Dressing for dates is a tricky business because not only can bad choices leave us dreadfully uncomfortable but they also create a first and sometimes lingering impression. From looking like an Oompa Loompa, flashing thong, showing too much breast, wearing ill-fitting clothes, to dodgy bodily hair and VPL’s, here is my rough guide to what you should be avoiding and I’ve thrown in a few suggestions too.
You are what you are. This should go without saying, but wear things that suit and flatter you, not the woman that you saw in a magazine a few hours ago.
Wear clothes that fit. It doesn’t matter what size you are, if you wear ill-fitting clothes, you will get unsightly lumps and bumps where you didn’t know you had them.
Dress for the date. This can be difficult if you genuinely have no clue as to where you’re going but don’t go out dressed in the type of gear that you’d reserve for a dinner dance if he’s taking you to the local restaurant. You’ll feel and look out of place which will hamper your mood for the evening.
Tits out, tits in. There’s nothing wrong with being proud of your breasts but unfortunately when we make them the focal point with the clothes that we wear, the guy will make them the focal point with his eyes and sometimes his conversation. Wear a bra that fits, wear a top that fits and go for a hint of cleavage which leaves an air of mystery.
Easy on the fanny-skimmers/growler grazers. Yes I do mean the front one. It’s great that you have a great pair of legs but a skirt or dress that goes a few inches lower than the start of your front fanny is usually a good start.
Leave the tracksuit in the gym bag. No, no, no. JLo can’t do it and neither can you. No matter how great you think you look in that tracksuit, it will fail to impress on the date and a lot of guys seem to have an aversion to women that wear these outside of exercising or the home.
Don’t flash. I detest this in general but keep your thong inside the jeans. Yes they do ride up out of the jeans but you shouldn’t be sporting your thong as day wear for the world and its dog to see.
Less of the clown impressions. If you need a shovel to put it on, don’t wear it. Make up is supposed to enhance, not mask the person within, unless your plan is to hide away. Go for make-up that is more natural with lipstick, eyeliner and mascara to liven things up. If your neck is milky white and your face is orange, you’ve got issues.
I wanted a tan but turned into an Oompa Loompa. Your going on a date, not auditioning for a part in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. It’s probably not a wise idea to try out self-tan or sunbed for the first time when you have to go on a date.
Bad hair day. Sort your barnet out. Skewed wigs, dodgy weaves, unwashed greasy hair, bad hair extensions don’t set the best of impressions. Go for a hairdo that won’t involve you fiddling with it to keep it under control all evening.
White bra, black top. This induces chest pain for me when I see women doing this. Wear purple or something if for some reason you have an aversion to wearing black bras with black tops, but white says you couldn’t be bothered to make the effort and get changed properly.
Bushtucker Trials. Grooming of bodily hair is a good thing. No you probably won’t be showing your beaver on the date, however leg hair, armpit hair should be tamed and shaved if they are going to be visible. Unless he’s said that he has thing for hair on those parts, he probably doesn’t.
Visible Panty Line. Don’t wear knickers that make it look as if you’re storing a parachute in your clothes so that you can jump out the window and make a fast getaway. Wear the appropriate underwear and if you don’t do thong, do seamless.
No Whiff. Jaysus I cringe to think that some people don’t wash in this day and age, but if you’re not going to a date straight from work and get to go home and change, have a shower and smell good. B.O and fillet of fish odour don’t belong on dates. Ugh!
Don’t Play the Ugly Stepsister. Remember when they tried to squeeze their feet in that slipper for the prince? Don’t go out on a date in a pair of shoes that are ill fitting whether that’s way too small or way too big. Guys don’t get it and you’ll look odd doing your Whoopi Goldberg/Tina Turner walk and not very flattering.
Some suggestions
Work outfits – Sometimes you have to go straight from work and this can relieve the hassle of faffing around deciding what to wear. You can accessorise the outfit to make it more evening style and if you’re in full suit, you can always leave the jacket behind and put on a really nice cardigan or pashmina. Skirt, shirt and heels, skirt, shirt and FMB’s (F*ck me boots/knee high boots), or trousers and a nice top/shirt.
Jeans – They are the life saver of most going out outfits but some are more suitable for dating than others. Avoid really baggy, casual styles that are suited to the grungy trainer look and go for well cut jeans that flatter your bum, thighs and legs and look great with heels, boots or even flats like ballet pumps. Denim skirts at a flattering length to suit your frame and legs also go down a treat.
Dresses – It depends on where you’re going but wrap-around dresses are great and instantly sexy. Avoid the pantyhose line by wearing hold-ups and depending on the style wear a nice slinky vest underneath in either a contrasting but flattering colour, or the same colour as the dress. These dresses look fab with heels, knee high boots, or certain styles of flat shoes like ballet pumps but it is key to wear a style that suits your leg.
Tops & Shirts – There is such a vast array of styles out there that you should be able to find at least one style that suits you and buy several so that you’re never stuck for a date outfit. Pretty and feminine, slinky and sexy, loose but hugs the boobs, and a multitude of fabrics means that there has never been a better time to dress. I tend to prefer short-sleeved and figure hugging (but not ill-fitting) with a nice cardigan, because if you get too hot, you can remove one of them and still look good. Tight black shirts can be very sexy and flattering. If in doubt, try on lots of different styles till you find that look that suits you.
Good luck 
NML is the editor of Baggage Reclaim
NML is the editor of Baggage Reclaim
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