Comments on: Drama Seeking Triggers

By: freja

freja — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 03:26:56 +0000

Excellent addition to your already amazing collection of articles – very thought provoking!!! I’ve come back to read it 3 times already.

I am in a time of reflection since the EU assclown has resurfaced after 4 months of no contact, and I am seeing someone else who is totally different. Your thoughts on reacting to fear have hit home with me and I have much processing to do…

By: vikkkiT

vikkkiT — Sat, 05 Apr 2008 00:03:06 +0000

Thinking about this some more, I wonder if I seek drama as a way of dealing with depression. It can work two ways – either I get a rush of energy and stop feeling depressed or else I get something definite to feel depressed about. Both are good …. in a bad sort of way …. but I prefer them to feeling depressed for no reason.

By: vikkkiT

vikkkiT — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 23:31:46 +0000

…. the problem with Drama Seeking is that YOU ACT ON THE FEELING. YOU ACT ON THE FEAR. In a lot of respects, you have no patience …. you just canâ€™t bear the short term feeling and feel like you must REACT to it ….

So true! This is another reason why drama seeking is like an addiction. Learning to wait out short term feelings would help – I’m still working on that. It depends a lot on how I’m feeling about other things too – the more depressed I am, the harder it is to resist those feelings.

By: cheekie

cheekie — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 18:07:43 +0000

Excellent post NML!
Fear is pretty much our motivating factor and the most negative influence on our lives. Across the board.
But especially in relationships, because all insecurity is is fear. All drama is is a control mechanism for that fear. If we put our energy into controlling the drama the same as we put into creating it, well we’ll be way ahead.

We are always going to be afraid. It’s part of being human. But, recognizing it, then dealing with it, not ignoring it but dealing with it, are what is going to get you out of those damn drama situations.

and Ashley, sister, I hear that…but sometimes just the realization of what you WANT to do is enough to drive you forward…even if we don’t all follow our own advice.
Awareness is half the battle!!

By: Ashley

Ashley — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 16:47:43 +0000

Fricken a – I reacted to a drama trigger and ended up in bed with my ex last night. I probably am on relationship crack now – but I don’t feel great. I feel disappointed that I responded to the trigger. On the other hand I had fun with him lasty night although I know nothing meaningful will result. And that is what is making me feel rather blase about the whole thing. I know he can’t offer me more than the occasional impromptu liasion and I need to start acting and believing that I deserve more than that. But not from him. Anyway – a setback for sure. I do hope I don’t fall into needy, weird behavior re; him in a few days. I want to just leave this behing and keep moving forward. Wish I could follow my own advice all the time.