Way back in the day when I used to work in media sales, we talked a lot about building rapport with clients, getting to understand their needs, and matching them up, where relevant, with the right products to help them grow their business. I learned very quickly about the importance of timing and ensuring that I didn’t jump the gun. When everything had come together, the next logical step was a client ready to take out advertising and in some instances, they were so ready, they were like, ‘How much and where do I sign?’.
When I mentored graduates, a lot of the work was really about mindset and approach because some would be tempted to pick up the phone or turn up to a meeting and quick as anything, they would ask for the sale and then be surprised at being met with crickets. They were so in their heads that they didn’t get a reading on the situation and ensure that the other steps had been taken.
The same thing happens with dating and while some of it is about jumping the gun and so maybe being a bit too quick to try to move from being strangers to being in a relationship, it can equally be about mismatched and in fact, misunderstood next logical steps.
For a lot of people, feeling attracted to someone, or going on a first or few dates, is an automatic precursor to a relationship or certainly to desiring a relationship with the person in question, but when it all boils down to it, is that really the next logical step? No.
That doesn’t mean that a relationship with the person isn’t possible, it’s just that depending on how much of a leap is made, it progressing into a relationship in an organic fashion where it feels natural and a next logical step for the both of you, is less likely.
In the very early phase of an attraction or involvement, there’s not enough ‘we’ in the mix for both parties to feel comfortable about moving forward.