Comments on: Did I chase or scare him away?

By: Sindh

Sindh — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 06:37:17 +0000

Oh ny the way does this sound like a committed relationship to anyone reading these blogs coz he told me it was and I should be happy for it.

By: Sindh

Sindh — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 06:35:47 +0000

Oh ny the way he told me that this was a committed relationship and I was never happy with all he gave me, I wonder what that was.

By: Sindh

Sindh — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 06:16:50 +0000

Dear NML
As always you are on the spot. Nothing works with these kindda men. I asked for absolutely nothing, gave him all and the best of what I got. Long distant and seeing each other maybe 5 days every month or two, he NEVER contributed financially or emotionally and yet I stood by him for 20 months. And yet he tells me I am ” Always in His Face” how did I do that from 1500 miles away I wonder. I was always a needy insecure drama queen, ah but wait one hot cold minute here, I was paying my bills, all my calls to him as well all my travel expenses to go see him when he came down not to mention serving me up on the platter as well. It does not matter, its all about tearing someone down to build themselves up. Imagine he was coming up on chat pretending to be someone else and then wham accusses me of cheating on him – unfreekin-belieave.
There was no moment, there was a whole lot of drama, not mine but his but I went from a extrovert, independent, funny, intelligent girl to someone I don’t even know anymore, I am still somewhere in there I know, just got lost in all the drama. It takes so much strength to put our foot down and walk away and never look back . Not easy but it can be done.

By: Astelle

Astelle — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 21:52:21 +0000

need advise, read NML’s posts about cutting contact. Ignore his contacts and one day he will stop and leave you alone, if not, like you said you will go around and around for years and that will prevent you from meeting a better guy.

By: need advise

need advise — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 19:55:09 +0000

I have been in an untitled thingy for the past 8 months with a definite EUM (which I have had these kind of men before). The difference this time is that I recognized early in the relationship that this was not for me, but I CHOSE to continue for who knows why: lonely, horney, etc. The crazy thing about it though was up until 2 months ago….I was doing all the sexual pleasing and received NOTHING from him. Looking back on it, that’s utterly craziness! Think it goes back to being able to give Love but not receive it which makes it easy to be with an EUM. I’ve tried a few times to break things off using what I thought was just plain old logic but he ALWAYS calls me until he gets a response from me which eventually happens and then we go round and round again. I have never given him any drama unlike my past EUM relationships even though there have been many occasions that would validate me doing so as far as calling him on things.
I am now at a place(I think) where I just need to get out and I struggle big time with what or how much to say to him. I would love to tell him all the things that have been in my heart and how it’s been riped apart a million times, but the other side of me just wants to say, ” ya know I just need to step away from this whatever we’re calling this thing and regroup and I really need for you to stop calling me indefinitely”. I don’t know if that would do it for him though, trying to approach it like I’m coming from a friends stand point and asking him to do this if he is a friend. I don’t want to give him the satifaction of thinking that he really hurt me terribly. Any thoughts?

By: Mack

Mack — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 17:34:15 +0000

Thank you so much for this post. Today I received an e-mail from my EUM assholish ex. He said “do you realize you threw me off by your insecurity”. Sure, it was all my fault )). While he was the very guy that provoked the hell out of me. Even nowadays (5 months after breakup with full no-contact from me) he blows hot and cold: he sends s hot “i love you more than anyone ever” mail, in a few days followed my a cold “it’s all your fault” BS.
Thank you for the website. It helped me a lot through all of this.