“Attraction” from Tales of the Inexpressible
November 15, 2005 by Jason
Jason from Tales of the Inexpressible gets this weeks nomination for his insightful post on how and why we attract the types of people that we do. This essay critically evaluates how we end up finding the wrong type of love because we are looking for the wrong type of person, or in the wrong place.
Attraction
You attract what you are, not what you want.
What a powerful concept. To let logic follow through: If we want to find what we are looking for, we must first become what we are looking for. Wow. You mean to tell me that you’re not going to find a guy who wants to settle down and start a family at a rave? You mean you’re not going to find a nice girl you can bring home to mom at a strip bar? Exactly.
I can’t tell you how many people I see living the old cliche of looking for love in all the wrong places. First of all, I believe that true love hits you when you least expect it. It never fails. You search for months for mr/mrs right, and as soon as you stop looking is when they fall right in your lap.
The key is to just live your life. Work on finding yourself and the partner will come. I truly believe that to find cool people you have to do cool things. Learn how to hang glide, take an art class, do a local play, learn a second language. Work on bettering yourself and the opportunities to meet someone special will surely present themselves. Because the best things in life happen when we’re busy making other plans.
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[...] So here’s a few more thoughts on my last article on attraction. I was thinking about another quote today (what a surprise) and I thought about how closely it relates to the earlier article. The quote is “If you’re doing what you’ve always done, then you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.” So as I thought about all of the people who “look for love in all the wrong places,” I thought about how to further guide these wayward hearts to true and lasting love. Sometimes we have to break out of our comfort zones and try something a little different. I can’t help but think of the Seinfeld episode where George does the exact opposite of what he would normally do for an entire day. The results will probably surprise you. [...]