Comments on: Drama Management Quick Tips

By: Niamh

Niamh — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 21:42:10 +0000

Phoning a sane friend helped me loads. When I was freaking out because my ex suddenly refused to call I rang her instead and she talked sense to me. I did exactly what she said and was glad I did. I trust her more than my crazy self.

Exercise doesn’t solve the problem. I did yoga obsessively. Harmless or beneficial from the outside it was just swapping one obsession for another. I did hours of it every day and freaked when I couldn’t find time for it. I just found something else to be crazy over.

How do you really lose these triggers? Can they ever go?

By: Kj

Kj — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 00:27:42 +0000

…and why do I keep checking the damn directory to see if he’s online? Like it’s going to do anything positive. Dunno… but most likely addicted . Dayum.

Until Feb I was so far above all this… what happened to me?

By: Kj

Kj — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 22:00:49 +0000

Can’t help but to do the ol’ rationalizing… “if it wern’t for me doign the drama thing” but really… when I look back, I think he started playing games with me from the beginnning. GRRRRR I can’t belive I let him get to me!!!!

By: cheekie

cheekie — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 20:57:40 +0000

Hey Kj
Don’t be embarrassed! Stop that silliness right now!

You are human, and part of being human is making the occasional mistake, and allowing ourselves to lose control. It’s really really normal!
You just have to remind yourself that what you are feeling is normal. It’s how you act on it that makes the difference between normal and drama queen!
Keep up the ncr, for you, stop worrying about him. Make YOU feel better.
xo

By: Kj

Kj — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 20:34:13 +0000

I totally relate. My online guy drew the drama out of me.. and basically I turned in to something I never knew was there…. now I’m incredibly embarassed and he’s gone silent so I guess he’s “gone” I just need to keep the NCR alive and well and I will be fine.. UGH!

By: Kim

Kim — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 18:12:24 +0000

I have to say this site is saving my a** too & I so appreciate it & everyone sharing their stories. I felt like I was falling into a black hole & wondered what the hell was wrong. I gain more & more strength just from knowing I am not alone as I have never run into an EUM before & thought I was freakin’ nuts. I used to ignore my EUM at every turn whenever he blew me off. I didn’t understand what he was doing & ignoring him was the only thing that brought the loser around. I just assumed he was selfish. When it ended I wondered if he withdrew because of “drama seeking” from me but I still haven’t figured my trigger out.

By: GiaNYC

GiaNYC — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 02:26:56 +0000

You’re totally right Cheekie…he’s very full of himself and prideful so the last thing he wants to do is leave a vm or a txt so that if I dont return them he wont feel ‘rejected’. But what the a**hole doesnt realize is that even tho he doesnt leave a vm Im still rejecting him bc obviously his # is on my caller ID. I have to say around this time 2wks ago I was a MESS!!! Never did I think I would be laughing and eating normally..this site has been a TREMENDOUS help-thank you all for letting me into ur worlds which sounds so damn familiar to mine

By: cheekie

cheekie — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 20:51:24 +0000

Sounds like he’s on a ‘fishing’ expedition to me GiaNYC…you know, he doesn’t leave msgs because he isn’t sure how you will react. So he is waiting till you pick up and he can tell by the ‘tone’ in your voice. They are all such chickensh*ts these EUM’s…
lol

By: GiaNYC

GiaNYC — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 19:55:55 +0000

All this is sooooo true. I just started excercising again everyday after work and its an amazing stress release. Tho I have to admit I was just about to turn into an Oscar winning drama queen a few minutes ago. My EUM called me yesterday morning but didnt leave a voicemail. I hate it bc I went out this wknd for the first time since our break up (5weeks ago) and I felt good, positive (yes girls it DOES get better, time is a healer, Im even surprised) I got home @ 6am, with a few potential date candidates phone #s..I slept until 2pm and BOOM I look @ my phone and HIS # is on my missed call log (I deleted all his info when i left him, but i still know it by heart). The high I felt from my evening before dropped. Its as if he KNEW I was getting over him. In total he’s called me 3times in the 5weeks since we parted. But then Im left wondering: “why no voicemail, why no texts ?” If he REALLY wanted to speak to me he would do more than just call and not leave mssgs. So toaday I felt like txtng him and saying “hey I saw u called me y’day” but then what would be the point..right now im @ a 4/5 and if i call him I KNOW we will shoot up to a 10 only to bring me down to a 1 after we are done. If anything I feel a lil more empowered bc now for whatever reason HE’s the one chasing me.. Girls stay strong!!!

By: Astelle

Astelle — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 22:00:36 +0000

I used to be drama queen with my ex-husband, whom I now beleive to be an EMU and or narcissit. After the divorce – whenever he didn’t follow thru with something regarding the kids, I would call him and tell him off.
After posting here and learning things, I also somewhat applied the no contact rule with him.
Now I am getting e-mails like: hey I have extra time this weekend, anything I can do for you or the kids? He hates to be ignored, bad attention or good intention, he wants it.
Drama doesn’t work, I had to learn that there is no reasoning with the ex husband, so I leave him alone!

By: cheekie

cheekie — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 19:43:00 +0000

You know what else helps? I find that when I get all antsy and drama-ish, picking up my knitting needles, crochet, sewing…something/anything creative. Write, sketch, go for a walk and take pics in your neighbourhood….whatever.
It’s really good to have an outlet.
Hell, you should see some of my really bad paintings from a few years back when I was in the worlds most drama-filled relationship!
I have kept them, and now I look at them and say ‘WOW, that’s just messed right up, I am sooooo glad I don’t feel like that anymore!’….kinda like a scar from touching a hot stove…

p.s. easier on the bankbook too!!

By: NML

NML — Sat, 05 Apr 2008 13:05:10 +0000

Shopping is a good remedy and it’s good for handling drama that could be potentially off the chain. Obviously don’t do it everytime otherwise you’ll end up exchanging one addiction for another and possibly in debt, but hell, I owe a lot of my handbag and shoe collection to assclowns. If only I could have made them pay for it too! After a while I took to rewarding myself – instead of shopping with each bout, I’d shop when I’d made it through a week or a month without succumbing. Failing that, window shopping and trying on stuff can also be quite therapeutic. As can selling stuff on ebay or shopping on there

By: vikkkiT

vikkkiT — Sat, 05 Apr 2008 12:55:41 +0000

Hey Isis, I was just thinking about shopping as a substitute activity the other day! But is it dangerous? Do you think we might just get addicted to shopping instead?!!

By: Isis

Isis — Sat, 05 Apr 2008 12:19:27 +0000

I’m really enjoying this series so far It’s really helping me stay away from the assclown and start making some real changes. At times, it’s hard. I’ve realized what my triggers are and I’m dealing with them *smiles* Largely due to the fact that I come here every afternoon and have my daily dose of common sense

I itched to contact the EUM earlier, but I knew the euphoria wouldn’t last, instead I went shopping. Made me feel much better.

By: vikkkiT

vikkkiT — Sat, 05 Apr 2008 12:17:42 +0000

Maybe it’s just me, but I find venting makes things worse – it’s like rehearsing the drama – I end up feeling even more intense and emotional than before. But any physical exercise is great – going for a brisk walk, even doing some vigorous housework! In fact now I think of it, that’s what my mum used to do … I only just realized that … wow, this is better than therapy!