Cheating Can Be Healthy for a Relationship. Just AskMen
November 11, 2005 by NML
I’ve got to give it to Curt Smith. He’s being honest even if I still think he’s a twat. It’s one thing to be truthful about why men cheat, but it’s another thing to suggest that it is healthy for the relationship, which is what he does in this article. Does he really expect me to believe that if my partner was cheating on me and sticking it to someone else, that I should regard this as something healthy for the relationship because it can either make the guy realise his mistake and he appreciates you more, or he realises how bad things are and finishes it?
“ When men cheat, it basically means that they are looking for something their girlfriend or wife is not providing. Often times, it comes down to sex.” Never? I would never have suspected it! I thought it was because we don’t give them enough hot dinners….
“ Discover the benefits of cheating… “ he writes and I wonder if he’s on crack as he sounds like he’s selling me a holiday home instead of selling the idea that giving someone other than your partner a good seeing to is a great thing.
The article looks at the three key areas that push a man into cheating: ‘Men are explorers’, ‘Home sweet home’ and ‘Nothing lasts forever’.
‘Men are explorers’
Until he ‘gets bored’ again and has another exploration…..
“This prevents them from being unfaithful later on when the stakes are higher (like when they have a family).” Does it? In whose universe?
Why should we give men carte blanche to cheat whilst they discover themselves and what they want? Can you imagine rollicking your guy for cheating on you and he says “But baby. I did it for you. I did it for us. I appreciate you so much better now and I know what I have.”? He’d better remember it well because it’d be the last he’d see of me.
I know of many a relationship that recovers from cheating but they don’t when the ‘guilty’ party thinks that he’s doing her a big favour by screwing someone else. It also tends to be easier to forgive if it’s once, but how often does one need to explore before you pack up their stuff and send them on a permanent hitch hike?
‘Home sweet home’ covers the male aptitude to not appreciate the woman they do have because the grass seems greener on the other side and the current relationship seems old.
“Men forget how wonderful it feels to have someone who loves them unconditionally.”
Yes they do and it seems that the unconditional love is exactly what is being relied upon. After all, you’re not actually gambling your relationship if you know that there is someone who loves you unconditionally to forgive you after you’ve cheated. Does he love her unconditionally though? Surely if he did, even when the relationship has passed that new phase and has gone into ‘rut’ territory he’d love her unconditionally and work on the relationship as opposed to working his penis elsewhere?
“ Because the lust factor has worn away and the reality didn’t measure up to the fantasy. Instead, they remember the good reality; the woman who loves them, bakes them cookies and makes love to them. The old saying “you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone” says it all.”
Well if they don’t actually appreciate it in the first place it’s no wonder!
‘Nothing lasts forever’ explains that cheating is sometimes needed to crystallise that secret realisation that your relationship isn’t working and also that most relationships, in fact 95% according to Curt don’t last.
“When you do break up, you will probably have a lot of regrets, especially concerning all the girls you missed out on — especially if she’s a six-foot tall Swedish model.”
I agree that we go through a lot of relationships and that if you’re cheating on your partner something definitely isn’t right, however, if we all took this attitude about the durability of the average relationship we would never make any relationship last the distance. Have we really become so cynical that the possibility that we have missed out on bonking off a hottie should be a reason for ‘exploring’? How can we ever make a relationship work if we don’t believe in making a relationship last long term because 95% don’t? Plus if it’s just plain old lusting after something new or a phobia of commitment that he’d have no matter who he was with, does that mean that there’s something wrong with the relationship, or that there’s something wrong with him?
I think Curt gives a relatively honest insight into why men cheat, however he completely lets himself down when he says that cheating is something healthy for the relationship. Women do cheat too but I don’t actually think that they’re stupid enough to think that they’re doing the relationship a favour. Good on you Curt for proving that the penis is a dangerous tool for thinking!
Read the original article here
Originally read via Don’t Date Him Girl
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