Kiss and Run: The Single, Picky, and Indecisive Girl’s Guide to Overcoming Fear of Commitment

March 16, 2007 by NML

Less than a couple of years ago, I made the startling discovery that I was a commitment-phobe. Maybe I should have realised that having chronic bad taste in men, fatally flawed relationships and a penchant for emotionally unavailable men was about my fear of giving too much of myself, but I used to think it was them not me. Fortunately running this site and my personal blog Tired of Men and ridiculing my dating experiences gave me a lot of insight, which I put to good use by sharing my knowledge of rediscovering yourself and being emotionally unavailable.

Kiss and Run by Elina Furman is definitely what you should be reading if you think you have a whiff of repetitive bad relationship behaviour. It has the feel of a friendly female friend dispensing knowledge and advice and opens up Pandora’s Box by explaining what is really going on behind all of our actions. The pickiness, indecisiveness, the I hate men so I’ll behave like men behaviour, making out like you’re a free spirit and don’t want to be pinned down, and much, much more is enough to make most women sit up and pay attention to themselves. What I especially like is the fact that it’s not about convincing you to become committed or stay single, but more a case of, if you make a lifestyle choice, make it for the right reasons and deal with your issues so that you are emotionally and personally happy.

I don’t think that it provides a lot of tools to constructively change the very bad habit of a lifetime but I think that this is a great read for getting an understanding of yourself and your patterns that enables you to start to think differently and be more conscious of your actions. You will still need some help on ensuring that the changes become habit forming but this is a brilliant way of kick-starting the process.

Kiss and Run Available from Amazon for £5.96 or $10.40