again, then nothing. I just don’t think this many men can be unavailable, there must be something else going on here that I just can’t figure out. Seriously, I am a nice , normal, very pretty, intelligent woman, who has a good number of girlfriends, and makes friends easily in social circles, so I don’t think it’s something I’m doing wrong, but I am open for suggestions, perhaps I am doing something wrong? I am about to give up on dating altogether, it’s just so demoralizing and batters the self esteem. I have had one long term abusive marriage, and a heartbreaking stint with a Mr unavailable, ( hence the years of therapy) and just when I thought I was ready to try again, I come up against this issue. ( I’m not talking one or two guys, but multitude) Lastly, how can a fellow decide that I am not date worthy by spending 20 minutes with me in a coffee shop?
Any thoughts?

]]> By: NML http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/attraction-4-key-things-that-make-you-attractiveor-unattractive/comment-page-1/#comment-216298 NML Sat, 07 Feb 2009 21:16:28 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/attraction-4-key-things-that-make-you-attractiveor-unattractive/#comment-216298 Hi Everyone. Due to a technical fault with the previous service which notifies you by email when I publish a new post, I have had to move to a new provider. The error means you will now need to sign up to the <a href="http://www.feedblitz.com/f/?Sub=523558" rel="nofollow">Feedblitz service</a> if you want to start receiving emails again. Apologies for any inconvenience caused. Thanks Natalie/NML Hi Everyone. Due to a technical fault with the previous service which notifies you by email when I publish a new post, I have had to move to a new provider. The error means you will now need to sign up to the Feedblitz service if you want to start receiving emails again. Apologies for any inconvenience caused. Thanks Natalie/NML

]]> By: RES http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/attraction-4-key-things-that-make-you-attractiveor-unattractive/comment-page-1/#comment-214390 RES Sat, 24 Jan 2009 02:02:30 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/attraction-4-key-things-that-make-you-attractiveor-unattractive/#comment-214390 Every time I read this, I still have to nod my head in complete agreement. I'm learning that POSITIVE WOMEN HAVE POSITIVE RELATIONSHIPS. I'll always be responsible for my own happiness regardless of whether or not I find a partner! Just as good the second time around! Thanks, NML! Every time I read this, I still have to nod my head in complete agreement. I’m learning that POSITIVE WOMEN HAVE POSITIVE RELATIONSHIPS. I’ll always be responsible for my own happiness regardless of whether or not I find a partner! Just as good the second time around! Thanks, NML!

]]> By: Arlena http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/attraction-4-key-things-that-make-you-attractiveor-unattractive/comment-page-1/#comment-214387 Arlena Sat, 24 Jan 2009 01:25:29 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/attraction-4-key-things-that-make-you-attractiveor-unattractive/#comment-214387 Hi David Pleches, your link is invalid, unfortunately. Do you know another way to the recommended site? Hi David Pleches,

your link is invalid, unfortunately.
Do you know another way to the recommended site?

]]> By: How to Get the Girl…Advice for the Men. | 20-forty.com http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/attraction-4-key-things-that-make-you-attractiveor-unattractive/comment-page-1/#comment-213743 How to Get the Girl…Advice for the Men. | 20-forty.com Sun, 18 Jan 2009 12:16:21 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/attraction-4-key-things-that-make-you-attractiveor-unattractive/#comment-213743 [...] Nick Sparks: Blogger Roundtable Hot Alpha Female: The Power of A Magnetic Personality Natalie Lue: Attraction: 4 Things That Make You Attractive…or Unattractive… Natalie Lue @ Ask Dan & Jennifer: Top Ten Tips for Dressing For Dating Success Hot Alpha Female [...] [...] Nick Sparks: Blogger Roundtable Hot Alpha Female: The Power of A Magnetic Personality Natalie Lue: Attraction: 4 Things That Make You Attractive…or Unattractive… Natalie Lue @ Ask Dan & Jennifer: Top Ten Tips for Dressing For Dating Success Hot Alpha Female [...]

]]> By: How to Get the Guy…Advice for the Ladies. | 20-forty.com http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/attraction-4-key-things-that-make-you-attractiveor-unattractive/comment-page-1/#comment-213741 How to Get the Guy…Advice for the Ladies. | 20-forty.com Sun, 18 Jan 2009 12:09:34 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/attraction-4-key-things-that-make-you-attractiveor-unattractive/#comment-213741 [...] Nick Sparks: Blogger Roundtable Hot Alpha Female: The Power of A Magnetic Personality Natalie Lue: Attraction: 4 Things That Make You Attractive…or Unattractive… Natalie Lue @ Ask Dan & Jennifer: Top Ten Tips for Dressing For Dating Success Hot Alpha Female [...] [...] Nick Sparks: Blogger Roundtable Hot Alpha Female: The Power of A Magnetic Personality Natalie Lue: Attraction: 4 Things That Make You Attractive…or Unattractive… Natalie Lue @ Ask Dan & Jennifer: Top Ten Tips for Dressing For Dating Success Hot Alpha Female [...]

]]> By: Helen http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/attraction-4-key-things-that-make-you-attractiveor-unattractive/comment-page-1/#comment-213270 Helen Wed, 14 Jan 2009 00:21:12 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/attraction-4-key-things-that-make-you-attractiveor-unattractive/#comment-213270 I'd agree. 1) Physically making the most of what you have (men are visual) 2) Self-confidence (forget anyone who tries to knock yours repeatedly) 3) Positivity I’d agree.
1) Physically making the most of what you have (men are visual)
2) Self-confidence (forget anyone who tries to knock yours repeatedly)
3) Positivity

]]> By: RES http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/attraction-4-key-things-that-make-you-attractiveor-unattractive/comment-page-1/#comment-196836 RES Fri, 31 Oct 2008 22:08:28 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/attraction-4-key-things-that-make-you-attractiveor-unattractive/#comment-196836 Amen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Amen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

]]> By: jeena http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/attraction-4-key-things-that-make-you-attractiveor-unattractive/comment-page-1/#comment-138431 jeena Mon, 10 Mar 2008 23:17:18 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/attraction-4-key-things-that-make-you-attractiveor-unattractive/#comment-138431 Let's get real, I'm middle aged and live in Metro New York. The 4 key things that make a female attractive to a single male in my city are: money, money, money, and money! The divorced males in my city are looking to recoup the cash their ex's took in the divorce settlement. Girls, be my guest, pay for these gold diggers while their ex's live the good life and I enjoy my retirement years alone and peaceful with no selfish male to take care of or cause me problems! Let’s get real, I’m middle aged and live in Metro New York. The 4 key things that make a female attractive to a single male in my city are: money, money, money, and money! The divorced males in my city are looking to recoup the cash their ex’s took in the divorce settlement. Girls, be my guest, pay for these gold diggers while their ex’s live the good life and I enjoy my retirement years alone and peaceful with no selfish male to take care of or cause me problems!

]]> By: Hot Alpha Female » Blog Archive » Why Don’t You date Youself?! - The Power Of A Magnetic Personality http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/attraction-4-key-things-that-make-you-attractiveor-unattractive/comment-page-1/#comment-138008 Hot Alpha Female » Blog Archive » Why Don’t You date Youself?! - The Power Of A Magnetic Personality Sun, 09 Mar 2008 11:43:06 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/attraction-4-key-things-that-make-you-attractiveor-unattractive/#comment-138008 [...] Natalie Lue: 4 key things that make you attractive…or unattractive [...] [...] Natalie Lue: 4 key things that make you attractive…or unattractive [...]

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