Honest (if Unrealistic) Expectations
If I’m honest with myself, I may be a bit to blame for my constantly tumultuous relational status. I tend to have expectations that don’t fall within the social norm. They deviate to all ends of the spectrum and really have no pattern, but I never claimed to be normal or simple, so at least I’m honest.
1. I want space. I need to be able to breathe. If I can’t call and tell you that I’m going out with the girls or by myself without you giving me the third degree or inviting yourself along, I may have to drug you with horse tranquilisers. I want to be able to go hours without having to check in, and don’t even think about “surprising” me by showing up somewhere you know I will be.
2. BUT…I need constant attention. I want the text message in the morning letting me know you’re thinking about me. I want the random emails all day just reminding me that you’re there and that I’m on your mind. I need to feel, 24 hours a day, that I’m at the forefront of your thoughts. Love me! Need me! Never let me feel forgotten or forsaken!! (But give me my space.)
3. I want chivalry. I want my doors opened and my chair pulled out. Offer to refill my drink while you’re up, and take my hand to help me out of the car. Keep your hand on my back when we’re walking. Hold my hand while we’re crossing the street. Walk on the side closest to the street when we’re on the sidewalk. Do all the things a 1950’s dating guide would instruct you to do.
4. BUT…Never make me feel like my independence is being usurped. I am a modern woman of the 21st century. I am perfectly capable of paying my own way, forging my own path, taking care of myself. There is nothing I can do with you that I can’t do without you. I do not need a man. (But I want one.)
5. I want passion. I want pure, unbridled, heated romance that makes everything tingle from my head to my toes. I want you to want and need me 24 hours a day. I want to see that look in your eyes that says, “If there weren’t people around you’d be in big trouble.” I want you to wake up wanting me and fall asleep wishing there were more hours to make love to me. I want your desire for me to be insatiable.
6. BUT…I don’t want a relationship based on sex. Appreciate me for my mind. I’m extremely intelligent. I have thoughts and opinions that must be appreciated and respected. I never want to feel like your desire for my body has overtaken your desire for my intellect, wit, and spirit. Love me for my mind. (But please, oh please, love my body.)
Be romantic…but don’t be sappy.
Treat me like a princess…but appreciate that I can be one of the guys.
Show me off…but don’t make me feel like a trophy.
Call me out on my crap….but don’t challenge my beliefs.
Encourage my decisions…but tell me when I’m wrong.
Be honest with me…but don’t tell me things I’m better off not knowing.
Like my friends…but don’t get so close to them that I feel threatened.
And lastly
Love me for me. Love all of me. Bad, good, and in between.
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Nikki July 15th, 2006, 2:58 am
LOL!! So true. We women seem to be full of contradictions - it appears perfectly normal to us, but poor men! We’ve fed into fairy tales so long that we have a difficult time separating reality from fantasy…
Couldn't agree more!! January 26th, 2008, 4:26 am
Wow this is so me - glad I am not the only walking contradiction around - are we unrealistic??