Guest Post: The Dating Duenna
May 5, 2008 by Brad K · 10 Comments
Brad K has a thoughtful but still rather entertaining take on reinstating a chaperone for dates…
A duenna, according to my Funk & Wagnalls (dictionary, that is), is a lady who watches over a family’s daughter; a chaperone to a young lady.
What better way to avoid drama, than to bring a reliable coach and chaperone when you date?
Ok, stop laughing. Think about this. Take someone with you who has a vested interest in preserving your virtue. You can avoid unwanted or unseemly sexual or social compromises. But especially, you have someone to watch you and especially to observer and evaluate him.
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Guest post: But, is he happy?
April 25, 2008 by Brad K · Leave a Comment
Brad K explains how in essence, drama reduces communication in a relationship and essentially, are you both happy and are you good for each other?
Is he as happy as he was when you met? Is he as content, as secure emotionally? Are you?
The people around us should improve, if we are good for them. We should be enabling them to grow, to be secure and happy, to be of service to themselves and others.
When the drama builds, when the relationship doesn’t seem to be going anywhere ask “Am I getting more secure, more content, more sure of myself?” If the answer is “Yes!” then give the guy a hug, and skip this message.
So I assume there is a problem. Ideally, each day, each encounter with a significant other, should add another layer of trust, respect, of contentment. I won’t say much about ‘in a rut’ or ‘we aren’t growing’, since so many cosmetic companies, magazines, books, and professionals make a living shamelessly convincing ordinary, happy people that their lives are incomplete without *their* wonder product or advice. So being unhappy about being *just* content is a valid complaint, sometimes, but more often a problem is invented to sell a product. It gets difficult to separate the problems from the marketing debris.
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Guest post: You gotta have friends and you gotta have respect
April 23, 2008 by Brad K · 20 Comments
Today on day 24 of the 30 Days of Drama Reduction series, Brad K offers up an empowering and highly insightful perspective of having friends and now allowing disrespect…..
When you find yourself in the midst of disaster, when you are hurt by those you trusted, do you keep the drama in, and avoid letting anyone see your plight? Or do you have friends, a trusted companion outside the betrayals in your life? Then as the drama unfolds for the world to see, maybe someone will cry “Uncle!” for you, and bring help.
When you met him, you didn’t understand about respect.
You didn’t notice whether he was wooing you with pretty words and attention that meant respect or a mere recipe to get to into your knickers. And you may not have appreciated what you might not have learned – that disrespect always gets worse, until someone gets hurt.
Even now, you might not recognize that one of the underlying disconnects that isolates you from love and affection is living with someone that doesn’t respect you (or probably themselves or others). Call him emotionally unavailable – he certainly doesn’t care about what you have to offer; only what he can take.
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