So I didn’t exactly go on a date with this guy, but I have a related question.

I met this guy at a bar and we instantly recognized each other from our gym. He and I have routinely made rather intense, prolonged eye contact at our gym for over a year now. I approached him at the bar and asked if he did, in fact, go to the same gym. There was such an incredible instant connection that he proceeded to abandon the table of friends he was sitting with and spend the entire evening with me. We talked for hours and hours, he held my hand, put his arm around me – every sign pointed to his being interested in me. At one point, he tried to kiss me while we were still in the bar, but I told him that I wasn’t comfortable making out with a stranger in a bar. We talked about having a proper date, and even hammered out the details of what we would do and where we would go, etc. He walked me to my car at the end of the night. We kissed for probably half an hour to and hour. It was absolutely amazing.

He told me that he would be out of town until the following Sunday, but that he would call when he returned. On Monday, after his return, I texted him just saying that I had a great time with him that Friday and that I would love to see him again sometime. No response. He has never called, nor has he even responded to my text. And now, it’s almost a week since we met.

Everything logical in me says to forget him and move on at this point. But every emotion I have tells me to wait a little longer, that maybe he will call. We sort of built this up for over a year and then had on life-changing encounter. I don’t really know what to think at this point.

What’s your opinion?

Thanks so much!

You made a mistake by texting him last night.

Did he tel you that he is working double hours after you texted him (after the date)? If so, that is a bad sign. It means that he has made you an option; and that he is probably a player. He hooked you in with the first date, the compliments, and the statements about interest; and he may now have decided that he can take his time…and maybe keep his options open.

Your answer will definitely come by the end of this “poor me, tough two week period of massive work”.

Even if someone is working double hours, he can make time to see you at least once a week. And make plans for this.

By Wednesday.

The night of our date (which was Friday) was amazing. We went out for drinks and saw a local acoustic band perform. He kept talking about our 2nd date, complimenting me, leaned over to kiss me on my cheek. Our goodnight kiss lasted about 15 mins. He asked me to stay and walk on the beach, but I declined. He called me that night and the next day and txt me that next nite. He told me he was interested in me, had a good time and looked forward to seeing me again. But I hadn’t heard from him since. I text him last nite and we text 4-5 times. There hasn’t been mention of a second date! He’s working double hours for the next two weeks. So I don’t know what this guy’s deal is. Should I call, wait or forget him?

No big deal that you hung up. His action in calling you after that shows that he doesn’t think it is a big deal. Might have made him cuirous, more than anything.

So he waited a week to call you? And this was after you made an attempt at contact with him?

So you want to call him. Fine.

Now you, missy, will wait at least one week from that Friday that he tried to contact you. You keep it light, and keep it to the facts. And bring up that your exams are done somewhere in there, that you are happy that they are done, and that you have more free time now.

YOU will end the conversation first. I’d say don’t push him in any way for a date. Just say “later.”

The same applies if he calls you first, before your “time” (see above) to call him.

Unfortunately all these ‘rules’ leads to mean not wanting to look to keen and not strikng when the iron is er.. hot. Hence missing the boat