Dating - Back to Basics
I recently started a new fitness routine thanks to my boss/personal trainer. I had been working out with machines for what seems like forever, but had stopped seeing any real progress. He asked me to do some push-ups and I could barely squeeze out three. This is when he decided to take me off the machines and bring me back to the basics, tricep dips, push-ups, crunches, lunges, squats, sprints, all body weight exercises.
The routine has been killing me, but I feel great and I’m really seeing results. What I’m getting at is that sometimes we think all the fancy stuff is what is really helping us, when in fact we really just need to focus on the basics. This is true with many things besides fitness, for example writing, eating, dressing, and of course dating.
So this brings me to my point; that we need to drop all the fancy dating stuff that we have picked up over the years and just go back to the basics. The first, and most important thing to remember when putting yourself on the dating market is that if you are not happy with yourself you will never be happy with someone else.
Many people forget that half of the relationship is up to you, so if you are miserable with yourself and where you are with your life you need to first focus on yourself and make the changes that will have you feeling better. Remember, you can’t expect anyone else to be happy with you if you can’t be happy with yourself.
Now that you are happy with yourself, it’s time to think about the way you look. I don’t know many people who would approach a potential date when they don’t even want to look at their own reflection in the mirror. When going out don’t just reach for those sweats and baggy shirts, even if you’re just running to the corner store, make a little bit of an
effort to look cute. You never know who you will run into, and we all know how much more confident we feel when we know we look good.
The next thing to remember is to make yourself available. You’re not going to meet anyone by sitting at home in front of the TV every night. Get out, do things, meet new people, enjoy yourself, your chances of meeting someone interesting will multiply when you just show up.
Now that you have made yourself available, it is up to you to take the opportunities as they come your way. Why spend the evening eyeing that guy across the room when all you’re gonna do is shyly smile and look away every time he glances your way. Maybe there is a good chance that he will approach you, but if you see him smiling back why not take the opportunity to approach him?
Make it easier for yourself. If he is near the bathroom then maybe it’s time to freshen up; near the bar, time to buy a drink; near the DJ booth, it turns out there’s a song you just have to hear. You may not need an excuse to approach him, but it might make it a little easier. Finally, the last thing to remember is to just be yourself. If you are trying too hard to impress it will show. The worst thing you can do is to not be true to you. Even if you do score a date with your target, once he finds out that he wasn’t talking to the real you the relationship probably won’t go much farther.
Now that you have some basics ideas to work with, go out and try your new routine. Throw some of your fancy moves in here and there for good measure, but don’t ever forget to do what feels right for you and go with what works.
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