Men Don’t Like Valentine’s Day…Apparently
If you’re out tonight with your man and get the sense that he’s grimacing over your Valentine’s day ‘celebration’, it’s probably because he feels pressured from the high expectations that he feels he is getting from you, or at least that’s what you could believe if you pay attention to a recent independent survey that has been conducted by Teamdating.
They surveyed 500 single and 500 married men between 25-40 in Los Angeles and Orange County. It seems that most of the men think that expectations of what and how they should do on the big day has left a rather sour taste in their mouth. If the survey findings are to be believed, women are at the heart of the pressure.
Married Men Survey Results:
91% said it was their least favorite Holiday of their marriage due to the expectations of topping what they did the previous year
97% said that they plan what they are going to do the weekend before
94% said that any money spent on this day is a waste of money
72% said they plan on giving a gift certificate
And only 4% of the men said they feel that the Holiday is even intended for men
Single Men Survey Results:
97% said it was their least favorite Holiday of the year
99% said to them it’s just another day
86% said they will go out and try to find single girls that are out as well
89% could not remember what they did the year before
And a staggering 93% didn’t even know that it fell on February 14th every year
“Men feel that no matter what they do, it won’t be enough. Some try and take a creative approach with something out of the ordinary, but most fall back on the old reliable such as flowers and candy.
At the end of the day, I think the thing they are missing is that women mainly want to see that you put some effort into whatever you did. If you are going to get flowers, get them from a different florist so they are not a carbon copy of what you gave for their birthday or another recent event”, explained Teamdating.com Chief Dating Officer Ray Doustdar.
I’m sure that there are a lot of women who do get their knickers in a twist over Valentine’s day so it is easy to see where men may get these notions from, but I also believe that there are a lot of pretty level headed women out there that don’t. Remember also that us humans have a tendency to experience something with one person and assume every person there after feels the same way, hence if a guy has been with someone who put the pressure on, he may assume that every woman feels like that. Men can be kind of literal that way….
As Doustdar suggested above, effort, whether he made you breakfast in bed or took you out to dinner is key if the day means something to a woman. As women, we can help out the situation by not expecting him to guess how you feel about the day or what you expect, but we can also alleviate the pressure by keeping things in perspective. It’s a Hallmark day! Nobody likes to feel under duress and if you’re wondering why he thinks the fun has gone out of things, check in with yourself and make sure that it’s not down to you.
Read via About.com.
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Valentine’s…Yawn
I really do feel for people at this time of year because whether you’re single or attached, you’re absorbing some sort of messaging about the Hallmark drama that is Valentine’s day. If you’re attached, you might be getting your knickers in a twist wondering what to do, where to go and what to buy for the occasion and if you’re single, you could be worrying about your singledom or trying to force yourself into a date with someone just to have someone for the ‘great event’. Either way, if you let it, next Wednesday could become a headache of migraine proportions.
For anybody who enjoys the day, knock yourselves out, but for the rest that don’t, remember what Valentine’s is about. It is a Hallmark commercial holiday that celebrates love. Like Christmas, some of us are in danger of forgetting the sentiment behind the holiday. After all, what’s the point in creating all the drama over the day if you forget to enjoy loving and being loved?
Whilst I’m all up for making someone feel special, there are 364 other days in the year and if you’re in a relationship, you should be making an effort to celebrate your love as often as possible. It doesn’t have to be celebrated in a Hallmark way with a big gesture - a combination of miniature, small, medium and large gestures over the course of the relationship is just fine. Personally I’ll take a man that makes me feel loved every day of the year than someone who rolls out the red carpet of love occasionally.
And if you’re single, I’d focus on a bit of self-love. Celebrate the fact that you love yourself dearly and you’re not spending it with some plonker who isn’t worthy of your time. And if that self-love isn’t that high at the moment, I’d focus on finding some before your lack of it finds you in the arms of someone who might give you a headache for 365 days of the year…
Also read:
Valentine’s Day Can Kiss My Ass
10 Reason’s Why You Shouldn’t Let Valentine’s Day Stress You
10 Naughty Things To Do on V-Day
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Happy Valentine’s Day
I’m interrupting my regularly scheduled column in honour of Valentine’s Day, the auspicious Hallmark Holiday which lines the post Christmas coffers of flower stores, card shops, jewellers, lingerie shops, and chocolatiers. A post-holiday celebration of capitalism and the powers of sex. Because, let’s face it, it’s still mostly men who are targeted by advertisements to shower their significant others, or potential significant others, with jewels, skimpy lingerie, flowers, etc in the hope of getting laid in exchange.
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10 Naughty Things to Do When You’re Single on V-Day
February 14, 2006 by Pocahantas · 3 Comments
Pocahantas presents a little Valentine’s day humour for the fabulously single!
1: Schedule everyone in your department for a mandatory 7:30 meeting—at least a month in advance—the morning after Valentine’s day and assign each of them a moderately complex presentation.
2: Throw water balloons out of your third-story apartment onto unsuspecting couples.
3: Go to the sex shop buy everything that you would use were you getting laid and express mail them to your boss’s house with a teddy at least 2 sizes too small for his wife (make sure to pay in cash).
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10 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Let Valentines Day Stress You
February 13, 2006 by NML · 2 Comments
Whether you’re single or attached, here at Baggage Reclaim we don’t believe that it’s a day that should have you getting your knickers in a twist, because people shouldn’t invest so much emotion and energy in a commercial day that seems to be built on profiting from insecurity and putting relationships under immense pressure. Here are some funny but true reasons why we all need to get a grip!
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Valentine’s Day Can Kiss My…
I’ve never made it a secret about my loathing of Valentine’s day. It’s not because I’m anti-couples or anti-love, and it’s certainly not because I’m single. Truthfully, I think that Valentine’s day is a cheesy load of sh*t which benefits the retailer but puts single people and people that are in relationships under a ridiculous pressure. There are 365 days in the year and I find it hard to believe that people get their knickers in their twist over displaying their love on just one of those days.
I have been watching people going lula over Valentine’s since I was a kid. I remember the immense pressure we were all under at five years bloody old to have a Valentine’s card and how kids that didn’t get one would get teased. When it got to my teens it was just ridiculous. Girls in a depression or getting all hysterical because they haven’t had a card. Worse still was the smug b*tch that had to tell everyone that she’s had ten cards (she’d probably written them all to herself).
As an adult I have found that Valentine’s in a relationship is stressful. Seeking out a present for a partner on Valentine’s is stressful because I feel under pressure to come up with something sentimental, that epitomises the Valentine’s day feeling, but everything in the shops just appears to be cheesy sh*t churned out for mugs like me. Guys aren’t even into Valentine’s day. They’re not widely ecstatic about getting Valentine’s gifts because they’re a bit bewildered by what the big friggin deal is in the first place. They’ve probably been reminded fifty times by their partner and there have been ominous threats of the relationship coming to an abrupt end if it’s forgotten.
When I think back to all of the Valentine’s gifts that I have given or received, most have been consigned to the bottom draw - dodgy underwear, fluffy handcuffs, love cheques, teddy bears, shot glasses with love messages.
When I see women getting into a tizz over this day, I think we forget sometimes that we live in the real world where some of us seem to have a penchant for dickheads. Some of these dickheads even make it to boyfriend status but I think that I should remind those of you that do get antsy about Valentine’s Day: If he’s a dickhead, he will still be one at the beginning and end of Valentine’s day. All that money that we spend, all of the sentiments don’t fix a damn thing and whatever insecurities that we do have about our relationships doesn’t fade with a gift, card or flowers.
It is January and already I’m seeing all sorts of marketing going on for it. It seems that each year they start earlier, feeding into the public subconscious, into the insecurities so that people are already thinking ahead or wondering what they should do for the special day. I have no idea what I will be doing February 14th 2006 and I won’t be fretting about it. Can you believe that people are already making plans?! Maybe I’ll be with somebody, maybe I won’t, but either way, Valentine’s day and Hallmark can kiss my arse.
Last year, I declared ‘F*ck Valentine’s Day’ and brought myself a nice treat just because it was a Monday and I felt like it. I like the freedom that it brings and I have vowed that when I am with someone, I won’t be one of those women that goes on about Valentine’s day and nags about gifts and stuff like that. This year, Baggage Reclaim will be taking the alternative view of Valentine’s and I suggest that if you’re looking for 101 ways to sex your unavailable man on Valentine’s day or suggestions for slushy gifts, it may be best to skip on to another site. Like a lot of topics on this site, Valentine’s will be treated with humour and a dose of bitchiness where necessary, and even if we do talk gifts or suggestions, brace yourself for something cheeky or rude!
NML is the editor of Baggage Reclaim
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