Assert Yourself for You, Not for Approval or Control

Boundaries are not about gaining agreement and validation. Instead, they’re about showing up and being stakeholders in our lives. If you consider that we are each our boundaries and our boundaries are us, we can’t make our existence about trying to please and prove...

Healthy Boundaries Are as Much for You as They Are for Everyone Else

One of the mistakes many make in trying to have boundaries is seeing them solely as a means of guiding and directing or even ruling others. Boundaries are for us first and foremost. Others know our line when we know it. If someone isn’t being boundaried, continuing to...

Healthy Boundaries in Supporting a Partner’s Mental Health

Supporting a partner who’s struggling with their mental health without becoming anxious, depressed or low ourselves is possible, but it does take clear boundaries and self-care. We can care for our partner as well as for ourselves. ‘Support’ doesn’t mean ‘be the...

More Authentic Yes is Great for Our Body’s Stress Levels

When you say yes, but inwardly mean no, you stress your body with the conflict of the lie. Saying and doing one thing and feeling another (people pleasing) from time to time isn’t going to do too much harm, not least because being an occasional (as opposed to frequent...

Beware Being An Emotional Dumpster or Airbag and Know Your Limits

When we pride ourselves on being kind, generous, supportive and giving, it often feels necessary to ‘be there’ for others. It then feels super confusing when we feel overloaded, resentful, exhausted and the like.We might become convinced that we’re a Bad Person....

Having Needs and Boundaries Doesn’t Make You a Bad Person

Guilt is that sense you have of having committed a wrongdoing.Now, as feelings aren’t facts, feeling you’ve done something wrong isn’t the same as actually having done something wrong. Never is this more clear when you notice you are feeling guilty for: ...