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Well it’s about that time to say Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays! I’ll be back in a few days! I thought I’d include a photo of me with my girls, Nia 20 months and Saria 3.5 years taken a short while ago.

Whatever you’re doing and whoever you’re doing it with , whether you’re spending it with Me, Myself, and I, with family, friends, a romantic partner, or dare I say it, a reluctant partner, take care of you, enjoy yourself if you can, and remember to be present in mind, spirit, and physicality, and not mentally away on some alternate drama universe.

Remember – don’t spend the whole time checking your phone for emails and texts. Please don’t keep locking yourself away in a room making tense phonecalls. Please don’t keep checking to see if there’s a line fault. Most of all – don’t go expecting miracles where someone is going to deviate from their normal rule of behaviour. Don’t forget my tips on surviving Christmas.

If you’re feeling low (a lot of people do at this time of year) don’t be afraid to talk to somebody like a friend, family member or external source of support, but I would caution you on looking for an ex to do it as you’re likely to regret it. Exhaust all other avenues before you seek out an ex.

Don’t forget – even in the frustrating things, there’s something to be thankful for. Count your blessings in disguise and take care of you. Sending you lots of love and hugs, Nat xxx

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42 Responses to Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays

  1. Magdalena says:

    oh my jaysus your girls are the most adorable things :)
    They look just like you.

    Merry Christmas Natalie! you’ve been such a great source of support for me in the past 8 months.

    -Avid Reader, Magdalena

  2. JJ2 says:

    Happy Holidays, Happy Belated Hannukah, Belated Yule
    Tidings, and Happy Kwannza. I may have mis-spelled some of those
    holidays. I’m by myself (YAY!) and it’s ok! No drama! Just me and
    my pet. I’m so thankful for this blog and all those who have
    posted. Everyone’s story has, in some small way, resonated with me.
    My heart is starting to heal, still some open wounds, but not as
    many as before.

  3. ValleyForgeLady says:

    At this very special time of year I am reminded that the real participants in the First Christmas were not having an easy time. Mary and Joseph had to leave their home to pay taxes to the invasive Romans and then find a place….a stable…to have a baby. The events that followed were also dramatic in that they had to escape to Egypt to escape the death of their baby. Christmas reminds me to enjoy the love of friends and family and to only allow the best people ino my circle.

    Natalie…….Thank you for giving back to the world of confused women who need to be reminded that they deserve to be loved. Your daughters have a great emotional legacy from your generosity! Merry Chrismas!!!

  4. ph2072 says:

    What cute little dolls.

    Happy holidays.

  5. David says:

    Cute kids! Thanks for all you do for us. I value your advice and wish you the best and another wonderful year.

  6. katie says:

    you always keep it real- keep doing what your doing, it helps us all keep it real!!
    Happy Christmas and all the best for the new year- lifelong fan x

  7. no_more says:

    MERRY CHRISTMAS NATALIE! Your children are so beautiful! Lovely photo.

  8. Leigh says:

    Merry Christmas to you and your family, Nat. Thank you so much for all your posts and this lovely blog. God bless! Xx

  9. sunshine says:

    Beautiful beautiful girls! This Christmas is so smooth and
    easy and no small thanks to you and this amazing site…7 weeks NC
    and have gone from brokenhearted to pissed to…ewwwww, what the
    heck was I chasing that sociopath for?? ICK ICK ICK!! I have been
    immersing myself in all of the terrific information here rather
    than obsessing over him, and I feel like I’m waking up from a very
    long very bad dream. Thank you! All the best to you!

  10. jennynic says:

    Happy Holidays to you Natalie and your adorable family.
    Thank you for your wonderful blog which has helped many of us find
    our way out of the dark. Happy Holidays to all of you readers

  11. Fearless says:

    Thanks for your kind thoughts and wishes. Merry Christmas
    to you and yours, Natalie, and to all readers at BR. All the best
    for a guid New Year! What lovely wee girls – little dumplings!
    (seize the moment…mine looked just like yours only yesterday..
    then suddenly she turned twenty-one!! But she’s still my wee

  12. MaryC says:

    Merry Christmas to you too Nat, looking forward to your
    thoughts in the new year.

  13. Nicole says:

    Merry Christmas, Natalie. This holiday season is a big
    improvement over last year, and your blog has played a part in
    that. For that I am so grateful. I wish you a wonderful, relaxing
    time with your family!

  14. Iva says:

    Merry Christmas Natalie to you and your girls! They are

  15. Hopeful says:

    A wonderful post thank you Natalie for all you do!!! Also
    thank you so much for the photo! They are beautiful girls and you
    are a wonderful person! I wish you a joyous holiday and all the
    wonderful things life can hold in the upcoming year. Your timely
    thoughts, advice, wisdom, experineces and guidance are in so many
    ways good for the soul. A kick in the seat when needed, a kind
    word, a way of bringing us back down to earth, a gentle smile and
    the hope for us all to be better, not just in relationships, but in
    life. This site and all the people here mean so much to me
    personally, for the growth, support, experience, and the sharing of
    ourselves and our lives. May we all grow richer and wiser to a
    future that gives us true happiness, contentment, and peace of
    mind. Ladies be blessed, stay strong and stay real!!!! 2011 is just
    around the corner and we have the hope!

  16. grace says:

    Merry Christmas to you and your darlings. You look so happy
    together. Enjoy!

  17. Sweetie187 says:

    Merry Christmas Natalie! Keep up the good work. We really
    do appreciate it. You are an inspiration and you have helped
    millions of women all over the world with your clarity, wit, and
    “no non-sense”, but empathic writing style. I am always talking
    about your website at every opportune moment, whenever i find
    myself in a conversation with someone about dysfunctional
    relationships. I hope you continue to develop and go from strength
    to strength. I would love to see you on TV one day and also would
    love to walk into WHSmiths; Waterstones; and see a
    best selling book authored by you! God bless you, Natalie.
    Sweetie187 -x-

  18. Melanie says:

    Merry Christmas to you too Natalie, and your girls are too
    adorable! Your thoughts & advice has been really helpful to
    me, thanks for that!

  19. Ramona says:

    Beautiful picture. Happy holidays and many thanks to

  20. Susana says:

    Happy Christmas to you all, I’ve been a silent reader, but
    not today. I wish all the best for us all, and I hope that this
    craziness of being unhappy is gone next year. Lots of Love.

  21. Dawn says:

    bless you natalie and your lovely little babies ! Thank you
    for all your help over the past year. i am so glad your

  22. Jude says:

    I have been a silent reader as well. Natalie, you are such
    a support. Your advice is very straightforward, and right on! I
    wish you a very Merry Christmas and would like to extend my
    appreciation for your help to all of us that are wadding through
    unhealthy relationship patterns. I am single mom with a son at home
    and daughter in college. I hope to raise a son who is not an
    ass-clown! :) Happy Holidays!

    • Melanie says:

      lol. Thank You, for raising a son who is not an AssClown!!
      If more mothers had done just that in the past… maybe we all
      wouldn’t be having the problems with them that we are today! So
      many of the guys I’ve dated, their Mothers, Sisters, Aunts, and
      “Female Friends” all treat them like they are some golden little
      prince, and can never do any wrong, and no mere mortal woman will
      ever be good enough for their little AC Princes. You’d think these
      clowns pooped out golden bricks! :-) Thank goodness for any family
      member who actually teaches boys to respect and appreciate

  23. wish_I_found_this_sooner says:

    thanks Natalie and happy holidays everyone!

  24. Jasmine says:

    Nat, Merry Christmas to you and your beautiful family, and
    to all the wonderful people here on the board! And here’s to a
    great New Year! Jasmine

  25. Ange Fonce says:

    Lumières est comme la lune reflète sur l’eau. La lune ne se
    mouille pas, ni l’eau cassée. Bien que sa lumière est large et
    grande, la lune se reflète même dans une flaque d’eau un pouce de
    large. La lune et le ciel tout entier sont reflétées dans une
    goutte de rosée sur l’herbe. Que Votre année à venir sera un pays
    prospère une Natalie Amour Ange Fonce

  26. Over It says:

    Thank You Natalie, Much love to you and your family. Merry
    Christmas to all here at BR! xoxo, Over It

  27. ph2072 says:

    Home sweet home (my 1st home, that is). Enjoy, and
    hopefully you’re taking some time off. :-)

  28. Happy Soul says:

    Dear Natalie, thank you for everything! I wish you and our
    Ladies/gents to have a lovely New 2011 Year celebration!!! You have
    a lovely family and your girls are little cuties:-) !!!

  29. JJ2 says:

    I’m sure Natalie will do a post before New Year’s but
    frankly, I wouldn’t blame her if she decided to just take a break
    until New Year’s! In case she doesn’t do a post for New Year’s,
    well, my New Year’s resolution is to get to a point where I don’t
    need to read the blog any more! Then I will know I am healed! Well,
    except I might want to check to see how others are doing…… and
    what interesting things she has to say next……

  30. freeatlast says:

    Well, finally I am not checking this site quite as
    frequently, although I never miss reading them. There are pieces of
    advice I can pick up from them all. This is the first year for a
    while where I can honestly say. I am totally being me, no acting,
    no trying to please, no wondering if he will text or call. Totally
    comfortable with my life, appreciating the family more than ever
    and finally admitting I would love to find somebody and promise
    myself I won’t sabotage the relationship if it is a healthy one!
    Thank you and Merry Christmas to you and your wonderful family.

  31. Jana says:

    Merry Christmas and a blessed New Year to you and your
    family. Thank you for all of your work.

  32. Nancy says:

    December 26th, Christmas was okay. My girlfriend(family) of
    25 years…left my house on Christmas eve to drive to see her
    boyfriend of 3 months. She left her grown sons at my house to do
    this. Normally they all spend the night. her oldest son than left
    to go home with his dad! We have been spending Christmas night
    together for at least 8 years. This febuary will be the 3rd
    anniverary of my husbands death…Christmas is difficult…yet she
    left. Feel kind of sorry for her…she is so emotionally insecure
    where men are concerned. Yet she did hurt me! Than there is the
    guy….we have been involved for about 6 months and he has a
    girlfriend. Through Christmas I was kind, thoughtful and giving. He
    had been fighting with his daughter and I just did not want to add
    stress to his or my Christmas…mine was stressful enough. Now
    Christmas is over and I am cutting as much contact as I can.
    Somewhat difficult because he also works with me….but the no
    baggage emails and this site are so very helpful. It is interesting
    that my first relationship as a widow is with an emotionally
    unavailable man. I sometimes think it has to do with my
    unavailabilty…that I was not ready for an open healthy
    relationship….just needed someone tohelp me at least open the
    door. I do not hate Bill and have not had anger….but that is
    changing. I can feel myself wanting it to be normal and open or
    over. The hard part has been the over. We work together…so I did
    not want things to be really uncomfortable…I wanted us to be
    friends. I started realizing we would never be friends and reading
    this site confirmed that thought. I am hurting it is hard to let go
    of him for some reason. The sex was good, he made me feel sensual
    for the first time in a long, long time and special and womanly.
    The thing is I might be confusing my need for a connection after a
    long time with the reality of the relationship. One decision I have
    made is not to have much conversation with him about an us that
    really is not there. I am just putting boundaries, walls and
    initating no contact on my part. If he calls me….my goal is to
    let it go to voicemail. When he comes to see me at work….I will
    be friendly and yet start trying to put distance between us by just
    not being as personal. Those are my goals…we shall see

  33. Melissa says:

    Happy New Year!!! Thank you so much for your inspirational
    blog!!! I look forward to reading more amazing articles in 2011!
    You and your little girls are so beautiful stay happy and healthy
    God Bless!

  34. Aubrey says:

    Happy holidays to you Natalie! Thanks for inspiring me with
    all your articles and you will never know how much help you have
    been providing me in the form of this site. May you, your family
    and your loved ones enjoy nothing but pure joy for 2011.

  35. Elle says:

    I hope you had a terrific weekend, Natalie. Love the pic!
    Many thanks for helping me through some rough times earlier this
    year. Best Wishes

  36. charla says:

    May your girls be as wise and warm-hearted as you N :)
    Happy holidays to all. I am still in the heartbroken stage after 3
    weeks of NC. He dumped me for (of course) selfish reasons,
    seemingly in some kind of panic. That AC doesn’t deserve me so no,
    I will never take him back. The passive-aggressive cruelty at the
    end, the games, the tears…never again.

  37. Movedup says:

    Happy Holiday Nat – love the girls! Looking forward to the
    new year. I love resolutions they allow you to make committments –
    to YOURSELF! May all the ladies around the world find peace as on
    New Year’s Eve if only for a short time – stare at the stars and
    dream of life free from relationship insanity. Lead the way Nat !
    Love your faithful follower Movedup

  38. Jasmine says:

    Sometimes it is hard to get throught the holidays. My dad
    passed away a few years ago right before Christmas and my little
    brother and sister were 6 and 5 years old. Christmas is such a huge
    deal for my family it always has been , but it has been bigger than
    ever. Not bigger as in more presents, bigger as in more family and
    friends, more love. But it is still very difficult, that’s why it
    is so important to surround ourselves with all the love.

  39. k l says:

    thanks soooooo much for all your insight it is so very
    helpful xoxoxo you and your daughters look adorable!!!

  40. buffythebs_slayer says:

    Natalie, Merry Christmas to you and yours. To all the
    ladies who have just broken up or are still feeling the pain of a
    recent separation, now is the perfect time to celebrate your
    FREEDOM and YOU. You are worth being celebrated! xx00

  41. Ninotchka says:

    Nat, I wish you and your family great holidays. Thank you
    for your work and support that you’re sending out there, I am happy
    that I found your site and I am looking forward to new articles!

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30-Day Project: Dealing With Tricky Family Members

Tired of dealing with family drama or waiting for them to spontaneously combust in to changed people? Need to find ways to step back and take proactive steps to redefine the relationship from your end? This 30-Day project will help you do just that.