Men That Play Games

November 22, 2005 by NYM

Over the course of the last few decades, playing the ‘dating’ game has become synonymous with dating. Generally, it’s the women that use this technique (aka The Rules) however as of late, the men have adapted this phenomenon with varying results.

One of my girls had met this guy online. Let’s call him Jake. Jake looked good on paper, he called her whenever he said that he would, he dropped her grandmother off at her doctor’s appointment, all in all, he was a nice guy.

When Gina had first met Jake, she had no social life to speak of. She went to work and came back home, filling her time talking to Jake over the phone and being at his beck and call. However, she read the article on here “Get a Life” and was spurred into making her single life more exciting. She attended events, threw parties and hung out with a new social crew, one that supported her and helped her gain social independance.

All of a sudden, Jake started becoming uncommunicative and withdrawn. He resented the time she spent with her friends and lashed back by making himself as unavailable to her as he could. She was surprised by the turn of events and tried even harder to please him, calling him frequently and keeping him updated on her plans.

After a strong talking to, (that’s what girlfriends are for!), I made her realize that he was playing games, doing the whole Pushey-Pulley thing trying to get her attention. He wanted her as she was before, at his beck and call, and because she refused he was a petulant child.

For some reason, the thought of a man playing games irks me. He’s supposed to be the protector, the strong rock, a bulwark in time of trouble. A guy acting flighty and fickle just feminizes him and makes me disrespect him. The thing about guys that play games is that they do it so…er…badly, that almost instantly our Sixth Sense is screaming and we know that something is wrong.

I love my man upfront and honest, candid about his feelings and actions. A guy trying to be mysterious and secretive about his intentions turns me off. A guy that doesn’t know what he wants, and decides to keep me on the back burner while he figures it out turns me off. A guy that has a girlfriend but wants me on the side to give him the attention he’s lacking turns me off. A guy that is emotionally unavailable, or just unavailable period, in one way or another…is playing games with you.

Take the rosetinted glasses off honey, he’s not into you. If he is playing/toying with your emotions, he’s just not yours. Get your Moxie back, and get rid of the loser. There are tons of other nice guys out there!

If you’re into unavailable men, why not check out our new blog dedicated to the subject

Vixen is Deputy Editor for Baggage Reclaim. Visit her blog Bad Girls Guide