The Player’s Boot Camps: Camp Rejection

Askmen recently launched The Player’s Bootcamp series of articles which provides men with a series of exercises which force guys “to learn by rote, rather than by mere suggestion, the core set of traits and skills required to follow through on the Player’s advice.” The Player is a columnist who is teaching guys how to play the game by giving seduction and sexual techniques, and between the various articles, the microsites where seemingly hundreds of thousands of men pay $14.95 a month to learn how to get into our knickers, Askmen has it covered. Make no mistake ladies, these guys are not looking to get to know you, as in the person; it’s all just one big game. People keep saying that dating and relationships isn’t a game, but if one person is playing, you will get played unless you play too, or become aware of the type of BS techniques that there are out there and be alert.

The act of picking up women as a game is a way of giving men the opportunity to attempt to pull but distancing themselves from the results. This is great for a guy because he gets to insulate his ego (penis and brain) from negative results but also gets to understand why women react to certain types of his behaviour so that he can establish a pattern.

The first article that I have checked out is the The Player’s Bootcamps: Camp Rejection.

Exercise 1: The Rejection Pot

“Wagers On Quantity: Before you head out with your buddies, each of you agrees to put $20 into a pot. At the end of the night, whoever gets rejected the most times wins the pot. “

Ladies, little did you realise, but saying no is making money for some guys! Guys that try out this game not only make some money from rejection, but with any luck they actually managed to get some interest from some women, so they are quids in. I’m not remotely surprised that not only are men competing as usual, but they’ve managed to put a wager on it. However, the article does caution guys against going for the money and using tactics to boost numbers, because this little game is supposed to be about learning pick up tricks. The game can also be switched around so that it focuses on quality and it’s about the least number of rejections. Personally I think it’s a bit late to be talking about quality over quantity…

Exercise 2: The 3-Second Approach

“You have to train your brain out of relapsing into self-doubt. Let action replace deliberation and force yourself to make a move immediately: Upon choosing a target, set yourself a limit of three seconds to approach her. Once the three seconds have passed, force yourself to abort. Tough luck bud, you missed your chance.”

So beware of men approaching you in out of the ordinary places such as malls and public transport zones where you are more likely to be embarrassed by their approach. The ironic thing is that this so called ‘random approach’ is supposed to be perceived as spontaneous rather than premeditated making the woman more comfortable and trusting of the guy.

Exercise 3: Day Quotas ”Set yourself a goal of a certain number of women to approach in a day. Five is a good number. You might do most of this assignment walking home from work downtown, for example. Take whatever detours are necessary to go where the women are and make contact — malls, shops, cafes, bus stops, waiting at a crosswalk, etc. ”

Again like the 3-second approach, this is totally premeditated and calculated.

Exercise 4: Avoid Self-Pleasure

”The civilized man fears rejection. The primal animal has no concern for the social order and couldn’t give a damn what people think of him. Reduce yourself to an animal by laying off the masturbation; your sense of self-awareness and social hierarchy will dissolve and be replaced by your raging libido. This exercise is all about readjusting your perception of rejection: Stop thinking of it as a social evaluation (i.e. she stuffed me, so I’m a loser) and start thinking of it as a means to an end (if this woman won’t agree to satisfy my man-lust, I must find another who will).”

I am truly amazed at this, because this advice is being given as if every guy is completely normal and is in total control of himself and his faculties. At least he has the good grace to advise that if the guy feels himself becoming aggressive, he should “..abort this exercise. After all, women do have feelings and deserve respect.” No shit, Sherlock.

This is the problem that I have with The Player’s Bootcamp. The very act of being cold, calculated, and premeditated to achieve quotas and goals shows a complete disregard for a woman’s feelings and does disrespect her. The reason why these men can do these ridiculous exercises is because women are unaware that they are part of a game, a numbers quest. It’s all about putting a woman in her comfort zone when she should actually be extremely wary. These exercises and the other guides for wannabe Player’s can only appeal to the type of man that just wants to boost his ego with pick-up’s and sex. Every guy is interested in getting laid, but there are some that can see beyond that to the fulfilling aspects a relationship.

I am afraid for women with all of this game carry-on. Yes there are a certain number of women out there looking for just a shag, but I am loathe to believe that there is this cold, premeditated numbers game taking place with most women, shag or not. This is what we have been reduced to, numbers, with a shag on the end of it. The Player’s Bootcamp appeals to the competitive, methodical, logical side of a man, and enables men to view us as commodities shifting in and out of view. Stock ‘em high, sell ‘em cheap. It’s all about boosting the ego and holding back any real emotion. It’s about picking up and moving on to the next challenge.

Beware ladies and pay attention. If you think you smell a rat, you do smell a rat and no matter how attractive the prospect is of nabbing him or trying to change him, you are just another conquest. Abort the chase.

I’m curious as to how a man switches from being a numbers man, to being someone that wants to be in a committed, monogamous relationship? Are there lessons for this? I bloody doubt it!

NML is the editor of Baggage Reclaim

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Men That Play Games

Over the course of the last few decades, playing the ‘dating’ game has become synonymous with dating. Generally, it’s the women that use this technique (aka The Rules) however as of late, the men have adapted this phenomenon with varying results.

One of my girls had met this guy online. Let’s call him Jake. Jake looked good on paper, he called her whenever he said that he would, he dropped her grandmother off at her doctor’s appointment, all in all, he was a nice guy.

When Gina had first met Jake, she had no social life to speak of. She went to work and came back home, filling her time talking to Jake over the phone and being at his beck and call. However, she read the article on here “Get a Life” and was spurred into making her single life more exciting. She attended events, threw parties and hung out with a new social crew, one that supported her and helped her gain social independance.

All of a sudden, Jake started becoming uncommunicative and withdrawn. He resented the time she spent with her friends and lashed back by making himself as unavailable to her as he could. She was surprised by the turn of events and tried even harder to please him, calling him frequently and keeping him updated on her plans.

After a strong talking to, (that’s what girlfriends are for!), I made her realize that he was playing games, doing the whole Pushey-Pulley thing trying to get her attention. He wanted her as she was before, at his beck and call, and because she refused he was a petulant child.

For some reason, the thought of a man playing games irks me. He’s supposed to be the protector, the strong rock, a bulwark in time of trouble. A guy acting flighty and fickle just feminizes him and makes me disrespect him. The thing about guys that play games is that they do it so…er…badly, that almost instantly our Sixth Sense is screaming and we know that something is wrong.

I love my man upfront and honest, candid about his feelings and actions. A guy trying to be mysterious and secretive about his intentions turns me off. A guy that doesn’t know what he wants, and decides to keep me on the back burner while he figures it out turns me off. A guy that has a girlfriend but wants me on the side to give him the attention he’s lacking turns me off. A guy that is emotionally unavailable, or just unavailable period, in one way or another…is playing games with you.

Take the rosetinted glasses off honey, he’s not into you. If he is playing/toying with your emotions, he’s just not yours. Get your Moxie back, and get rid of the loser. There are tons of other nice guys out there!

If you’re into unavailable men, why not check out our new blog dedicated to the subject

Vixen is Deputy Editor for Baggage Reclaim. Visit her blog Bad Girls Guide

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