The Coup de Grace - When Your Friend Dates Your Ex
May 24, 2006 by The Tattoed Debutante · 5 Comments
It’s bad enough to lose someone you care about. The end of a relationship is emotionally draining, psychologically exhausting, and generally takes it all out of you. So, compound the stress of a breakup with the unthinkable, and you have what I will hence forth refer to as TUB (The Ultimate Betrayal).
I have ranted and raved about the evils of the female species, the undeniable ability of woman to sell her sister down the stream for a bit of security or a piece of ass. You have read my ‘what to do to be a good friend and what not to do if you want anyone to trust you again’. Well, I held back on what I consider the coup de grace. (That’s the correct spelling of the oft butchered coup de gras.) When your friend goes after your ex.
Now, I’m not talking about wanting to date someone that you dated years ago when you had braces and rocked out to NKOTB. I’m not talking about wanting to date someone that you hooked up with at some party on a night that you came home without your panties and with someone else’s shirt on. I’m talking about when, days, weeks, a month after a breakup, your ex and your “friend” decide to pursue a relationship. This is the TUB. This is what separates the friends from the women to avoid like the plague. And this is where my diatribe really begins.
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The Basketball Diaries - ‘Old’ vs New in the Dating Game
May 24, 2006 by The Tattoed Debutante · 3 Comments
So our school hosted a faculty/ student basketball game today: the teachers vs. the students. I watched as our older, slightly (or greatly) softer faculty, in their larger uniforms, ran up and down the gym floor while the younger, more agile teenagers scored and slammed against them. I laughed as the teens hung from the rims and the teachers bent over to catch their breaths. And while I watched, something awful crept into my mind. In the dating game, have I crossed the line and become the adult trying to keep up with what is most certainly a younger game?
You only know this if you are immediately connected to me, but several months I began to get deeply concerned that younger women were “running all over my game.” There was a teenager who was crowding my dating arena, and it intimidated the living hell out of me. I had always been the young, beautiful one that the older women could hate. Now, all of a sudden, I was hating young, beautiful women. When did I switch teams?
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Marriage Commentary: Airport Awakenings
May 3, 2006 by The Tattoed Debutante · 1 Comment
Lovely flight attendant: “Excuse me. I don’t mean to be nosy, really.” Me: “Haha, you’re not. We don’t mind.” Her: “I was listening to you talk about not wanting to get married and wondering about living together, and I just felt like I had to say something to you. I was in the same situation. I was with someone for 10 years, but I never wanted to get married. I wouldn’t even live with him because I was afraid of what people would think. He just died, and I wish that I had just said to hell with what other people thought.
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Signs your relationship may be in trouble
May 2, 2006 by The Tattoed Debutante · Leave a Comment
- Your partner lists their relational status as Swinger
- Your partner logs into your email and replies to your new messages
- You’ve stopped having sex (with each other)
- You’ve started having sex (with other people)
- Your partner only calls during arranged “check in” times
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Feel Better Texting
April 24, 2006 by The Tattoed Debutante · 1 Comment
Especially since my last texted break up, we are all well aware of my feelings on text messages. As often as I use my text services, and as easy as it makes several aspects of my life, it fully complicates other aspects…and not in the good way.
Last night I received a series of text messages from my Mr. Big. For those of you who are not familiar with the SATC reference, my Mr. Big is the major “ex” in my life. The one that I thought would last forever. The one that changed my life. The one that nearly killed me. It has been a long time since I’ve gotten messages like this from him, and they shook me up so I thought I should discuss this phenomenon. These are not booty texts, they are not friendly texts, so they must have a title of their own. Therefore, I will henceforth refer to these little reminders as the “Make Me Feel Better” (MMFB) text messages.
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Real-ationships: Drawing the Fine Line
April 18, 2006 by The Tattoed Debutante · 1 Comment
I think there are several types of “imaginary” relationships (IR). Some of these relationships are purely in the minds of those who create them, while others of them are very real indeed, they just fail to meet society’s standard of normal. You can be in an imaginary relationship where one partner believes the two are heavily involved, much to the surprise of the other partner. It can be a relationship where one person has so intertwined themselves with another in their mind that they believe something exists where absolutely nothing has been or will ever be. Your IR can be one in which both parties acknowledge the feelings and desires of the other, but cannot make it work because of time or space. It can be a relationship where you are secretly involved, preventing anyone else from affirming your relationship and thereby making it real. Regardless, imaginary relationships involve a gross majority of the people I know, and therefore must fall victim to my relational analysis.
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Girls v. Women: Revenge of the Y Chromosome
April 6, 2006 by The Tattoed Debutante · 1 Comment
I know it seems like I’ve been on a tear lately, but I suppose it’s because I have been. I would love to have become numb to the awful things that girls can do, but I am still shocked when girls do hateful, awful things to each other without a second thought. I have been swimming in a sea of sharks lately, constantly concerned about losing life or limb to the rows of teeth possessed by so many girls I know. I refer to them as girls because I would hope that real women would realise how insignificant and unimportant a man is in the scheme of things and that every time they hurt a girl for a boy, they are simply setting the female population up for abject failure. I have seen so much wrong lately, and so little right, that I’d like to point out some further behaviours that will keep you categorised as a “girl” and keep you from every being a “woman.”
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Lies We Tell Ourselves
April 5, 2006 by The Tattoed Debutante · Leave a Comment
When I was a sophomore in college I started dating a boy. He was completely unmotivated, addicted to a certain illegal herb, and fully content sitting on the couch, totally baked, watching the Journey “Live” DVD. I don’t say these things like they’re bad personality traits. In fact, I think they made me love him even more. There’s nothing sexier than a man who is completely comfortable with his own inadequacy. (And we wonder how I end up with the Mensa candidates I always date.)
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Why Boyfriends Are Like Diseases
April 3, 2006 by The Tattoed Debutante · 1 Comment
I may have killed someone. I don’t mean that I destroyed someone’s self esteem or caused someone severe emotional distress, I mean I got someone so deathly sick that if he dies, it’s going to fall on my head. This is why I’m a good teacher, I’m a walking PSA on why not to make out with random people. I like to stand in the hallway at school and yell at the young couples that making out will get them pregnant. They don’t actually believe me, seeing as how at 15 they are far more well-versed in sex than I think I will ever be. I do, however, believe that they could take a page from my play book here on how not to cope with a break up.
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Honest (if Unrealistic) Expectations
March 30, 2006 by The Tattoed Debutante · 2 Comments
If I’m honest with myself, I may be a bit to blame for my constantly tumultuous relational status. I tend to have expectations that don’t fall within the social norm. They deviate to all ends of the spectrum and really have no pattern, but I never claimed to be normal or simple, so at least I’m honest.
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