When Old Coping Mechanisms Become Today’s Roadblock to Love

Whatever you’ve been doing to ‘get’ love or to avoid what you’re afraid of, it’s based on you having come up with a set of conditions for being ‘OK’. You’ve imposed these rules and obligations upon yourself as a form of self-protection. On some level, you figured that...

Letting Go of the Control Reins: The Path to True Emotional Autonomy

We humans love being in control. We fear uncertainty, not being liked, being unable to handle situations, and leaving our [uncomfortable] comfort zones. As a result, we develop habits aimed at influencing and controlling other people’s feelings and behaviour, and...

Same Relationship, Different Person

Feel as if you’ve been in variations of the same relationships and situations? This sameness is a relationship pattern. Consciously or not, you’re in a cycle of gravitating to people that fit your beliefs. They speak to your habits and unresolved pain, fear, guilt,...

The Powerful Untruths of Our Negative Beliefs Block Loving Relationships

When something happened in your childhood that you didn’t like the look or feel of, you searched for reasons to explain it. Often, this meant making yourself the focal point of that reason, even though it might not have had anything to do with you. You reached...

Why do certain people push our buttons?

I hear from a lot of people who don’t understand why being around their family pushes their buttons. They figure that because they’re however-old, or they don’t have these feelings or conflicts in other areas of their life, or they have money,...

Building habits challenges our identity. We’re capable of more than we think.

Training for the London Marathon in 2018 revealed stark parallels between the training and going No Contact with an ex. Even though, at the time, I hadn’t done the latter for thirteen years, the same angst and doubt gripped me. I started from scratch with a dose...