FAQ Comments

I posted a comment and it hasn’t appeared yet.

All comments are moderated and you should have seen a message on the screen saying ‘Awaiting Moderation’ after you posted.

How long does it take for comments to be approved?

Depending on the time of day (I’m based in the UK), it can take up to 24 hours although generally they’re approved between 1-3 hours. Weekends may take a bit longer plus obviously when I’m asleep, comments won’t be approved overnight.

My comment definitely hasn’t been approved.

If your comment hasn’t been approved, it’s because it didn’t meet commenting guidelines. While I am pretty relaxed about commenting, I won’t approve:

1) Forum type comments that look like you’re trying to have a personal discussion.

2) Off topic commenting which often goes hand in hand with #1. This includes comments that are basically requesting that readers provide advice, especially if it doesn’t pertain to the subject at hand. If you have ‘corrections’ that you’d like to make to an article, please send your spelling and grammar guide via the contact page.

3) A comment spread out over several comments. Rambling comments affect readability, which goes hand in hand with #1 again, and is likely to be also #2. If there are for example, 2 comments and the second additional text is pretty short, I’ll generally approve or manually add, as long as there are not other comments not being approved for the same reason on the thread. If you however keep doing it, it will only be the first comment that is approved.

4) Rude, hostile, tone issues, judgemental – you know the deal. If it looks, sounds, and walks like a personal attack, it won’t be approved. I also won’t approve comments that are libellous or that include personal information about another person.

5) Litter – this is one person posting several and sometimes many comments saying stuff like ‘Great comment’. Once or twice fine, but when I have a load from you to approve, it’s litter. Remember this isn’t a forum. I also don’t publish anything that looks and sounds like ‘spam’.

6) Understandably, I don’t post suicide notes or anything that sounds like it’s headed in that direction. I would normally get in touch with you directly at this point…unless you didn’t even provide an email address.

7) Revenge talk, particularly off topic revenge talk and comments that encourage discussion of taking revenge.

8) Your comment links to pornographic, dating sites, offensive content, or ‘player’ how to manipulate people type of sites. Only link to sites that are reflective of this sites values.

9) You’re making offensive comments about race, religion, mental illness, being overweight, questioning why ‘plain’ people have a relationship when you’re beautiful and you don’t – you get the gist.

10) I don’t mind comments that respectfully disagree, but if you post comments that will actually exacerbate the vulnerabilities of readers (see #9 for example), I won’t post it.

11) If you have been previously asked to draw a line under a conflict issue in the comments yet you keep posting comments about it or being passive aggressive by posting direct or veiled comments about it under the same post or on others, your comment will not be posted and if it happens more than two times, you will be permanently banned.

12) If you post information that identifies another person, your comment won’t be posted. If you’re stalking someone and replying to their comments to antagonise them, these comments won’t be posted either and you’ll be permanently banned.

Can I query your refusal to publish a comment?

If you feel like it, but before you do, please read the site use guidelines – remember these are my boundaries and those of the general community. If you are rude when you query it, you won’t get a reply.

My comment was approved but has since been removed.

Sometimes comments slip through the net and are approved when they shouldn’t be. This can happen if they are being approved via iPhone or iPad where the context may have appeared to be one way at the time and later turned out to be another. Removal post approval is very rare though.

I’m being misunderstood in my comments / Someone is saying I said something that I didn’t say

Or you did say it but even though it’s what you said it’s not what you meant. This kind of stuff can be tricky to deal with in a written environment. It’s one thing if someone says you wrote something that you didn’t but if you did write it but in retrospect have determined that you don’t like the meaning attached to it, it’s better to clarify your original statement etc rather than attack commenters for not seeing what you wrote in the way that you want them to. Unsurprisingly I have a no crazymaking policy!