Break Up Method: ‘We Need To Talk’

February 10, 2006 by NML

Say these words, even when a break-up isn’t on the agenda, and the recipient feels nervous. If breaking up is your intention then you’ve already started the beginning of the end. However, when you utter these words, makes sure that the conversation is had soon after. Don’t drag it out and build up anticipation (read:fear) and put the poor person out of their misery.

NML’s Recommendations
- Don’t get into a finger pointing apportioning of blame conversation. Do you want to break up or do you want to drag it out and potentially get into a ‘Can’t we work this out?’ situation?
- When it’s over, it’s over. Once you utter these words, why the hell do you need a big frickin’ discussion about it? This opens up the floodgates for untold trouble and it is likely that it will turn into a heated exchange. Unless the break up is completely out of the blue, people know what the break up is about.
- Do however, give a reason that you’ve prepared in advance. Not a flip-flapper reason that has more holes in it than a pair of fishnets. The reason should be airtight and when the person hears it, it should spell disaster because they recognise it as serious. Everybody has things that are fatal flaws that cannot be dealt with no matter how great a lay/partner the person may be. Use this wisely at this moment.
- I appreciate that it’s difficult to gauge whether a conversation like this is necessary, but if you’ve gone out with a guy a couple of times and it’s just casual, don’t turn it into a saga by creating an unnecessary break up conversation. Give the appropriate weight and gravitas to the situation!
Ideal for: Relationships, people you’ve been dating for a while, or that person that didn’t take the hint with a Dear John Letter or a Disappearing Act.