Differences Between Laundry Basket & Floor

October 22, 2005 by NML

Let’s do a quick pop quiz.
Where should you put dirty clothes?
Where you should put wet dirty towels?
If you don’t put them where they are supposed to go, who tidies up after you?

The answer to the first two should be the laundry basket/hamper and the last one should be your significant other. Now if you answered ‘I dunno’ or ‘the floor’ to the first two questions, then it is likely that you are wearing on your significant others last nerve. When you dump your clothes or wet towels on the floor, who exactly do you expect to come and pick up after you? Your mum? You are not a teenage dirtbag baby, and your woman is not your mum, and the home you live in, isn’t a teenage bedroom that reeks of boy and has porn mags hidden all over the place.
What is this? It’s a laundry basket!
This is a common laundry basket for holding dirty clothes. I don’t think it’s possible that you’ve never seen one and if you look closely at the picture, the basket does not appear to have arms or feet that walk to your dirty clothes, pick them up and place them in the basket.

The next time you prepare to walk away from a floor which has either your clothes or wet towels on it or both, think about the following things:

Who is going to pick this up for you? If you have a maid, great, if you have a significant other, you need to ask yourself:

a) Is it likely that she is going to be pissed off with me if I leave these here?
b) Has she told me repeatedly to pick up my stuff?

How long is this actually going to take me to pick them up and put them in the rightful place, i.e. in the laundry basket, or if the towel just needs to dry, on the towel rail? The answer is likely to be a very small amount of time!

A small piece of advice from me: Just because you have a significant other, it doesn’t mean that you have lost the use of your hands and feet and that you shouldn’t help yourself and take responsibility for the mess that you make. Even if she is picking them up and not saying anything to you, trust me,it is unlikely that she likes the fact that you can’t even pick up your dirty boxers off the floor and put them in the basket. Helping yourself actually scores brownie points with the ladies!

And just in case there is any doubt as to what needs to be done, let me spell it out for you:

1. Bend over and pick up the items off the floor.
2. Raise yourself back into the upright position.
3. Locate the laundry basket and walk to it. If you don’t know where it is, you need a serious wake up call like a wet towel across your arse and a frosty reception from your significant other.
4. If you have a wet towel that you’ve used a few times put it on the towel rail, or looks like it is in need of wash (surely you can tell - check for dodgy smells), put it in the basket.
5. If the towel is wetter than the shower that you have just had, fold it and put on the towel rail. Leaving it on the floor or putting in the basket to mulch all of the other items inside it, is probably not the best of ideas….