Break Up Method: Dear John Letter

February 9, 2006 by NML

Dear John letters, emails, text messages and voicemails, otherwise referred to as The Coward’s Route.
I have a friend that watched the episode of Sex and The City where Berger broke it off with Carrie with Post-It note. In the usual discussions that you have with a partner, she discussed this episode with her then shit of an ex, who displayed mock horror. Less than 48 hours later, he dumped her by text message.

This method is great for casual dating and but should really only be used if this is the method that you have communicated with them most. If you’ve met them online, email them, if they’re a text freak, text them, or if you like a little bit more personality in your break up, leave a voicemail, but obviously call when you’re sure they won’t answer.
NML’s Recommendations
- As far as I’m concerned if you’re in a bonafide relationship, unless thousands of miles separate you or you have had your tongue cut our or are in a coma, don’t go down this route. Everyone deserves to be broken up with face to face and the fear of breaking up with someone face to face stems from our fear of dealing with stuff, not their reaction. Take your chances.
- Naturally there are exceptions. If you’re breaking up with someone that has refused to accept the ending, or they have abused you in some way, go ahead and send whatever messages you like. Tell them I said they’re a chump while you’re at it!
- If for some unknown reason you still feel the need to do something like this in a relationship, that airtight reason that I recommend all people have for a break up better be in place and give it to them briefly. Unless of course you send a letter, then you can waffle to your hearts content. People need closure and if you send a text saying ‘Sorry, I can’t do this’ it gives the poor recipient not very much closure. You don’t really need an airtight reason for a casual date and if they’re relatively normal, they probably won’t need or seek one.
Ideal for: People that you’re dating casually, someone you’ve been on one date with, someone that refuses to take no for an answer.