Comments on: Breaking Up and Moving On By Cutting Contact. Part 1

By: Becoming isolated in relationships – Part Three | Baggage Reclaim

Becoming isolated in relationships – Part Three | Baggage Reclaim — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 19:06:38 +0000

[...] get out plan to gradually extricate yourself out of the relationship or go full throttle with the No Contact Rule and cut the dialogue between [...]

By: | Baggage Reclaim - Dating, singles, relationships, sex tips and advice blog for men and women.

Wed, 07 Jan 2009 16:58:42 +0000

[...] am a huge advocate for using the No Contact Rule on men that just seem to have an allergy to breaking up and making a clean break. Even when you [...]

By: The No Contact Rule Really Does Work - Reader Success Story : Baggage Reclaim - Dating, singles, relationships, sex tips and advice blog for men and women.

Thu, 18 Sep 2008 16:17:31 +0000

[...] And what followed was Sheila’s own public struggle with No Contact, with readers trying to help, the two of us emailing, and Sheila veering between being in ok-ish state to being totally distraught. They were sometimes speaking every day, sleeping together, she would feel hopeful, he would disappoint (again), and so the cycle continued. You can see a lot of what was going on here. [...]

By: Relationship advice: I feel guilty about the No Contact Rule. Is it morally wrong to disregard someone without explaination? : Baggage Reclaim - Dating, singles, relationships, sex tips and advice blog for men and women.

Tue, 24 Jun 2008 11:27:27 +0000

[...] that they instigate the No Contact Rule, it’s because they have exhausted all other avenues. The No Contact Rule is for breaking up with men that don’t want to break…but they don’t want to give [...]

By: Coping With and Moving On After a Break Up Commandment 3: Thou shalt stop fearing the pain of breaking up and confront it : Baggage Reclaim - Dating, singles, relationships, sex tips and advice blog for men and women.

Thu, 29 May 2008 14:08:01 +0000

[...] clear is that despite appearances from the outside, such as breaking it off with him, starting the No Contact Rule, and seemingly getting on with their lives, their thoughts are consumed with wondering about the [...]

By: Breaking up and Moving On Commandment 2: Thou Shalt Not Obsess : Baggage Reclaim - Dating, singles, relationships, sex tips and advice blog for men and women.

Wed, 28 May 2008 17:16:03 +0000

[...] of the ladies that love an assclown Mr Unavailable, and especially for women who have started the No Contact Rule. The second commandment of breaking up and moving on after a break up focuses on the tricky subject [...]

By: The Ten Commandments of Coping With and Moving On After a Break Up Series : Baggage Reclaim - Dating, singles, relationships, sex tips and advice blog for men and women.

Tue, 27 May 2008 12:16:13 +0000

[...] had quite a few emails asking about how to cope with breaking up, particularly after applying the No Contact Rule or even the slightly less daunting Get Out [...]

By: NML

NML — Tue, 20 May 2008 16:52:35 +0000

OK ladies – I really have to close the comments on this now!

Go here

You can continue the conversation in the forum – any problems registering or logging in, please email me.

Thanks

xxx

By: Sheila

Sheila — Tue, 20 May 2008 16:43:09 +0000

Heartbroken.. 2nd week still sucks.. LOL, but it will pass… It was ok the first week and a half bc it was a challenge and new.. Now it’s 2 weeks, and it’s sinking in that ’s it’s over…
There is no easy cure..

By: Kim

Kim — Tue, 20 May 2008 15:50:12 +0000

Heartbroken – I wish I had the answer. I am a bad example because I have had unresolved feelings for this guy from 25 years ago. My marriage was a rebound from that. All I know is getting out there helps. At first no one compares but then you will meet a guy & feel a spark & think ok there is hope. I feel for you. We all are feeling the effects. I met a guy last week that was the sweetest thing. He gave me such attention, was a cutie, & it was the 1st time I have felt ANYTHING for anyone since my breakup with my EUM. It was nice to know I could feel something with someone else after being so guarded. Too bad he wasn’t from around here. Just visiting.

By: GiaNYC

GiaNYC — Tue, 20 May 2008 15:43:37 +0000

Heartbroken,

As the wks go by you should start feeling better enough to smile again and have some fun.
If after 4wks ure still mopping its bc YOU dont want to heal-you’re blocking the healing process.
Not to say you will be 100pct happy but the pill is not as bitter as the first wk

By: Kim

Kim — Tue, 20 May 2008 15:42:53 +0000

Everdream – Price worth paying? I totally understand that thought. Anyone who has ever experienced single parenting & being on their own for so long without a companion would understand. It is one tough job. I too am a single mom of 2. I had a hard time putting my heart out there again as well after so long & my 1st experience was the same. With someone who pursued me like hell but kept me around until the “right” thing came along. I thought this was my time, fate. I have had the same thoughts that being with him was no where near as bad as the loneliness. We never fought, always had fun. I hate that it has been so long & I haven’t found any relief. Once he was married I let go of all of my feelings for him. (that was the 1st time years ago) To get a 2nd chance & know he is still single bothers me. I guess I just can’t forgive myself for not moving back & playing it out. I just have to keep reminding myself it was a one sided relationship in the end.

Gia – I agree with you that counseling can’t hurt. I am in therapy but I cant afford to go often so I dont feel it is helping much. You are strong to not respond to his text. Knowing it will all end up the same is a driving force. Mine doesnt ask questions like that or I would probably crack. He has moved on. I haven’t. I can’t. Not only do I miss the attention & hate the loneliness but I actually miss him.

Sheila – I have no choice but to move on. He doesn’t want me back. i don’t get texts like you guys. it is supposed to be easier this way but it isn’t. Can’t wait for the day it is. It took me years to get over my divorce & I didn’t love my husband. I loved this guy. It sucks. It truly does. Dang I need to read NML’s book again.

By: heartbroken

heartbroken — Tue, 20 May 2008 14:35:40 +0000

I will have 4 weeks of NC as of this coming thursday. I am having a mix of emotions- from hating him to missing him to depression. There is no future with my eum as he is married. I know that. So I am just trying to keep myself busy. For all you experienced NCers how long does it take til I donâ€™t care at all? Will he ever be out of my head?

By: Sheila

Sheila — Tue, 20 May 2008 13:01:37 +0000

NC sucks..let’s call it what it is.. but it’s something you need to get thru for long term happiness.. I had a horrible day yesterday, horrible night and woke up with anxiety.. I am on 2 weeks NC.. I think I’ve figured out that it’s starting to hit me that it’s over, and that two weeks have gone by. I think it’s part of the grieving process, but boy, does it sting…I have also heard that it may get worse before it gets better, so i”m sticking it out. No way will I reach out to him, not an option, I have put my foot down and do not want any part of him, although it still hurts. It’s like breaking a bad habit, coming off a drug, and moving on. I heard a song on the way into work today on the 70’s station ( XM radio).. the chorus was something like this..

I love you too much to ever start liking you
So lets just let the story kinda end
I love you too much to ever start liking you
So don’t expect for me to be your friend

Game on ladies, i know it sucks, but let’s stop putting it off..

By: GiaNYC

GiaNYC — Tue, 20 May 2008 00:02:59 +0000

Everdream,

I agree when you say everyone has their own time to heal but when I suggested psychological help by no means is it an insult or weakness. I have in the past as well as others on this blog have see a therapist once or twice if not a many times. I think its completely healthy. If someone is mistreating us and showing they dont love us we must step back and look @ why we want to continue being in smthng so unhealthy. And if we cant figure it out on our won then I see nothing wrong with sitting with a professional who can help us thru it. Sorry if my message was misinterpereted. By no means do I want to sound like the ‘Healed’ one bc Im not. As a matter of fact my EUM txt me today and he said he missed a lot-he then followed up with another txt asking if I still loved him. At first it was so easy to reject the txt and feel nothing. But I would be lying if i said right now my heart is not telling me smthng different. No I wont respond bc Ive come to far to go all the way back. Geez I wouldnt know my way back even if I wanted to go..I dont know my EUM anymore-hes virtually become a stranger..Stay strong ladies…