The problem I have with the DADT concept, is that is the same relationship a john has with a prostitute (except I understand many prostitutes also hear about everything in the john’s life, but that is the other side of *that* relationship).

The difference between don’t ask/don’t tell and a plural marriage is vast. DADT, sleeping around, or open relationship — that all destroys communication among relationships. At least with a plural marriage or relationship, where everyone involved is actively involved and communicating, there is opportunity for growth individually and together. With a plural relationship there is no division of attention, nurturing, or schizophrenic-like division of life from ‘with this one’ to ‘with that one’. Energy isn’t wasted living separate lives with different sex partners.

Of course, I just watched ‘Paint Your Wagon’ with Lee Marvin, who buys a Mormon’s second wife — to share with his Pardner (Clint Eastwood).

An open relationship, or DADT, seems to be a declaration that the primary relationship is dead, no more energy will be put into each other, and that attention and energy will be withdrawn to spend with others. Something like, ‘I have gotten comfortable sharing the rent with you, but I don’t think this is where my life is.’ A wimped-out separation, of sorts.