Comments on: Knowing When To Stand Your Ground http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/knowing-when-to-stand-your-ground/ Self Esteem|Dating|Relationships|Emotional Unavailability|Commitment| Sat, 11 Feb 2012 16:33:32 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Sally http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/knowing-when-to-stand-your-ground/comment-page-1/#comment-151400 Sally Sat, 26 Apr 2008 07:26:25 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/?p=1031#comment-151400 I think it is really important to be your own best friend. If you are not sure about a relationship then ask yourself what would you advise your best friend to do if she was in your situation. If the answer is "get out", then guess what you should do?! I think it is really important to be your own best friend. If you are not sure about a relationship then ask yourself what would you advise your best friend to do if she was in your situation. If the answer is “get out”, then guess what you should do?!

]]> By: fran http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/knowing-when-to-stand-your-ground/comment-page-1/#comment-150908 fran Wed, 23 Apr 2008 23:53:32 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/?p=1031#comment-150908 Really enjoyed your comment Hot Alpha, can't wait to check out your site! Really enjoyed your comment Hot Alpha, can’t wait to check out your site!

]]> By: Hot Alpha Female http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/knowing-when-to-stand-your-ground/comment-page-1/#comment-150767 Hot Alpha Female Wed, 23 Apr 2008 06:16:32 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/?p=1031#comment-150767 You know girls it reminds me of this quote. Friends are those people .. that know everything about you .. and still like you. You know what? I love that quote coz in many ways its so true. Friends arnt just there when the times are good. They are there with you through thick and thin, through your highs and lows. Thats what real friendship is about. Hot Alpha Female Latest Post -- Talk is cheap and so are YOU http://www.hotalphafemale.blogspot.com You know girls it reminds me of this quote.

Friends are those people .. that know everything about you .. and still like you.

You know what? I love that quote coz in many ways its so true.

Friends arnt just there when the times are good. They are there with you through thick and thin, through your highs and lows. Thats what real friendship is about.

Hot Alpha Female

Latest Post — Talk is cheap and so are YOU

http://www.hotalphafemale.blogspot.com

]]> By: Kim http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/knowing-when-to-stand-your-ground/comment-page-1/#comment-150610 Kim Tue, 22 Apr 2008 17:25:33 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/?p=1031#comment-150610 Cheekie - AMEN! I believe true friendship is just being there for someone period. Some people may say true friendship is slapping you up side the head when they disagree with you. I am all for honesty but I think as good friends you are there through thick & thin without judging. To me that is a real frienship. I would never judge someone else because I wouldnt want them judging me. Cheekie – AMEN! I believe true friendship is just being there for someone period. Some people may say true friendship is slapping you up side the head when they disagree with you. I am all for honesty but I think as good friends you are there through thick & thin without judging. To me that is a real frienship. I would never judge someone else because I wouldnt want them judging me.

]]> By: cheekie http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/knowing-when-to-stand-your-ground/comment-page-1/#comment-150596 cheekie Tue, 22 Apr 2008 16:27:25 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/?p=1031#comment-150596 I have many acquaintances but very few good friends. The friends I do have are the best. The reason is this, whenever I fall, they pick me up. Unless I repeatedly trip myself up, then they cuff me upside the head. lol. That's what friends do. The best of the bunch just shine a mirror at you, and help you figure it out along the way. 9 times out of 10, if you have to ask someone else's opinion about someone, well...you have already answered it. Meaning, if you aren't sure about a guy you are seeing and you have to ask your friends what to do, most of the time you already know. You just need that validation. I had a very dear friend who was in an abusive relationship. I knew for a full year before she got out (she had sworn me to secrecy). It was very very hard to pretend I didn't know, but I knew that the risk of her being hurt further was greater. All I could do was be there for her and ensure her safety by giving her somewhere else to be , and help her get out when she was ready. Now, she is in a happy, healthy relationship with 2 beautiful children. Sometimes friends just don't know what to do or how to help. And some just can't deal with the drama as much as we would love them to. It isn't their fault. It's just a different capacity for stress. I have many acquaintances but very few good friends. The friends I do have are the best. The reason is this, whenever I fall, they pick me up. Unless I repeatedly trip myself up, then they cuff me upside the head. lol. That’s what friends do.
The best of the bunch just shine a mirror at you, and help you figure it out along the way.
9 times out of 10, if you have to ask someone else’s opinion about someone, well…you have already answered it. Meaning, if you aren’t sure about a guy you are seeing and you have to ask your friends what to do, most of the time you already know. You just need that validation.

I had a very dear friend who was in an abusive relationship. I knew for a full year before she got out (she had sworn me to secrecy). It was very very hard to pretend I didn’t know, but I knew that the risk of her being hurt further was greater. All I could do was be there for her and ensure her safety by giving her somewhere else to be , and help her get out when she was ready. Now, she is in a happy, healthy relationship with 2 beautiful children.

Sometimes friends just don’t know what to do or how to help. And some just can’t deal with the drama as much as we would love them to. It isn’t their fault. It’s just a different capacity for stress.

]]> By: nysharon http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/knowing-when-to-stand-your-ground/comment-page-1/#comment-150558 nysharon Tue, 22 Apr 2008 11:48:05 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/?p=1031#comment-150558 I think when family and friends see you continuously going back to a bad situation, it is hard for them the hang in with you sometimes. I know my bf throws her hands up in the air when I tell her I have spoken to the MM. She is a good reality check but at some point they get tired of picking me up when I fall. I think when family and friends see you continuously going back to a bad situation, it is hard for them the hang in with you sometimes. I know my bf throws her hands up in the air when I tell her I have spoken to the MM. She is a good reality check but at some point they get tired of picking me up when I fall.

]]> By: lisaq http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/knowing-when-to-stand-your-ground/comment-page-1/#comment-150553 lisaq Tue, 22 Apr 2008 11:35:33 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/?p=1031#comment-150553 I agree with NML...definitely the killer question. My friend, who finally decided she was tired of being treated like crap, so needs to read this! Dude was living with her, not contributing financially or any other way, and then she found out he was having phone sex and sending naked pics of himself to some girl in Oklahoma. Really? As her friend, I've always been honest with her about what I see in him. I love her enough to be up front. I may not always be able to control my own drama but I'm all over everyone else's! I agree with NML…definitely the killer question. My friend, who finally decided she was tired of being treated like crap, so needs to read this! Dude was living with her, not contributing financially or any other way, and then she found out he was having phone sex and sending naked pics of himself to some girl in Oklahoma. Really?

As her friend, I’ve always been honest with her about what I see in him. I love her enough to be up front. I may not always be able to control my own drama but I’m all over everyone else’s!

]]> By: It’s About Making Babies! » Blog Archive » When is it too bad to stay? http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/knowing-when-to-stand-your-ground/comment-page-1/#comment-150535 It’s About Making Babies! » Blog Archive » When is it too bad to stay? Tue, 22 Apr 2008 10:06:57 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/?p=1031#comment-150535 [...] Alpha Female on Baggage Reclaim wonders why more women don’t know when to leave a bad [...] [...] Alpha Female on Baggage Reclaim wonders why more women don’t know when to leave a bad [...]

]]> By: Sindh http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/knowing-when-to-stand-your-ground/comment-page-1/#comment-150466 Sindh Tue, 22 Apr 2008 01:33:34 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/?p=1031#comment-150466 Hey HAF Thank you. I do understand what you are saying though, in the end all I had to rely on was my gut feeling and mine was screaming ...... NOT RIGHT ! Hey HAF
Thank you.
I do understand what you are saying though, in the end all I had to rely on was my gut feeling and mine was screaming ……
NOT RIGHT !

]]> By: Hot Alpha Female http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/knowing-when-to-stand-your-ground/comment-page-1/#comment-150465 Hot Alpha Female Tue, 22 Apr 2008 01:14:49 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/?p=1031#comment-150465 Hi Girls, Thanks for all the comments. While i do say to look outside yourself and see what other people are saying. I do not mean you need to wholly rely on your friends and family. All i mean .. is that you need to go whatever it takes to get a different perspective. I guess i use friends and family as they were the first people that jumped to mind. I am making the assumption however that they are close friends and family and they only want the best for you. I say that because every time i have brought a guy home and my parents told me their honest opinion of them. Some bad some good. The bad ones were always picked out and while i didn't listen to their advice at the time .. it would always bite me in the ass further down the track. N yes finally over it ... listening to your intuition is always a number one priority! Sindh : Welcome to baggage reclaim =) Hot Alpha Female Hi Girls,
Thanks for all the comments. While i do say to look outside yourself and see what other people are saying. I do not mean you need to wholly rely on your friends and family.

All i mean .. is that you need to go whatever it takes to get a different perspective.

I guess i use friends and family as they were the first people that jumped to mind. I am making the assumption however that they are close friends and family and they only want the best for you.

I say that because every time i have brought a guy home and my parents told me their honest opinion of them. Some bad some good. The bad ones were always picked out and while i didn’t listen to their advice at the time .. it would always bite me in the ass further down the track.

N yes finally over it … listening to your intuition is always a number one priority!

Sindh : Welcome to baggage reclaim =)

Hot Alpha Female

]]> By: guardian http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/knowing-when-to-stand-your-ground/comment-page-1/#comment-150461 guardian Tue, 22 Apr 2008 00:52:19 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/?p=1031#comment-150461 abuse@schlund.com abuse@oneandone.com abuse@schlund.com

abuse@oneandone.com

]]> By: Sindh http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/knowing-when-to-stand-your-ground/comment-page-1/#comment-150458 Sindh Tue, 22 Apr 2008 00:35:39 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/?p=1031#comment-150458 Hey guys I am writing this from Asia, a hard place to go find therapy and support groups, Here everything is dealt with behind closed doors. We are told by our families that its a womans job to put up with this to ensure we keep a guy, yes its true. So we got women putting up with all kinds of abuse because they have got nowhere to go. I guess that is changing now, I found this website and I am sure many others are too. It helps more than you think especially when one got no where else to go. Hey guys
I am writing this from Asia, a hard place to go find therapy and support groups, Here everything is dealt with behind closed doors. We are told by our families that its a womans job to put up with this to ensure we keep a guy, yes its true. So we got women putting up with all kinds of abuse because they have got nowhere to go.
I guess that is changing now, I found this website and I am sure many others are too. It helps more than you think especially when one got no where else to go.

]]> By: FinallyOverIt http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/knowing-when-to-stand-your-ground/comment-page-1/#comment-150453 FinallyOverIt Mon, 21 Apr 2008 23:58:05 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/?p=1031#comment-150453 And, those of us who aren't fortunate enough to have a great support system of friends and family, there is always our INNER VOICE to listen to, right? I know we all have one, but I think sometimes we choose to ignore it, especially if it is telling us something we might not want to hear, such as....."what the hell am I doing with this guy? He doesn't love me and treats me like crap so why am I doing this to myself..." etc., etc. My inner voice has been speaking to me a lot lately, and if I really listen to it, I then know what is right for me. And, those of us who aren’t fortunate enough to have a great support system of friends and family, there is always our INNER VOICE to listen to, right? I know we all have one, but I think sometimes we choose to ignore it, especially if it is telling us something we might not want to hear, such as…..”what the hell am I doing with this guy? He doesn’t love me and treats me like crap so why am I doing this to myself…” etc., etc. My inner voice has been speaking to me a lot lately, and if I really listen to it, I then know what is right for me.

]]> By: NML http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/knowing-when-to-stand-your-ground/comment-page-1/#comment-150443 NML Mon, 21 Apr 2008 21:50:46 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/?p=1031#comment-150443 "How badly do you need to be treated?? .. to finally wake up to the fact that you need to walk away?" That was the killer question - brilliant! I have to agree with FinallyOverIt though that friends and family aren't always an option, particularly for instance if the type of people around you don't make great relationship choices themselves. It's a fine line and ultimately it's about developing enough self-awareness and self-love to judge our choices ourselves. Great post HAF - I love the way you cut right through the fluff! “How badly do you need to be treated?? .. to finally wake up to the fact that you need to walk away?” That was the killer question – brilliant!
I have to agree with FinallyOverIt though that friends and family aren’t always an option, particularly for instance if the type of people around you don’t make great relationship choices themselves. It’s a fine line and ultimately it’s about developing enough self-awareness and self-love to judge our choices ourselves.
Great post HAF – I love the way you cut right through the fluff!

]]> By: FinallyOverIt http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/knowing-when-to-stand-your-ground/comment-page-1/#comment-150386 FinallyOverIt Mon, 21 Apr 2008 18:42:01 +0000 http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/?p=1031#comment-150386 HAF, I see where you are going with this, but relying on your friends and family for advice isn't really an option for me....I don't think my friends care enough about me to really tell it like it is, and my family doesn't really know a lot about my life. I guess what I'm trying to say is it really depends on what kind of relationship you have with friends and family in order for them to help out with relationship problems. In my situation, my friends are also part of my problem! As NML would call it, I am an "over giver". I'm always giving WAY much more than I get back from my friends (and probably family, too for that matter). But I do agree with what you are saying. But then, sometimes it doesn't matter what people tell us, we have to learn through the school of hard knocks! HAF, I see where you are going with this, but relying on your friends and family for advice isn’t really an option for me….I don’t think my friends care enough about me to really tell it like it is, and my family doesn’t really know a lot about my life. I guess what I’m trying to say is it really depends on what kind of relationship you have with friends and family in order for them to help out with relationship problems. In my situation, my friends are also part of my problem! As NML would call it, I am an “over giver”. I’m always giving WAY much more than I get back from my friends (and probably family, too for that matter). But I do agree with what you are saying. But then, sometimes it doesn’t matter what people tell us, we have to learn through the school of hard knocks!

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