NML’s Quick Thoughts on Self Esteem and Drama Reduction
April 19, 2008 by NML · 7 Comments
Get out of your comfort zone and get uncomfortable
Remember that being a Drama Seeker is comfortable which means that if you genuinely want to have positive change in your life, you are going to have to get uncomfortable. People prefer being in their comfort zone even when they’re struggling and very unhappy because it is what they know. This is why, when we break it off with an assclown and decide to start the No Contact Rule, we can often end up falling off the wagon because we hate the unknown and the insecurity of not being surrounded by a heap of drama. Accept that it’s not going to be easy, it is uncomfortable, but that you are about to learn to love you more than you love drama or some dodgy assclown.
You have to drum it into yourself that sometimes you are going to have to feel some short term pain for some medium and long term gain.
Break-ups hurt, not necessarily because it’s a signal that you’re destined to be together forever in Care Bears Land but because it’s a break up!
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!
Good Things Don’t Feel Bad and Getting Into Reality
April 18, 2008 by NML · 12 Comments
So I think it’s fairly safe to say that we are all pretty clear on the why’s and how’s of becoming a Drama Seeker with much of it tied into reacting to both internal and external fear, low self-esteem, and not being able to recognise a good, healthy, relationship, or negative, devaluing relationships. So for the remainder of the 30 Days of Drama Reduction series, it’s about breaking the pattern and feeling good.
One of the things that is significantly different in me now to before is that I am very aware of how I feel about everything - not just men, but to people who I come into contact with, how I react to stress, and how I generally feel about myself. Looking back, I think everything must have been very cluttered, cloudy, and fuzzy back then but as a result of shaking off baggage and negative feelings about myself, it left me with room to feel and to use my gut and common sense to judge my interactions.
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!
Guest post: Drama Demons…
April 17, 2008 by Cheekie · 20 Comments
On Day 18 of the 30 Days of Drama Reduction series, Cheekie adds her own brand of humour about harnessing the Drama Seeking Demon within…
Funny thing, drama, no matter how much we have (or create) in our life we have this bizarre tendency to create more from it…
It’s like a warren of fuzzy bunnies, reproducing itself exponentially.
Yes, I am talking about the tendency amongst Drama Seekers to mountain out of molehill everything. Once a crisis hits, suddenly EVERYTHING becomes a crisis.
For example, let’s say you have a crapper of a day at work. Then you get home and your ‘boy’ doesn’t call. Well suddenly the Drama Demons come out to play.
And you have invited them.
The world sucks, your job sucks, your relationship sucks, no one loves you.
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!
Guest post: Passion…or Drama?
April 16, 2008 by Cheekie · 10 Comments
On Day 17 of the 30 Days of Drama Reduction series, Cheekie makes a clear distinction between passion and Drama with a capital D…
Mmmm passion…who doesn’t love, crave, indeed live for it?
That handsome, rakish man who is going to sweep us off our wee toes and make love to us in the rain and then….never call? Wait a sec that’s not right!
Wakey wakey eggs n bakey…
In our quest for passion, we sometimes confuse drama and passion.
Passion is heated, long term, persistent, pleasurable, and it has integrity.
Drama is panicky, impatient, short term, painful, and damn manipulative
We get into arguments sometimes with people, just to stir the pot.
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!
My Epiphany Moment in Drama Seeking
April 15, 2008 by NML · 3 Comments
A while back I wrote about Epiphany Relationships - “a relationship that caused you to have a sudden clarity and insight into that particular relationship, yourself, your actions, and potentially all of your relationships. There is a defining moment within this relationship where everything changed for you and suddenly you couldn’t escape the truth and it became life changing.”
You will also experience Epiphany Moments where a huge voice of reason and sanity kicks in and says “What the F************CK are you DOING?!”
It seems only right that I should share mine with you.
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!
What’s Unconditional Love got to do with it, got to do with it?
April 14, 2008 by NML · 15 Comments
I did repeat “got to do with it” on purpose in the title as I was singing a bit of Tina Turner….It’s day 15 in the 30 Days of Drama Reduction series, and today I think it’s time I tackle the tricky subject of ‘unconditional love’, that thing that many women just love doling out to every Tom, Dick, and Harry, or should I say assclowns…
“I love him unconditionally - that’s what relationships are all about, isn’t it?” a reader said to me recently.
“But you don’t have a relationship and HE doesn’t love you unconditionally, and you don’t love you unconditionally!” I replied.
Ladies, I hate to break it to you, but most of you have no clue what unconditional love is all about. It’s all tied up in dodgy relationship beliefs, soulmate declarations, the fairy tale, and a lack of accountability.
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!
Relationship advice: does my attention seeking make me a Drama Seeker?
April 13, 2008 by NML · 6 Comments
A reader has asked “I feel best about myself when I have ongoing flirtations (virtual or otherwise) with a minimum of three men. If one of them flakes, disappoints me, or starts to get boring — I have another lined-up. Does this mean I am a drama seeker?”
There’s looking for love in all the wrong places and there’s looking for attention from..well just about anywhere. Attention is attention regardless of the actual quality of it if you’re doing a spot of attention seeking, you’re either thrill seeking or drama seeking.
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!
It’s about time you made it all about you
April 12, 2008 by NML · 5 Comments
I was going to post something completely different today in the 13th post in the 31 Days of Drama Reduction Series but I couldn’t help but notice a recurrent theme with a number of readers I’ve been speaking with - Everything is about him. The relationship was about him and the breakup is about him. And of course, the drama is about him.
Whilst the drama stems from your fears, much of the drama centres around having his attention focused on you and getting him to do what you want. Which got me thinking back to when I was The Other Woman.
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!
Guest post: How To Date Baggage FREE!
April 11, 2008 by Hot Alpha Female · 3 Comments
Today on day 12 of the 30 Days of Drama Reduction series, Hot Alpha Female is delivering an empowering wake up call and action plan for saying bye-bye to baggage….
So you’ve decided that its time to clear the baggage. Now you want to know how. You’ve found the problem and now you want the solution. You’ve figure out what has been holding you back and now you’re prepared to finally face your fears.
For those of you that have the courage.. then it’s time to dive in and start building a whole new mindset about yourself, dating, relationships and life.
But only for those that are prepared and only for those that are prepared to start dating drama free. You need to want a fresh new start without looking back …
Let’s get to it shall we?
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!
Don’t let this whole drama seeking thing be as good as it gets for you
April 10, 2008 by NML · 6 Comments
This week as I was talking to various Fallback Girl readers, I was reminded of this quote from one of my favourite films, As Good As It Gets.
Receptionist: How do you write women so well?
Melvin Udall: I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability.
Hilarious! But at the time when the film was made, he clearly wasn’t aware that there is such a thing as Mr Unavailable - a man full of hot air, fickleness, an over-inflated ego that masks low self-esteem, warped logic, and a complete absence of accountability.
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!
