I also imagine you are correct, that if we all could find joy in each other’s success, without fear for ourselves, those that are attracted to us as friends and intimates would also focus on each other’s joys, rather than manipulating jealousies and fears.

The problem is that when a guy or girl shows good character, they tend to find a partner quickly and quietly go off to celebrate life, while those that are left are jealous of the luck that the recent couple enjoyed. This is a vicious cycle, eternally fueled by the maturing young of yesteryear, each celebrating and repeating all the same old fears, misunderstandings, and values.

The best we can do is probably act with character, and expect that we are being examples for friends and for those children now growing into adults.

i sit next to a woman/girl at work who fits the bill. she is vietnamese. she is criticial and cruel. she chats about everyone, male female. mostly female. i am her fave person to pick on. others tell me i have heard it. it is so ridiculous as i am 39 years old. she is 31 and has no idea my age. i try to one who finds good in other women but this one seems to have come of age in the paris hilton era. I think the media, glossy saucy tabloids mocking everyone, beautiful and not so, and these realit shows are treacheroud to our culutre. it gives women with low self esteem to begin with the chutzpah to rank on others. yes it is about men. she is a one night stand kind of woman, i am not. it is brutal and ridiculous to have to be seated next to this. and while one can say oh yes rise above, please come sit in my cubicle 6 inches away from this woman. she is enough to make one want to quit one’s job but still women against women is not how it should be. why can’t we recognize what we have, what we don’t what we can achieve and what we can never and go from there. if it is any help as well, several of the men i work with find the woman i sit by to be attractive yet ugly in that they know of the way she puts others down. so the whole bitchy thing proves to repel rather than attract. ciao.