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Playing Detective to Catch a Cheat

If you don’t want to or can’t afford to fork out for a detective agency or surveillance equipment, here are some basics to help you on your quest:

1) If you have a friend you can trust, get them to help you. They can keep you sane on the late night shift and they may be able to go into a place where the ’suspects’ are at without attracting suspicion.

2) Keep at a distance! Playing detective relies on you not blowing your cover.

3) If you’re tailing your suspect, borrow someone else’s car. Please! I would hazard a very good guess that your partner knows your license plate number….

4) Do disguise yourself if you can. Don’t go into ridiculous territory with a disguise that beggars belief (think Britney Spears shaving her head bald and then putting on that ridiculous blond wig). Stupid disguises draw attention unless you’re at an amusement park, fancy dress party or it’s Halloween…

5) The classic checking of pockets, wallets, purses and handbags can reveal receipts, numbers and all sorts. However, I really don’t like snoopers. I know a lot of people do it just for the hell of it but it is an invasion of privacy. That said, you’ve gotta do what you need to do if you’re going to gather your proof.

6) Take a pair of knickers/boxers that aren’t your size and place them in the car or in the house. This is not for the faint hearted and only for situations where you’re pretty certain they’ve been stupid enough to have them in the house or car. If they’re cheating, they’ll make up a big story about it. If they aren’t cheating, remind them about that time that that person stayed over at the house…. Risky though!

7) Do not under any circumstance break into your partner’s email. However if they are silly enough to accidentally leave it open on the screen, you could take advantage of the moment. Before you do it though, ask yourself: Would I like someone to do this to me?

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Life Imprisonment for Cheaters…If You Live in Michigan

I know of people who have cheated who have compared life with the scorned wife or girlfriend afterwards as something similar to jail or pergatory. But news has reached me via Single Again that adultery is still a felony which is punishable with up to life imprisonment…if you live in Michigan.
“We cannot help but question whether the Legislature actually intended the result we reach here today,” Judge William Murphy wrote in a unanimous Court of Appeals panel, “but we are curtailed by the language of the statute from reaching any other conclusion.”

“Technically,” he added, “any time a person engages in sexual penetration in an adulterous relationship, he or she is guilty of CSC I,” the most serious sexual assault charge in the state’s criminal code.
I can only imagine that For Sale signs must be popping up all over Michigan and U-Hauls should be doing a roaring trade….

I wonder if the thought of a jail term is enough to close up the wandering vagina’s and shrivel the wandering penises of Michigan… In fact, if there was a possibility for all people that they could be imprisoned for cheating, would they still do it? Well of course they would. People still rob, kill, maim and all sorts despite the prospect of a variety of punishments if they are caught. And that’s the problem…most people that cheat don’t think they’ll be caught and to be fair, even if they did, it’s alarming sometimes how many will still be allowed to stay despite their dishonesty. People should want to be faithful in their marriages because they want to be and they believe in the sanctity of their union, not because they fear they might be doing a jail term trying to avoid bending for the soap…
What do you think?

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Sign’s That He’s Cheating

There are certain things that will throw up a red flag that may indicate that your man has other interests that potentially involve giving another person a good seeing-to.

He’s routine to the point of being obstructive to the relationship. Yes some people are anal. Yes some people have obsessive compulsive tendencies. But if a guy has a rigid routine that he rarely deviates from, it not only shows that he’s not including you properly in his life and adjusting to the relationship, but it may also be an indicator of the fact that he’s cheating. Men that cheat do have a habit of being frighteningly routine so that they can schedule in the other woman.

He says you’re a couple but he only rolls up late. Or at the same time. If your man is attending to other business elsewhere, he has to tell some other woman a bullshit excuse about needing to go home, so that he can skip over to you. Obviously if you’re a booty call but you’ve been convincing yourself that you’re more than that, this may not mean that he has another woman, but if you are more than a shag on the side, he should be able to show his head in the cold light of day. Literally.

He runs for his phone when it rings and takes calls in other rooms whilst talking in hushed tones. Yes it may be a business call but when it comes to cheating there tends to be several indicators that add up together into cheating.

He smells of a perfume that’s not yours and tells you a convoluted story to explain it.

He showers a lot more suddenly.

He comes home later and later.

He stops telling you that he’s going to be late and continues to come home later and later.

There are suddenly a lot of wrong numbers or silent calls.

You find receipts for dinner/underwear/flowers/hotels and they aren’t explainable.

He says he’s in London on business but the PA distinctly says that he’s in Leeds.

You find another mobile phone that you didn’t know he had.

He omits as much detail as possible from his day to avoid being tripped up.

You catch something! Yes some cheaters are dumb enough to bring home an extra gift of an STD.

You find condoms but it’s not your form of contraception.

He claims that he’s suddenly decided to star treating himself to new clothing for himself (obviously this is unusual behaviour).
He suffers from ‘Those who doth protest too much’ syndrome. A surprising trait of men that cheat is they have a habit of making a lot of noise about other men who cheat and how awful they are. They also tend to paint themselves as the perfect partner and place themselves on a pedestal from other guys putting themselves in glowing light.

He’s suddenly very difficult to get a hold of.

He disappears for periods of time with little or no explanation.

Now I don’t want anyone going straight to their man and kicking them out but do note that with the exception of a few, a man who has a combination of these behaviours should be making you feel nervous. Always act on hard evidence or very strong suspicion and avoid paranoia!

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Being The Other Woman Revisited - It’s straight talking time.

Back in June, I wrote about Coping With Being the Other Woman which gave tips for any woman who had found herself relegated to second place due to being with someone else’s man. Ultimately my advice was and is not to cope, but I was surprised at the stories and emails that have come through from women who have found themselves in this situation.

First of all, there is a reason why all of these people have been searching for content about the subject: on some level, they know that their ‘relationship’ is completely jacked up. Very few claimed to be happy with the situation, most were being driven demented. A few months on, I feel it necessary to readdress this issue with a dose of straight talking.

The relationship is built on dishonesty. You would be surprised how the excuses for having an affair all boil down to only a few basic excuses that are trotted out the world over. It doesn’t matter if you’re in a mud hut in the middle of Africa, or in what you think is your plush life in the city. Lot’s of people claim that their partner doesn’t understand them. Lot’s claim that they are no longer sleeping with them. Lot’s claim they stay with their partner for the kids. Some claim that their jobs frown upon divorce. Others say that she (or he) wouldn’t be able to cope. Many claim that they are just waiting for the right time, the right moment, the right second/minute/hour/day/year to break the news.

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