Guest Post: You can be a ‘Nice Guy’ but I need you to keep your balls and be a ‘man’

Hot Alpha Female writes…

Recently I had to travel to the US, and one particular issue kept coming up.

My travelling buddy, while really sweet and easy going, was slowly driving me insane. I thought I was going to pull my own hair out and wanted to give him a happy pill or something, just so he would be able to talk faster instead of taking 5 minutes to think of a response to anything I said! My main frustration was that this guy could not make a decision for the life of him!! He was travelling with me because he is meant to be that little bit more savvy, but honestly it would have been better travelling with a stuffed toy!

So here is the thing: This guy could not make a decision, said YES to everything that I asked him, and seemed to have no sense of opinion himself, and on top of that was a complete and utter people pleaser! I don’t know about you guys, but isn’t this something that you would find just irritating? Mind you, some of you may be thinking that it would be great to have such an easy going traveling buddy…

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The truth about Nice Guys

The dating world is a complicated one full of dodgy dates, misconceptions, and pigeon holing galore, and none more so than with the quintessential hard-done-by Mr Nice Guy. But…are ‘Nice Guys’ really that ‘nice’?

Trust me, it’s not because you’re the Nicest Guy On Earth™ why you can’t pick up women – it’s either because you’re barking up the wrong tree, you’re mistaking certain qualities or characteristics for ‘nice’ when they are actually hindrances, or you’re actually just not that nice.

I believe there are four types of ‘Nice Guy’:

Assclowns, Bastards, and Jerks in Nice Guy Clothing

Men have far bigger egos and more self-esteem than women, which means that they often do not see themselves as they really are. Even if they’re cheating, beating, stealing, and generally dishonest, these guys would STILL sit there and tell you what a great guy they are. There are so many forums full of disgruntled men that blame ‘bitches’ that love Bad Boys for everything that’s wrong with their universe who have decided that they’re not playing nice and they’ll sleep with prostitutes from now on…What’s so nice about this?

Quick solution: These men need to get real about who they are and stop fronting. Only then might they actually learn to deal with their assclown selves.

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‘Average’ Men Turned Upside Down

I believe that you can pretty much divide men into three camps: Nice Guys, Bad Boys and Mr Unavailable’s, but many women talk about ‘average men’, usually with disdain. Average by its very nature implies middle of the road, nothing special and to many women, it’s not a very attractive prospect. Combined with the fact that Bad Boys and Mr Unavailable’s are still a more attractive prospect for most women, and bingo, you get screwed-up-central. But is average really that bad and who is the ‘average’ guy?

If you look up ‘average’ in a Thesaurus you get some of the following:

Standard; regular; normal; usual; typical; common; middling; run of the mill; ordinary

At a glance, most of these words will send a shudder through most women because there is this fear of ‘settling’ and that’s what being with a so-called average man implies. We’re so caught up in chasing fireworks, drama, The One, It, excitement, our visual of perfection, criteria on a master list and much more that it’s no wonder it is easy to cast off a perfectly nice guy in favour of going to the greener grass on the other side.

The reality is that most women wouldn’t know an average man if it slapped them in the face, but the term gets used to blanket cover men that aren’t deemed to be hot in the looks and personality department. If you’re calling someone average it’s because you’re looking at them from a superficial, shallow perspective. One woman’s ‘average’ man is another woman’s dreamboat.

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