One of the trickiest situations can be when you know that you need to break up but you stay together or keep going back because you feel that the person is ‘too nice’ to break up with. It’s like, if they were treating you badly or there basically wasn’t something about them or the relationship that made remaining beneficial, you would have finished it, and so as such, you feel caught between a rock and a hard place. As I said to a close pal earlier this week, you end up feeling as if you’re going to kick a puppy in the face and of course, no one wants to think of themselves in this way!
But, here’s the thing:
You’re not doing yourself, never mind the other person any justice by remaining in the relationship.
It’s one thing to stay because you want to and because you genuinely love and accept the person, but it’s another when fear of looking like ‘the bad guy’ or enjoying aspects while gritting your teeth and vacillating between breaking up or staying, is blocking you from making the right, albeit uncomfortable decision.
My friend is used to doing what I used to do: metaphorically torching the relationship a la Angela Bassett in Waiting To Exhale, or exiting with stealth moves to avoid dealing with the person and the situation.
Neither option, while they might feel good initially, results in growth, because if the only way that you can break up is with drama or trying to do a Houdini, you won’t know how to do the grown-up thing and admit when something isn’t working, discuss it, and make a solid ending.