Can a Booty Call Grow Into a Relationship?
August 9, 2007 by NML · 8 Comments
Booty Call: This is when someone has the ability to flex their dialing finger and call up a certain person solely for the purpose of a shag. It tends to be late at night, it’s most definitely casual, no strings fun, and it relies on either both parties being grown up enough to know the deal and enjoy it for what it is, or for one person to be clever enough to let the other think that they’re getting more than they are, when all they’re looking for is boo-tay.
On the very basis that booty calls relies on the parties using each other for sex and you being flexible enough not to mind, why the hell would you want it to turn into a relationship? If you’re doing the booty call right, you don’t know enough about their character or personality to warrant even considering having a relationship. Technically all you know is that they screw well (God help you if you’re having a crap sex with a booty call…) and that when it comes to getting free and easy sex without any hassle, they can be punctual about arriving, and even more punctual about beating a hasty retreat to their own home, so that you can finish getting a good nights sleep. If you’ve been talking and getting to know each other…you just aren’t doing it right!
Booty calls are about using people for sex and whilst it’s a case of each to their own, it’s not a great advertisement for a person. Trust me when I say that booty calls are not something that everybody indulges in. The fact that all he wants to do is rock up when he gets hard, stick it to you and then leave, shouldn’t have you hankering for a relationship!
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Casual Sex Between Friends
July 5, 2007 by Cheekie · 20 Comments
Ah yes, CSBF. It can save your life, save your sanity, allow you to relax, and seem less desperate. But is it healthy? Let’s investigate a little further. First off, for those of you unfamiliar with the term, CSBF= Casual Sex Between Friends, now on with the pro’s/con’s.
Pro’s:
• Sex
• Drunken silly meaningless sex
• Hot drunken silly meaningless sex
• Having a friend to talk to
• He leaves when it’s done
• Being able to relax during sex and do things you would normally never do for fear of not being a “good girl”
• Calls at 1am (either way)
• No strings attached
• Being able to date without the sex urge, so you can get to know someone knowing you can always “get it” when you need it
• Avoiding the aura of desperateness
• Did I mention hot sex?
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So Your Man is Pressuring You For Anal Sex
June 1, 2007 by NML · Leave a Comment
Pressuring means different things to different people – trust me, it isn’t just making the request once – But how do you manage the issue of backdoor entry when you don’t want to do it?
Anal sex reminds me of threesomes in that both acts get thrown on the menu on the off chance that someone will say yes, and anal sex does seem to have replaced the threesome as the sex act request of choice. Being pressured to do any type of sexual act is not a pleasant experience, but I can’t imagine how it must feel when someone’s trying to get you to say yes to them going up your ass when you REALLY don’t want it. I imagine you clench up just out of fear!
If you feel pressured to have anal sex, bear the following in mind…
Pressure is when someone is making the request repeatedly, cajoling, manipulating, arguing, wheedling, and generally making you feel like this is something that you HAVE to do or there will be a negative result. It isn’t pressure when he made a polite request and backed off.
Are you pressuring yourself? Sometimes, despite your partner accepting your decline, you’re still anxious about the repercussions of not fulfilling the request. This tends to occur when there may already be insecurities in place and this situation just aggravates it. Or are you a woman that think too much? Wouldn’t it be better to accept your own answer and his reaction and leave it at that? Might as well you have anal sex if you’re imagination is going to run wild!
Read more
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When He’s Not in the Mood for Sex
May 24, 2007 by Rose City Girl · 1 Comment
There seems to be a lot of focus on women not being in the mood for sex these days. Everything from television sitcoms, magazine articles, talk shows, and books deal with low sex drive in women. But what if the problem is the man? Women are taught at an early age that men are sex machines; driven by animalistic instincts to have sex whenever and wherever possible. After all, a man would never turn down sex right?
Wrong. Men are just as at risk for low libido as women. However, it’s a “problem” that seems to be overlooked. Statistics say that 20 to 25 percent of men suffer from a low sex drive. If these numbers are correct, there are a lot more women suffering than we realise. When our partners aren’t in the mood over a period of time, this can have a devastating effect on a relationship as well as for the person being constantly rejected. Before you panic, take heed as there are many reasons for low libido in men.
1. Stress and anxiety. These are sex zappers. People react to stress in different ways and it is not uncommon for a stressed person to not feel in the mood. Job, family, money, and health can all make sex take a back seat. Often when the source of stress or anxiety is eliminated, sex will return.
2. Medication. There are numerous medications that cause low libido as a side effect and some of them include antidepressants, anti-anxiety, Propecia (for hair loss) and some heart medications. Ask a doctor if similar medications with less sexual side effects are available. For instance, Wellbutrin has the least sexual side effects of all the antidepressants.
3. Boredom in the bedroom. As couples lose the “warm fuzzies” of a new relationship, sex can often become boring. If this is the case, it’s time to introduce something new. I don’t mean that you necessarily have to swing from the chandelier (could be fun though!) but bringing in a new sex toy, some dirty talk, or video, might be just what you both need to get the juices flowing. No pun intended.
4. Body Issues. Women forget that men can have body issues just as we women do. If he is focusing on his beer belly more than you, you can pretty much guarantee no sex. Bad body image usually goes hand in hand about how one feels about sex. Often getting a simple exercise regime will help this. If the issues go deeper, its time to seek therapy.
5. Infidelity. Sorry ladies but this has to be mentioned. If he is getting it somewhere else then he may not be interested in getting it at home. Certainly this should not be the first thing that you think of when sex drive has gone down however, if there are other signs that he may be cheating, you may want to investigate further.
It is also important to note that low libido is not the same as sexual dysfunction. A low libido means one has low interest in sex while sexual dysfunction is the lack of response to sex; for instance, inability to have an erection. While these are two different issues, sexual dysfunction can be another reason for low libido in men.
Certainly the above list is not conclusive but they are some of the reasons your man may not be ready to roll in the hay. It is important to remember that like all things in a relationship, sex can wax and wane. If the relationship is for the most part healthy, meaning there are no underlying emotional issues one has with their partner, a short break in sex isn’t the end of the world. In fact, it can make the next time, that much more exciting.
This post was contributed by Rose City Girl. She’s a fine food and wine loving mixed media artist that travels a lot and stays away from men that mistreat her!
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Tips for Sending Dirty Emails To Your Lover
Don’t do it on work email! Some companies have very strict email policies but you may also get the content put through a filter which could be very embarrassing if it gets flagged up.
Only send these emails to a trusted lover. Trust me when I say that if you are sending these types of emails to a guy that could fit into the ‘prick’ category, he may not be the only person that’s reading them. You don’t want to find that your well intentioned email has become an email forward winging its way around the world.
Build up the ‘dirt’ over a few emails, especially if you’ve not emailed each other like this before. It might be better to start with ‘I’ve been thinking about you bending me over the kitchen table and taking me from behind’ rather than ‘I want you to tie me up and strangle me’…. You can start out by stating what you want and then using subsequent emails to expand into the finer details. By doing this, it gives him the opportunity to ask questions like “What will you be wearing?’ etc.
Be descriptive. It’s a bit pointless going to the trouble of sending a ‘dirty’ email if you’re going to be tame. The great thing about writing an email is that you don’t have to get all tongue tied and you can be as explicit as you like without having to see facial expressions. Tell him:
- what you’ll be wearing. Don’t say ‘I’ll be wearing underwear’ say ‘I’ll be wearing silk knickers with a suspender belt over them, high heels and peep show bra’
- when this will be happening
- where
- what you want him to do
- what you want to do to him
- any specific instructions (no talking, for instance)
Drip feed these details to build up the anticipation!
Check that you’re sending it to the correct person. I don’t know what it is, but when you need to send something dirty or secretive, you can somehow find yourself accidentally sending it to an ex lover or even a parent! If you’re multi-tasking whilst writing your email, double-check that you’re sending it to the right person!
You can continue offline by having Post-It notes leading to the bedroom, or text messages on the way to your get together.
Also check out general tips for talking dirty in Talking Dirty to Your Man (The Starter Edition)
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Vortex Vibrations Suction Vacuum Cleaner Vibrator
Jaysus what a mouthful of a name…or should I say what a vagina full…. I always think I can’t be shocked further by sex toy products and then I get to hear about this product which attaches to your vacuum cleaner and lets the flow of air stimulate the clitoris. Is it just me that doesn’t want to mix household products and sexual gratification? Or should I regard this as multi-tasking and the enhancing of ‘product features’?
This patent-pending toy is made up of two ‘units’ - The Introducer and The Seducer. The first has a single opening which causes a stronger suction which apparently gives prolonged orgasms of up to a minute and ideal for using initially to create a build up of orgasm. The latter unit has gives an increased air flow which the clitoris gets caught up in (I don’t think they mean literally ‘caught’) and vibrates at a rapid speed, for a rapid orgasm.
Something suggests that with the promise of this type of orgasm, there won’t be much housework going on!
Available from Lovehoney for £34.99/$69.19/euro 51.09. Check out the video on YouTube
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Holding The Sex In the Early stages of Dating
I know a lot of people that have sex whilst dating and whilst it’s different strokes for different folks, the majority of what I hear from people who do this is that it complicates things and sometimes ruins it. If it’s worked for you, great, don’t bother to read this, but if you think that something is going awry with your dating, keep reading.
1. Connect mentally first before you connect physically
Some people can have great sex with people that they’ve barely known a hot minute, but for most folk, the more at ease, the better they know someone, the better the physical connection, the better the sex. If you are dating with a view to finding a potential partner for a relationship then sex shouldn’t be the primary thing on the agenda.
2. Put the libido on the backburner
Lust and libido cloud judgment. Fact. Everything will feel great when your body is sizzling, but what are you missing and what about afterwards? In our quest to cement the meeting in the bedroom, we often sit on dates ignoring very clear red flag behaviour, or at the very least, things that should raise a question mark. Instead we shag first, think later.
3. Avoid The Justifying Zone
The Justifying Zone (TJZ) is that slippery slope that you spend your time on after you sleep with someone too soon. You need to justify the decision to sleep with him to yourself so that you feel that you have a genuine reason for sleeping with them and for also continuing to put energy into the relationship. The Justifying Zone enables you to find reasons and loopholes to keep flogging a dead horse. Sometimes women find themselves on this slippery slope without even having had sex because instead of focusing on the orgasmic time, they focus on that first few weeks when they thought that they had an amazing connection and that he was Mr Wonderful. Hence TJZ prevents you from staying in reality and let’s you dine off the potential of your imagination.
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Sponsored Post: Seduction Central
May 9, 2007 by NML · 2 Comments
A name like Seduction Central conjures up a variety of images so I was pleasantly surprised to discover that it wasn’t full of rubber and whips! Instead it’s a blog about the astrology of love, sex and relationships written by Jeffrey Kishner, a licensed psychotherapist and practising astrologer based in New York City.
I very rarely read my horoscopes and know very little about astrology, despite being given several books, and my only reservation about the subject, is that I come across readers all the time who place a lot of stock in astrology as a way to keep them pursuing something that’s not working.
The great thing about Seduction Central is that it’s a combination of tongue-in-cheek and more complex, detailed posts for the serious astrology aficionados. A recent post ‘How to get your Scorpio man to propose?’ had me in stitches laughing from the first tip “Come from a wealthy family. Scorpio has an incentive to marry into money, because then he gets half. Don’t ask him to sign a pre-nup — he will feel you don’t trust him (which you don’t), and he won’t get his share of the booty after the divorce.”
I recoiled in horror when I saw the crude title ‘How to Make the Taurus Man Leave Her’ which suggests that he is the least likely guy to leave his girlfriend and that she should go for an available man. What concerns me is that there are 12 zodiac signs, so surely it’s only a matter of time before a strategy is provided for the star sign that is most likely to leave?
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Sex Toys - What’s New!
Taffy Tickler Bullet
This mini vibrator looks like something that could take a swim in your fishtank! Black and white silicone teasing fingers encase a bullet that delivers the vibrations. Variable speeds and pretty quiet - It even cups the clitoris
Available from Babeland $30
Toy Joy Caterpillar Rabbit Vibrator
It’s a rabbit. Oh no it’s a caterpillar. Oh hell it’s a vibrator! A caterpillar horned rabbit vibrator to be precise. 7 sensa functions deliver vibrations and pulsing patterns down the shaft and clitoral stimulator.
Available from Lovehoney for £34.99, $69.62 or Euro 51.58
Love Labs Stud Strap Delay Control for Men
If you’ve been using delay sprays or delay condoms, this patent pending solution is the ideal replacement. Apparently the testicles rise when orgasm is approaching and if you give this strap a tug, it pulls them back down and delays orgasm. Plus you get to make him look bigger. Someone has actually described this as ‘a remote control for men’. Unfortunately this remote only applies to delaying orgasm…
Available from Lovehoney for £6.99, $13.91, or Euro 10.23 in red, black, and white
SexToys TV
OK, this isn’t a sex toy, but Lovehoney have launched their own sex toy TV channel online SexToys TV, the first to bring educational and entertaining sex toy demonstrations to the small screen. My personal favourite was the Doggy Style Strap video - I must admit snickering but it was clear that the strap had its uses…even if it did remind me of a man on a horse….
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Green Sex - Eco-Sex Kit
At the moment it seems like marketing eco-friendly products is the big thing and now its extended its way to sex toy products. You can now do your bit for the environment whilst getting your freak on…
The Eco-Sexy Kit from Babeland contains a Laya Spot Vibrator that is made of elastomer, which is a latex-free and phthalate-free material. The Babeland Massage Candle is made from skin-safe soy which doubles up as warm, scented massage oil (ooh multi-tasking!). The Emerita Natural Lube which moisturises and lubricates, was made without being tested on animals or using any animal derived ingredients, and the Mamba Condoms are produced by a Swedish non-profit whose testing is 15 times more stringent than other condom manufacturers.
Well it seems that green can be sexy….
Available from Babeland for $59 (they ship internationally)
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