Don’t Do It! - Talking to Breasts

October 22, 2005 by NML

For any man out there that does this, I think they should know that women know know when a man is talking to their breasts. It’s actually rather disconcerting and a woman’s natural self-doubt naturally creeps in and says, ‘No, he can’t possibly be talking to my breasts’, and soon after it sinks in that he really is looking at her breasts.

There are distinct signs that a man is talking to your breasts:

Because he’s looking right at them and doesn’t have the good grace to disguise it.

He says the word ‘breast’ when he means to say something different.

He looks up hastily and blushes a bit when you finally manage to catch his eye.

Whilst I am happy with my boobs, I don’t think they warrant a conversation, and most women I know will agree with me. My breasts don’t have an opinion or an ounce of intelligence. Believe me, if they did, they’d know know that I hate when PMT makes them sore!

I know men that can’t recall certain women’s names, but name them as ‘The one with the big knockers’, ‘The one with the massive tits’ or ‘Oh yeah, the one that has no tits.’ Unless we have had personally seen it, women don’t often have the opportunity to refer to a guy as ‘The one with the big dick’ or ‘The one with the cocktail sausage’ and even if we did, it wouldn’t mean anything unless the women you were saying it to had also seen his penis.

I know it’s hard when the breasts can be seen because she’s showing a little cleavage and there are certain breast sizes that are difficult to disguise, plus there are women who show a hell of a lot of breast, but as a general rule, keep your eyes firmly on her face. It’s not very nice when we see you looking at our breasts, it’s disrespectful and for some women it makes them feel insecure.

A few handy rules to keep you out of trouble

Avoid doing it at work. Eye up the wrong pair and you could find yourself having a ‘chat’ in HR.

If the woman is dating/going out with one of your mates, no matter how tempting it is, don’t stare at them. Much as lots of guys may be doing it, they don’t want to think that you’re checking out their girlfriends.

Don’t stare at the breasts of friends of your significant other. Common sense you’d think, yet I see guys do it all the time and it doesn’t make for good conversation when you get put in the spare room later on.

Don’t eye up the breasts of female relatives of your significant other. This is something that you don’t want to keep in the family!