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I was choking on my breakfast as I read these date suggestions which are supposed to leave a lasting impression over at The Whoracle (what a name) which is part of the Oracle for Henderson State University. These will leave an impression alright…it just won’t be a good one…
“*Use your fake Sam’s Club card to get a free meal: hit up the sample stands. Bring wigs and jackets so you can hit the stands again without being discovered. She’ll appreciate how frugal you are.
*Take her to the hospital. Rubberneck in the ER for a while before showing her your favorite section: the nursery. Say, “I want one of those as soon as possible,” and gaze longingly into her eyes. Every girl likes a guy who likes babies.
*Arrange a tour through a meat-packing plant, supplementing the tour with as many graphic facts as possible. After the tour, take her to get hot dogs. Remind her of all the interesting things you learned in the tour. Knowledge is sexy.
*Invite her over to the weekly Madden tournament you hold with your buddies. Ignore her. If she asks to play, tell her she’ll mess up the rotation. At some point when you get up to pee, toss her a soda. Don’t ask her what kind she likes; girls like decisive guys.
*Take her camping, especially if she’s a city girl and it’s cold. Take her for a 10-mile nature hike and point out any nasty-looking or dangerous bugs you find. “Forget” to bring two sleeping bags and suggest you share the one. Bring beans for dinner. The closeness will warm her heart.
*Prepare a quiet dinner in your yet-to-be-fixed-up fixer-upper apartment. Spread a blanket out on the floor, the grungier the better. Tell her you prefer the “noise” method to get rid of pests: get on your hands and knees and scream at any roaches you see. Don’t try to cook anything special – the Ramen and warm soda will let her know you’re not being fake.
*Take her to meet your parents. Make sure your parents are fully equipped with a lengthy slideshow of pictures of you growing up, complete with all the sappy pictures of you and your ex-girlfriends. Have an extensive list of highly personal background questions. The goal is to know EVERYTHING about her.
*Find out what she dislikes and help her be less closed-minded. Is she a pacifist? Take her to a boxing match. Is she a heavy metal fan? Get tickets to an opera. Is she a devout Christian? Find some Wiccans and practice majick with them. She’ll thank you for opening her up to new experiences.
*For a date she’ll never forget, take her to a tattoo shop to get matching tattoos. If she balks at the idea, get her name and face tattooed really big on you. It’ll show her you’re really into her.
*Take her to your girlfriend’s basketball game.”
They should rename the article “How to kill off the possibility of a second date…”
[tags]creative dates, date, date idea, date ideas [/tags]
[dels]creative dates, date, date idea, date ideas [/dels]
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
Well that’s funny, but obviously a joke…
There is just no way that any sane person would think that was a good idea.
What a list! As satire this list is .. twisted, and as bad examples, I really hope no one thought any of these would be a good idea.
I looked for pattern, here, and I think most of the conclusions are reasonable. But the examples show a lack of respect for self and others, and an arrogance that idealizes (badly misunderstood) principles over understanding your guest. A date is an exercise in hospitality first, and foremost. You have to know and accomodate your guest for the guest to feel treasured.
Meatpacking plant. Ugh.
I found some smart first date tips on AOL Personals site:
http://personals.aol.com/dating-advice/sugar-spice/first-date-hit-on/?ncid=AOLCOMMloveSEOIseoi0001