How to convince a Modern Woman you’re a ‘New Man’
September 6, 2005 by NML
I like my Jack; he’s good for fixing things and taking out the rubbish. He’s a simple soul but he gets a bit ‘bouncy’ sometimes when he’s back on shore leave.
~Mavis Trout, Birkenhead.
Many Women think that the only thoughts that are on a Man’s mind are essentially the following:
• When will I next have sex?
• Who will cook my dinner?
• Who can I show off to?
And they are right of course.
This Blessed Trinity is a Male genetic pre-programming and it’s hardwired. Unfortunately in recent years many Women (and Men) have tried to mask or over-write this programme as social re-engineering and Post-Modernism have begun to try to fiddle with Nature and Evolution. Some people also blame Heat Magazine. This fiddling has had a profound effect on Society with disastrous blurring of both Genders. Men have forgotten who they are, just look at Beckham, and Women have tried to experiment with being anyone they can lay their hands on, just look at Mrs Beckham (That’s Posh not David), becoming ‘Modern Woman’ in the process.
Compounding this issue has been a strange and sinister term coined by the Media: that of ‘New Man’. This is a rather nefarious term and has grown into a near Religion with some confused Men. It has been their response to trying to hold onto the Blessed Trinity, which they feel has been slipping away as Women have become more and more infected by ‘Modern Woman’ propaganda.
Men must now show that they are a ‘New Man’ and some fear that this has become a potential tipping point for Men and the Blessed Trinity.
Fear not.
In the next two articles I shall explore how Men can persuade a ‘Modern Woman’ that they are indeed a ‘New Man’, succeed at the initial attraction and scoring process whilst continuing to develop a relationship if that’s your Bag. Ultimately I will show how pretending to be ‘New Man’ can be used to preserve the Blessed Trinity whilst still maintaining that basic requirement in any interaction between the Genders, that of Sex.
‘So I says to this Bird that she ‘ad nice tits and she went all mental on me.’
~Darren, Peckham.
In Part One we identified a problem in the Gender Status Quo (That’s the Latin term not a tribute band). We saw that ‘Modern Woman’ has arrived and that they want ‘New Man’ (Plus other shiny things). In Part Two, I will show how to appear to be a ‘New Man’ in order to achieve that time-honoured target of Pulling. Many Men are not interested in a convoluted process of having a fulfilling relationship as ‘Modern Women’ see them.
Some Men merely want to pursue a bit of Totty and preserve the relationship at a certain level without having to go through all the hard work of scoring all over again on the next Friday Night. However, they now find that now need some new tools, as the Goalposts appear to have moved. Indeed, some Men are finding that even the female Chavs are starting to display ‘Modern Woman’ traits and that has been a very worrying development for them if they wish to avoid having to repeat scoring every Friday Night.*However, they now find that now need some new tools, as the Goalposts appear to have moved. Indeed, some Men are finding that even the female Chavs are starting to display ‘Modern Woman’ traits and that has been a very worrying development for them if they wish to avoid having to repeat scoring every Friday Night.*Here are four quick pointers for the beginner ‘New Man’ who wishes to provoke interest from a ‘Modern Woman’ yet doesn’t want to embark on anything meaningful, as Modern Women see it, other than Sex.
1 Never admit that the only reason you want to be known as a ‘New Man’ is because it enhances the chances of having Sex, even if it does. 2 ‘Modern Women’ like using new vocabulary from the Media as it makes them think they’re being Progressive. That’s why they like new fashions and shoes, they don’t like being thought of as out of date. Pick up on these words that they use especially the ones concerning Celebrities, TV Soaps, Fashions and Shoes. Do not mention the ones to do with Sex, unless they do.
However, they now find that now need some new tools, as the Goalposts appear to have moved. Indeed, some Men are finding that even the female Chavs are starting to display ‘Modern Woman’ traits and that has been a very worrying development for them if they wish to avoid having to repeat scoring every Friday Night.*Here are four quick pointers for the beginner ‘New Man’ who wishes to provoke interest from a ‘Modern Woman’ yet doesn’t want to embark on anything meaningful, as Modern Women see it, other than Sex.Never admit that the only reason you want to be known as a ‘New Man’ is because it enhances the chances of having Sex, even if it does. 2 ‘Modern Women’ like using new vocabulary from the Media as it makes them think they’re being Progressive. That’s why they like new fashions and shoes, they don’t like being thought of as out of date. Pick up on these words that they use especially the ones concerning Celebrities, TV Soaps, Fashions and Shoes. Do not mention the ones to do with Sex, unless they do.2 ‘Modern Women’ like using new vocabulary from the Media as it makes them think they’re being Progressive. That’s why they like new fashions and shoes, they don’t like being thought of as out of date. Pick up on these words that they use especially the ones concerning Celebrities, TV Soaps, Fashions and Shoes. Do not mention the ones to do with Sex, unless they do.
3 Don’t worry that you actually have to be Progressive yourself, remember the object is to show your ‘Modern Woman’ that you’re ‘New’ and therefore she’ll feel like having Sex more because she can see that you’re moving towards being Brad Pitt, David Beckham or even Peter Andre.
4 Women like Fashion and as mentioned previously; you must show some interest in this process. This is quite simple and not painful. Women follow trends, so buy Okay or Hello magazine and look at what the women are wearing. Chances are ‘Modern Woman’ will want to look like that too. Now look at what the men are wearing and copy a few styles. Simple and guaranteed a shag.
5 For those who are worrying about showing emotion as a ‘New Man’ one only needs to remember tap into certain facial stances and situations that may already have been experienced. These can be articulated as follows:
a. I’m Upset – Remember your Football team losing a game.
b. I’m Depressed – The TV remote has gone walkabout.
c. I’m Confused – Loading the washing machine.
d. Empathy – Take a mirror to the Toilet next time and watch your face as you sit on the Loo.
e. I’m Happy – Easy: Loads of Beer, A Curry, Totty etc etc
* This is using the basic principle that Friday Night is for being with the mates and Pulling and that Saturday is for the Missus. If there is no Missus then Friday Night is for Pulling and Saturday Night is either for pulling again or attempting to get Sex with the Friday Night Pull if there wasn’t any initial success.
‘There’s something about Simon. He seems to know many things all of a sudden that I didn’t expect him to, like how to make the Chili Hummus. It’s dreadfully Sexy.’
~Portia, Notting Hill.In the first two parts of this article we saw that ‘Modern Woman’ wants ‘New Man’. ‘New Man’ is a total anathema for Men. They want the Blessed Trinity of:In the first two parts of this article we saw that ‘Modern Woman’ wants ‘New Man’. ‘New Man’ is a total anathema for Men. They want the Blessed Trinity of:• When will I next have Sex?
• Who will cook my Tea?
• Who can I show off to?
In the first two parts of this article we saw that ‘Modern Woman’ wants ‘New Man’. ‘New Man’ is a total anathema for Men. They want the Blessed Trinity of:
• When will I next have Sex?
• Who will cook my Tea?
• Who can I show off to?
Some Men are confused by this term ‘New Man’ and we’ve already seen that the process of pretending to be such a ‘New Man’ in order to appeal to a ‘Modern Woman’ is not that difficult. In Part Three we shall now look at those Men who for some reason or another (Possibly by foul means or by choice) are in a relationship. After a while a Man can actually find himself or decide to be in a more long-term relationship and that the female he is currently with fits the bill with regard to the Blessed Trinity. There is also the possibility that a Married Man may find, to his shock and horror,that his Missus is now a ‘Modern Woman’ and that he has to become a ‘New Man’.
For the more advanced Man who wishes to develop being a ‘New Man’ away from merely attracting casual dates (and Sex) or no frills relationships (and Sex) or he finds himself Tagged by a Woman (and therefore isn’t getting any Sex until he changes).
A more ‘suitable’ relationship can be developed as follows:
1 It is always a fine balancing act between Being Yourself and Emulating a New Man. Women, as they always do, want both. They want you to be like Brad Pitt (or Peter Andre) but they also want you to Be Yourself. The real truth is that they don’t really know what they want themselves. If Brad Pitt wears Aviator Sunglasses then you must of course wear them too but don’t dress like him, as that won’t be Being Yourself and therefore Sexy. It’s a tricky one and sadly it may mean listening to her to see what she likes.
2 Use the word Partner with a Woman – This word evokes equality, sharing, responsibility and caring to the other half. They like that sort of stuff; it makes them think that they can affect how you’re thinking and are therefore in control. You’ll get more Sex.
3 ‘Modern Women’ are very superstitious. They are always reading the Horoscopes, Gossip columns, Chinese Astrology, Runes, Agony pages and Blogs etc. ‘New Man’ needs to know a little about these subjects; like what page to find them on in a Magazine and that Feng Shui is not Hong Kong Phooey’s sidekick. ‘New Man’ must never be too knowledgeable, as ‘Modern Women’ likes to practice these superstitions on their ‘New Man’ thereby feeling in control. Be assured though, there is not too much hard work involved.
4 In control is not a sexual term, as much as you’d like it to be and for them to realise that’s how you want it to be (as long as they are wearing the appropriate clothing of course). You want to, as a ‘New Man’, encourage her to think that she has an all-pervading influence on your life whilst you are Being Yourself. All of this is really just a mind-game. You want her to think that you are being yourself and that she has a subtle influence on your life but that you don’t know it. This way the only Control you need to worry about is the Television’s.
5 Finally, a lot of Women don’t really want a ‘New Man’ but only one that is prepared to show a bit of emotion and do things like talk to them. They’ll usually put up with the other ‘non-New Man’ stuff. My suggestion here is to be prepared to listen and make a few emotive noises to ‘Modern Woman’ when in Bed together, this may mean that you have to temporarily suspend initiating Sex or have to Mute the Football on the TV.
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