INTERVIEW - Just call him LLDD!
Ladies Love Dating Dummy….. Dating Dummy one of my favourite bloggers kept his audience captivated as he navigated through the highs and lows of the world of dating.
A self-confessed average Joe, little did he realise that he’d find love through blogging! He leaves behind a wasteland of broken hearted women, but in the meantime, he’s given me a nugget of news no-one else knows about…….
How are things going with ICG?
Things are going really well, actually. Since I haven’t posted much about her lately, I’ll let you be the first one to know that we’re coming close to finally bridging this geographical gap between us. From the beginning, things between us have always felt right, and the chemistry has been simply amazing. So we’re taking the next step: she’s going to move – to San Diego – to live with me. It’s a big step indeed, but one we’re happy to take. I know what I’m looking for, and she knows what she’s looking for – and as it turned out, we both found it in each other. It’s extraordinary, this whole thing, and we’re looking forward to making it work out. There’s so much more to say, but I’ll leave it at that so we can go to the next question.
Did I ever think I’d be so popular with the ladies?
Heck no! I never even imagined that I’d attract such a readership; I started this thing out as an open journal of sorts to chronicle my dating life in San Diego, and that was pretty much it. I didn’t realize that there would be an audience interested in reading about one guy’s life – about how I approached the whole dating scene, some of the challenges that came with it, and some of the joys that came from meeting someone you really like. All this really wouldn’t have turned out the way it did if it wasn’t for the readers. They kept coming back, they encouraged me when I was down, and cheered me on and helped guide me in the right direction in how to approach certain situations with the women I met. They helped write this story, and a lot of credit goes to them. This whole thing has been a fantastic ride, and I’ve been blessed to have such an audience, many of whom I now consider as friends.
What made you decide to call yourself Dating Dummy?
Well, for starters, I really am a Dummy when it comes to a lot of things. I just didn’t realize I’d end up calling myself that. Like I said in my opening banner, this blog was inspired by Breakup Babe. She seemed quite the entertaining expert when it came to dating, and I thought it’d be cool to come up with a name that spoke of my challenges and inevitable blunders in the dating field in a way that had that alliterative effect (you know, Breakup Babe, Dating Dummy, Jumping Jack, Manic Mom, like that).
I also called myself DD because I admit that I’m no expert like the other dating doctors and Ph.Ds out there who do this for a living. I’ve done some pretty retarded stuff when it came to dating back in my earlier years, and that was enough to earn me the title of Dummy. Once a Dummy, always a Dummy!
You’ve called the old DD ‘Dating Retard’ – what were the cardinal sins of Dating Retard?
Well, ultimately, it came down to putting too much attention to me, and paying too little attention to the person I was interested in. Because this is all really simple: you can’t make things work out romantically if your interest level differs significantly from the person you’re pursuing. You both have to be similarly interested, and it’s when you pursue someone who doesn’t share that same enthusiasm about you that you make a gigantic fool of yourself. The cardinal sin of Dating Retard was that I didn’t give enough attention in gauging the girl’s interest level when I pursued them. I finally learned after many egotistical bumps and bruises that not all the hot amazing women I went for necessarily went for me – it was learning to narrow that field to the hot amazing women who WERE interested in me that made the greatest difference in my dating.
Now that you found love/happiness, will you be changing the name of the blog?
That’s a good question, and I’ve been thinking about that off and on. A large part of me says ‘keep it’ – and as a commenter once wrote, keeping the name is a good reminder of pre-ICG times (ICG being my leading lady, to readers who are unfamiliar with who she is). And besides, having a girlfriend doesn’t automatically mean that I’m upgraded from Dummy status! I’m pretty sure I’ll find plenty in the relationship to keep me guessing, which leads to the following names that have been thrown around, should I change the name of the blog: someone once suggested Relationship Retard, and if I get married, Married Moron, and when I have kids, Parental Putz – (laughs) – people sure are good at coming up with some funny names.
Ultimately, I may end up keeping it the way it is. I’ve grown pretty fond of the name, and there’s a rich history that’s tied to it that I’d be hard-pressed to give up.
What’ll you do in 5 years time?
Hmm… that would make me 35. Well, from a career standpoint, I imagine I’ll still be co-managing this hedge fund. The co-manager and I have built this from scratch, and it’s our ticket to enabling us to secure our financial future and for generations ahead of us. It’s that big of a deal. In five years, I imagine I’ll likely be married by then to an amazing woman, have kids, a kick-ass house, and a Mini Cooper! I’m quite the traveler, so I can’t tell what part of the country I’d be in by then. San Diego has its draw, and so does Seattle and New York, but I guess we’ll have to see in 5 years time!
Are you gonna write that frickin’ book?!
I’d like to, really. There’s a lot out there that makes sense only in hindsight, and I’d love to be able to help someone make that journey with fewer bumps and bruises than I went through. I’ve already envisioned the contents of the book; it’s just a matter of putting pen to paper and finding the time to put all those words down.
What is it that makes you get up and try again and believe in a thing called love?
I have this thing where I like to look ahead – years and years ahead – and I do it by reading or hearing about elderly people, people who look back on their lives and contemplate some of the most important things they’ve learned. And the one thing that sticks out? It’s that when you’re on your death bed, the one thing you wished you could’ve done more was to love. It’s a lonely world out there if you don’t have someone you can share it with, and sometimes, we need to take that risk of potentially getting hurt in order to find that one amazing connection. It’s worth it, because I think that’s truly the only thing that can perpetually provide us with happiness. Having lots of cars, a bigger house, or more money can’t do it – at least not for very long. At some point you yearn for something meaningful, and that’s why I’m willing to get back on my feet and try again.
