How NYM Discovered Great Sex Part I
As stated in last week’s column, I had intended to post this week’s column last week, but couldn’t pass up the chance to write about the real life PPMW story while it was still fresh in my mind. As luck would have it, the wait only proved to enrich this week’s column.
Anyone who’s read my blog or this column knows that gender/sexual double standards are a pet peeve. In today’s column, I will be discussing my pet-pet peeve, the widespread notion that women inherently enjoy and desire sex less than men. I think that’s bollocks, and in this week’s column I’ll explain why.
First of all, I’m a woman and I know for a fact that I enjoy sex at least as much as the men I know, and my libido has been equal to or greater than those of the men I’ve dated. Of course I know that I’m just one woman, that everyone is different, and that not all women are the same as I am. However, and many of the women I know and I are living proof that women are not inherently of lesser libido than men.
That said, I’d like to discuss some of the contributing factors to this idea that women are low-libidoed.
Girls are taught some crazy things!!! Sex and gender information is a barrage of mixed messages, but most of the dialog centers on shame and penance and restraint. From the time we’re very small we’re taught that we need to be good, chaste little girls or we will be ruined and called bad names. We’re taught that boys want it and that we’re not supposed to give it up. We’re taught that boys “only want one thing,” that they “just want to get into our pants,” and that we are not to let them lest we ruin our reputation. Virginity until marriage is still to this day impressed upon girls and women as the ideal. We’re also taught that, should we decide to become “tarts” and give up our virginity that we’re only supposed to have sex with men whom we love. We grow up hearing men AND women calling women who are too free with their sexual favors names such as Slut, Harlot, Slag, Tramp, etc. Other sick messages that women have gotten over the years are that sex is something women must endure to please their husbands, and that it’s a “wifely duty,”
Under these hostile gender/sexual circumstances girls become young women and it only leads to ignorance and psychosexual problems. Many women are afraid to have sex, or to learn about sex, or to be open about sex, and this leads to psychological blockage of sexual pleasure, and less or no knowledge about how to have and how to enjoy sex.
I believe that sexual arousal and enjoyment, contrary to popular belief, does not originate from the body, but from the mind. The proof that I offer is that I frequently orgasm in my sleep if I’m dreaming about sex. No one or nothing is stimulating me physically while I sleep and I wake up as a result of the unusually intense orgasms. The physiological reaction is cause solely by my subconscious mind.
If pleasure and a healthy sexual life originate from the depths of the subconscious mind, then the importance of instilling healthy ideas and feeling about sex in little girls and women cannot be underestimated.
To be continued…
In next weeks column I will discuss more about the very negative effects of sexual ignorance and will provide real life examples such as a conversation with a 30-year-old woman who grew up so ignorantly about sex that she didn’t know what orgasms felt like.
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