Guest Post: The ‘C’ Word: Closure
July 30, 2008 by Cheekie · 10 Comments
In a guest post from the wonderful Cheekie, she explains how taking control of the drama when she was recently faced with seeing her ex has been liberating…
CLOSURE.
The biggie. The one we all strive, cry, yearn, wheedle and whine for.
Be it a long term relationship that went south or a Mr Unavailable that disappeared. We need it.
And sometimes, as strong as we may be (or think we are) we can’t always get that final nail in that coffin of a relationship without some kind of catalyst.
So, what happens when you are faced with the devil himself, the man that has tormented your thoughts for years? Does the very thought of running into him send your heart racing and your stomach flipflopping?
Of course it does, that’s natural. Completely normal and to be expected.
We don’t have control over what they might say or do, and that kills us.
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Guest post: Drama Demons…
April 17, 2008 by Cheekie · 20 Comments
On Day 18 of the 30 Days of Drama Reduction series, Cheekie adds her own brand of humour about harnessing the Drama Seeking Demon within…
Funny thing, drama, no matter how much we have (or create) in our life we have this bizarre tendency to create more from it…
It’s like a warren of fuzzy bunnies, reproducing itself exponentially.
Yes, I am talking about the tendency amongst Drama Seekers to mountain out of molehill everything. Once a crisis hits, suddenly EVERYTHING becomes a crisis.
For example, let’s say you have a crapper of a day at work. Then you get home and your ‘boy’ doesn’t call. Well suddenly the Drama Demons come out to play.
And you have invited them.
The world sucks, your job sucks, your relationship sucks, no one loves you.
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Guest post: Passion…or Drama?
April 16, 2008 by Cheekie · 10 Comments
On Day 17 of the 30 Days of Drama Reduction series, Cheekie makes a clear distinction between passion and Drama with a capital D…
Mmmm passion…who doesn’t love, crave, indeed live for it?
That handsome, rakish man who is going to sweep us off our wee toes and make love to us in the rain and then….never call? Wait a sec that’s not right!
Wakey wakey eggs n bakey…
In our quest for passion, we sometimes confuse drama and passion.
Passion is heated, long term, persistent, pleasurable, and it has integrity.
Drama is panicky, impatient, short term, painful, and damn manipulative
We get into arguments sometimes with people, just to stir the pot.
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Guest post: The Drama Blame Game
April 9, 2008 by Cheekie · 6 Comments
On Day Ten of the 30 Days of Drama Reduction series, Cheekie ponders whether going down the blame route is really the best option….
So…about this here ‘drama’ thing we create for ourselves.
I see a lot of comments, blogs, stories etc., about how it is the man’s fault. He’s an ass, he never calls, he treats me like crap, he ignores me…the lists are endless.
But really, to play devil’s advocate for one itty bitty second, how is it their fault if we get upset by our self induced drama? Half the time they don’t even know they have upset us.
Now, before you start swearing and cursing at me, yes, I definitely believe there are (and have dated, unfortunately) some real Emotionally Effed Up and Completely Unavailable Men. But are they all considered that, just because you think it or because of a few rare examples? Or is it really because the relationship hasn’t met YOUR expectations?
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Guest post: How to demagnetize a Drama Magnet…
April 3, 2008 by Cheekie · 10 Comments
On Day Four of the 30 Days of Drama Reduction series, Cheekie shares a very funny, but highly useful perspective on not being a drama magnet….
Drama Magnet….Yup. That’s me.
Honestly, I could be sitting here, knitting or something equally as tame and BAM!
An email/comment on Facebook/text/phone call…and suddenly the drama machine is in overdrive.
How do I handle it? This constant stream of fodder for my neuroses?
Sometimes, not very well. But I realize when I am not dealing with it well, and conversely, when I am.
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Romanticize This…Holiday (vacation) romances
Cheekie writes….
Ah the memories…a perfect night, a perfect moon, a perfect beach, a perfect kiss. A perfect, passionate sex-on-the-beach where even-the-sand-didn’t-hurt-in-there (that much) moment.
Perfect perfectness.
No everyday BS. No dishes, laundry, dinners to cook.
No fights, no petty jealousies.
Just one night of bliss, or maybe more.
Depends on the length of your vacation I suppose.
Yes, I am talking about the Vacation Romance.
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Casual Sex Between Friends
July 5, 2007 by Cheekie · 22 Comments
Ah yes, CSBF. It can save your life, save your sanity, allow you to relax, and seem less desperate. But is it healthy? Let’s investigate a little further. First off, for those of you unfamiliar with the term, CSBF= Casual Sex Between Friends, now on with the pro’s/con’s.
Pro’s:
• Sex
• Drunken silly meaningless sex
• Hot drunken silly meaningless sex
• Having a friend to talk to
• He leaves when it’s done
• Being able to relax during sex and do things you would normally never do for fear of not being a “good girl”
• Calls at 1am (either way)
• No strings attached
• Being able to date without the sex urge, so you can get to know someone knowing you can always “get it” when you need it
• Avoiding the aura of desperateness
• Did I mention hot sex?
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