Hot Alpha Female writes
Being single - It’s great! I love it and you should too. Why is it that we are so scared to be alone anyway? Are we ever really alone?
I know heaps of my girlfriends that seem to be jumping from one relationship to the other and it makes me wonder when do you really get to spend some time just getting to know yourself? How do you really know who you are if you are always with someone else?
You know, its OK to be alone and it’s OK to be alone and enjoy it. Who knows, maybe I’m dealing with some of my own issues, but I just don’t see the point in getting into a relationship just for the sake of it. If you get into a relationship because you feel like you NEED to, I can assure you that there is going to be some form of emotional or physical abuse in it because you are more scared to be alone than you are of being abused. You are willing to sacrifice some of your own values because of your own FEARS.
Let me tell you one thing about fear girls: Firstly what does it stand for? “False Evidence Appearing Real” That’s the nice term … I prefer ” F*** Everything And Run”. The scariest part is thinking about the fear.
How many times has there been something that we have been scared of doing? For e.g breaking up with someone or telling them the complete truth when you have done something wrong where the thought has just been terrifying.
But knowing who you are and having that self worth is about being able to acknowledge that fear and stepping forward in spite of the fact that you might be scared. Once you’ve reached past that barrier, not only does that fear dissipate, it is gone forever. It loses its power and you are then able to replace that with greater self-confidence and empowering thoughts.
It’s time to stand up for yourself. It’s time to discover who you really are. And the more that you discover who you really are, then the more attractive you are to men and to the world.
If you ladies are complaining that there are not enough quality men out there, I would say that you are not looking through the right telescope. You see what it is that you expect.
If you expect to date alcoholics and womanisers that’s all you will see and all you will date. If you expect to date nice and respectful men, then more nice and respectful men will be attracted to you. Simple as that.
Let me give you an example of how magnetic you can make your personality by simply building on your own self-confidence.
Last week I wrote a post called “Why Smiling Will Keep Them Dialling”. Basically I explained that if you smile more you will be able to attract more guys on every level. As part of my social experiment I decided to do that for a week or two. Results have been amazing!! Simply by making a shift in my mind, when I walked past guys I was turning heads. I had about 6-7 people ask me for my number and not only were guys more friendly and approaching me more, but so was everybody else!
I’m telling you girls, if you change what goes on in your head first, it reflects in your actions and that reflects on the energy that you give off. You know how some people just walk into a room and you can just feel their energy?
Well that’s what being a Hot Alpha Female is all about. Having a magnetic personality, built on esteem, self-confidence and respect, so that you are able to attract high quality and equally respectful men.
So its time to awaken the Hot Alpha Female within each and every one of you =)
Love ya guys - Let me know your thoughts
Hot Alpha Female is a new weekly contributor to Baggage Reclaim. She’s a vibrant twenty-something that loves talking about dating and relationships, as well as skiing and laughing uncontrollably.
Also read:
Why YOU Are The Problem – The Repeater Boyfriend
Are you really lonely for a boyfriend?
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7 responses so far ↓
1 FinallyOverIt // Mar 19, 2008 at 3:28 pm
HAF–I so agree with you! Even if we are having some “issues” within us that we are working on (like why we are drawn to EUMs), if we present our “external” selves to the world in a positive, confident, self-loving way, the world cannot help but love us. This is a very important message to deliver, especially to us women who are struggling with our own self-esteem and self-worth for whatever reason. I think this is important in life, not just to get a man. I agree that being single is not a death sentence. However, I have been single for A LONG time, and I have to be honest with myself that I would love to have a healthy relationship (is there such a thing?) with a man before I am old and gray. Since I have had unhealthy relationships in the past, one of my goals is to experience a truly loving, honest relationship with someone, but that isn’t at the forefront of my life. I am totally in agreement that women can be happy alone.
HAF, thank you for this post, I think it will give all of us something to think about!
2 Ashley // Mar 19, 2008 at 5:11 pm
HAF - I have been trying your experiment for the past couple of weeks and I agree with you - the results have been great. No one has asked me for my number yet, but I feel a difference in the way people are responding to me. It’s also a much less stressful attitude to have and makes everything more enjoyable.
Like “finally over it” I definitely have been alone for a long time but have had quite a few unhealthy relationships with EUM.
And the “nwe attitude” is also attracting one EUM that I work with who is like the plague. Trick for me will be to resist temptation that my “new attitude” will give him a “new attitude” wanting a healthy relationship with me.
I will say this, he is not as attractive to me any longer. But he can be charming. I would bet $100 that if I initiated seeing him right now, all that charm would go out the window and he’d disappear. However, my self-esteem isn’t worth winning that bet.
Here is to being strong, staying away and resisting temptation!
3 Hot Alpha Female // Mar 19, 2008 at 10:36 pm
Finally over it: N there is nothing wrong with wanting a healthy and fulfilling relationship at all. So with that said, its GREAT to be open for a new relationship but no so much desperate.
There is a difference =) So while you are open to a new relationship you are also just plain enjoying being single.
I mean I talk about single like so much, because I am single at the moment. I’ve probably been single for about a year or so. Dated a couple of people for a short time, but they aren’t really worth counting.
But here’s the thing, I have only really begun to enjoy it in about the last couple of months. Like really embrace and love being single. I have found so much liberation and expression through this .. And the ironic thing is .. I have a feeling that the right person will be walking into my life soon.
I guess what I’m trying to say, is no matter what status you may be in whether that be single or in a relationship. Just enjoy it for what it is, stop looking for that which you don’t have =)
Ashley: Your new attitude will be attracting a heck of a lot of people. Not just EUM’s. And the more you use your magnetic personality, then the more choice of guys you can have to pick from.
I know it can be tempting with EUM’s because they are so interesting. But you have be able to see them for what they really are .. and move beyond that
You know what you deserve. And well all have to stop giving EUM’s so much freaken attention. lol
Thanks guys
HAF
4 Ashley // Mar 20, 2008 at 3:21 am
Just one quick update. Tonight, a man started talking to me on the street, told me I was beautiful and asked for my number to go have coffee sometime next week. I don’t think he’s a guy for me, but I do chalk up the new magnetism to the new positive attitude!
Thanks!
5 JohnofScribbleSheet // Mar 20, 2008 at 11:17 am
As a man, its attractive to see a woman who is happy to be single. needy women who always want to be in relationships are never attractive.
6 lisaq // Mar 20, 2008 at 2:48 pm
Okay, I’m the first to admit I still struggle with being alone and being happy alone. I DO recognize that it’s better to be alone than to be with some assclown. It’s just that I do still have a little bit of fear of becoming the scary, old neighborhood cat woman. I’m getting there though…working and working on it.
Great post HAF!
7 Hot Alpha Female // Mar 20, 2008 at 3:29 pm
Lisaq: Haha i know we can have our down moments where we wish we had someone beside us.
But at the same time, think about it. If we have full rich and busy lives, filled with work and our friends and family, we hardly have any time to be thinking about ONE particular guy.
I believe that its part of human nature to have a partner, but he will come along when you least expect it.
You have to know what you want .. and then kind of surrender to the fact that you dont know when or where you are going to meet your guy
In the mean time, get out there and enjoy life … because yesturday is something that we can never get back.
HAF
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