He says that he cares about me but I keep hearing little things about him flirting with other women Even though he is p*ssing me off, I’m really in love with him and I don’t want to believe that I have wasted my time with him…. These men use work to manipulate you, much like cheaters that you meet at work - they use the fact that you are at work to make out like there are restrictions to how much you can be with each other because of the work environment, when actually, it’s because they’re assclowns with a wife, or other women that they are chasing.

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Second Best syndrome - I come across a lot of women who are for example, The Other Woman and they are used to coming second because they may have grown up in a house where they believed that another sibling was loved more than them, or they just generally had to compete with something or someone for their parents attention…. Even if you were not emotionally unavailable yourself when you met a Mr Unavailable for instance, unless you realise what you’re dealing with and get out quickly, it is very difficult not to leave the relationship emotionally unavailable yourself because they almost end up teaching you a whole new relationship style.

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One of the things I learned about dating is that in order to survive, you need to be able to smell the BS coming from a mile away otherwise assclowns a plenty will suck up your time, reduce your self-esteem, and end up making you believe that dating is for suckers. One of the classic […]

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The Justifying Zone is that slippery slope that a lot of women find themselves in, especially after they have sexual contact with a guy. Many of us feel that we need to justify our emotional and sexual investment and this justification is effectively attempting to close the door after the horse has bolted.
The Justifying Zone […]

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I met a guy last year who had been separated for six months after being married for nine and had two kids. He was upfront about this on the night I met him. I’d approached him in a pub by telling his friend I liked him. The following day he rang me constantly, which was […]

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Astelle asks: “I divorced in 2002, (married 18 years) and I’m a single Mom with teenagers. In August 2004, I dated the first guy after my divorce and it lasted until Feb 2005. He’s 50, divorced (was married 25 years) with kids that he has every other weekend. I thought we had a good relationship […]

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Traci asks “I feel like I fell for an emotionally unavailable guy mostly because I was dealing with a tragedy and was more vulnerable than usual. I attached myself to someone I had only begun dating who ended up being an emotional unavailable guy (I got one good cry on the shoulder experience and then […]

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Six months into my separation, I received an email from one of my best high school friends, a man whom I had not heard from in 8 years except for occasional holiday cards. It was a basic email to ask how I was doing but after a month of talking casually, I learned that he […]

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JJ asks “I have been hurt in the past and went into a long phase of meaningless two month “relationships” and one-night stands before deciding upon abstinence, when lo and behold I met someone. He’s everything I always thought I really wanted - intelligent, funny, outgoing, and hot - but never had the guts to […]

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“I met a guy at work, who at the time had a long distance relationship going on 5 years. We somehow started talking at work and soon, we were IMing all day long. At the beginning, I had no feelings for him. He was just a cool guy at work that I started talking to. […]

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